• zante@slrpnk.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    185
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    1 month ago

    Woodworking 94%. Right.

    Try ordering a new lathe after you’re married.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      16
      ·
      1 month ago

      I have a friend who’s very attracted to her husband’s woodworking. Mind you he’s a world class artisan for equipment for a shared hobby of theirs, but still, she’s very supportive of his lathe purchases.

    • riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      1 month ago

      Hey if I were married to you I would support your hobbies and interests. I’d want you to be happy.

      Lathes are expensive though, so if there expense were to come from our shared account we would need to have a discussion first.

  • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    193
    arrow-down
    10
    ·
    1 month ago

    “traveling” yikes.

    That is one way to say, you think wealth is attractive.

    I have traveled quite a bit and I like it a lot, but it is no hobby. For it to be a hobby, I would have to have a lot more money.

    Once or even twice a year, is hardly a hobby.

    • frickineh@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      57
      ·
      1 month ago

      It could also just be women thinking, “I’d like to visit _____ when I’m able, I want my partner to go with me.” Working in a passport office, I’ve met a shocking number of men who have never left the US (or sometimes even the state) by choice. Then their wife or girlfriend wants to go to Mexico or something, and they come in talking about how they’re only doing it for her and they’d never travel if it was up to them.

      Anyway, I’d consider traveling one of my hobbies even though I can’t afford to do it often - plenty of time is spent planning and looking at things to do, so it goes beyond just the few days of the trip.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        19
        ·
        1 month ago

        I think so too.

        I’ve met people who are extremely happy living in their small town life doing small town things, then get angry or confused why anybody would want to go someplace “exotic”.

        • Aceticon@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          18
          ·
          edit-2
          1 month ago

          Maybe “travelling as a hobby” as a women’s preference with regards to men is at about it being a man’s openness and ability to deal with totally different environments, disposable income, time availability and possibly foreign language skills.

      • BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 month ago

        I’m one of those people. I’ve never flown, rarely leave my state. My wife wants to travel, but we haven’t yet. I, personally, have no interest in it. Just like sports and most popular movie franchises. I just have no feelings about it at all. It seems like a huge hassle.

        • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          1 month ago

          Yea same. New places, new people, and trying to figure out where I’m going stress me the fuck out. A vacation is just a whole week of that. No thanks. I want to use my time off to relax. If someone else wants to plan the whole thing and I just follow them around it’s fine but I don’t want to deal with that shit myself. It’s not enjoyable to me at all.

        • frickineh@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          1 month ago

          I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with that, it’s just not going to be compatible with everyone. I would never date anyone who didn’t prioritize travel at least a little, but that’s definitely not universal.

        • saigot@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          12
          ·
          1 month ago

          It’s unclear what countries this poll includes, having minimum paid leave is the law in most of the world. There’s also quite a few careers that involve forced time off.

        • IMNOTCRAZYINSTITUTION@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          1 month ago

          If you live at home or are technically homeless it doesn’t really matter. If you can save up a bit and have a charismatic personality you can go far, especially if you’re willing to pick up shitty temporary jobs in places where you go. I had a friend who would do this all the time and periodically return home to work at a reliable job while living with a friend, save up more, then fly off to somewhere for a few months.

            • frickineh@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              10
              ·
              1 month ago

              “Fun” fact, this is actually why my mom has no interest in camping as an adult. Her family was homeless a lot when she was a kid and her mom disguised it as a fun extended camping trip. The kids bought it for the most part, because the family really did camp for fun, and they were used to fishing for dinner and things, but she said as she got older, she realized things like the month long trip in November were because they lost their housing.

              • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                4
                ·
                1 month ago

                My wife hates camping. She needs electricity, a toilet, wifi, etc.

                I never thought about why until your comment. My wife moved houses every few months as a kid. Maybe 10-15 times total before before college.

      • bluewing@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        20
        arrow-down
        4
        ·
        1 month ago

        For the vast majority of you, long travel is required to get to somewhere you can backpack. And the the gear and foodstuffs is expensive also. And judging by the damages to the environment that some inconsiderate people leave these days, I’m not sure that you should be allowed to. (I’m getting sick and tired of picking up garbage and hauling it out of the forest I live in).

        • NielsBohron@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          1 month ago

          “Backpacking” can also mean couch surfing and staying in hostels or on park benches. In the early 2000’s, it was a really popular way to travel across Europe (at least among rich white college kids)

          • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            9
            ·
            1 month ago

            Is hostels still a thing for young people?

            I wonder if AirBnB destroyed that industry. I saw a “hostel” in my city but it was charging $70 a night. When I was growing up, hostels were like $20-30 a night, cheaper than a motel 6.

            • NielsBohron@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              4
              ·
              1 month ago

              Afaik, they’re still around, but inflation and popularity has caused the prices to increase a fair bit.

      • The_v@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        1 month ago

        Or be in a religious cult like Mormons. Of course they will send you to a foreign country and confiscate your passport until your 1.5-2 years are over.

        • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          1 month ago

          Do they really confiscate your passport?!

          Holy shit thats what Dubai employers do to keep their servants enslaved!

    • Piemanding@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      1 month ago

      I remember listening to some pop song and realizing that it was basically “You love me 'cause I’m rich”. Do you like trashing hotel rooms, going places you have never been? I don’t remember what song it was or the exact lyrics, but I just hated the guy then and there.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        10
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        1 month ago

        Depends.

        If they flaunt it with their fancy cars and designer clothes, I think they’re gross.

        If they look like a hobo but are highly educated about finances… Aaaaay bay bee how you doin? Wink at me, you economist with a 401K who ties her hair up because she hasn’t showered in days because she was doing data science. Spit in my mouth, you engineer with a diverse stock portfolio who wears the same hoodie you wore in college because clothes shopping is hard and you want to focus on optimizing your CI pipelines. Choke me, you tenured professor with a mature retirement fund who dedicated their life building physics engines to teach grad students.

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          1 month ago

          I wasn’t saying it’s like that for everyone but rather in a generalized way being wealthy seems to be a factor in making someone seem more attractive.

      • eatCasserole@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 month ago

        There was this study where they asked a theater full of women to rate the attractiveness of men, based on a photo and a profession. Then they changed all the professions (but kept the same photos) and did it again.

        The same picture with a higher-paying job was rated significantly higher.

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          1 month ago

          Wealth and social status and what those can provide are just attractive features to people.

    • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 month ago

      I love being in other countries and meeting new people and learning about their culture. But I fucking haaaaate traveling.

    • merc@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 month ago

      A lot of these hobbies are wealth-adjacent.

      Playing an instrument: a good instrument isn’t cheap, and music lessons can be pretty expensive.

      Woodworking requires a lot of fairly expensive tools, and a space to do it. You can’t really have woodworking as a hobby if you live in a small studio apartment. You basically need a house, either one with a basement, a shed or a garage.

      Gardening: requires a garden, something you’re unlikely to have unless you have your own house.

      Photography: I don’t know anybody who is into photography who hasn’t sunk a lot of money into the hobby. There’s the cameras, the lenses, and even the software these days.

      Astronomy: see above.

      Hiking: not expensive on its own, but in North America it means being able to drive to a wilderness spot outside the city, so you pretty much require your own car.

      Archery and blacksmithing: again, requires a specialized space

      Now, I know that there are cheap options for a lot of these. A musician could be someone drumming on an upside-down pail. Someone who only has access to a hotplate could still experiment with food. Woodworking could be just whittling sticks found in the park. Gardening could just be tending to a small houseplant. But, are these the version of the hobbies the women are picturing when they’re imagining a potential mate doing the activity? Probably not.

      Meanwhile, a lot of the stuff at the bottom of the list are very cheap hobbies. Like being influenced by the “Manosphere” just requires access to social media, same with porn and “arguing online”.

      Honestly, it looks to me like if you sorted the list by “dollars per hour someone invested in that hobby is likely to spend” you’d get many of the same things at the top and many of the same ones at the bottom. Some of the few exceptions are writing and reading, which can be pretty cheap hobbies, but are still apparently very attractive.

    • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 month ago

      I have shit ton of these, man I am the sexiest man alive /s.

      These all great traits, I remember to include them if I ever have to go back out into the dating world. Please I hope that never happens.

  • ChicoSuave@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    102
    ·
    1 month ago

    Blacksmithing is 88% Was this list made by a metal shop kid?

    “Oh babe, I love your soda lime mix. You’re not like those other brittle iron bitches out there”

    • Maalus@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      38
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 month ago

      Being handy is attractive. Getting a nice unique present is cool. And blacksmiths / woodworkers are the ones that do that kind of stuff.

        • Skua@kbin.earth
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          15
          ·
          1 month ago

          To be fair my limited experience with blacksmithing has given me the distinct impression that I would have magnificent arms if I did it regularly

          • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            14
            ·
            1 month ago

            While there’s some outliers especially thanks to power hammers, a dedicated blacksmith looks a lot closer to a strongman competitor than mr universe.

          • merc@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 month ago

            If you did it in the olde fashioneded way with a manual hammer, manually stoking the forge with a bellows, etc., then sure. But AFAIK modern blacksmithing is pretty similar to modern carpentry or welding or any other hobby where the machines do most of the work. It’s still a somewhat active hobby, compared to doing something with a computer. But, I don’t think a modern blacksmith is going to get huge arms from doing it.

        • jballs@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          11
          ·
          edit-2
          20 days ago

          I only know one guy who is into blacksmithing and - being a nerd myself, I say this with kindness - but this dude is a super nerd. He’s also one of the scrawniest dudes I know. I’ve heard him tell women that he’s into blacksmithing before and it definitely does not have the desired effect that this chart would imply.

          You always have to consider Rule #1 when taking these things into account.

        • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          1 month ago

          I’ve met a TON of blacksmiths and they usually just look like normal guys but slightly more buff, often overweight. The machinery does most of the work.

          • Takumidesh@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            1 month ago

            Yea, I would wonder why hobby engineering isn’t on the list, or something like ‘maker’ I think 3d printing as a stand alone is more of a support, it would be like, instead of woodworking, the hobby is ‘sawing’ it’s part of it, but engineering is what the hobby is actually.

            • Maalus@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              1 month ago

              Because a blacksmith, woodworker or a metalworker are all makers. Ultimately what matters is it is a highly skilled thing that triggers imagination and creates something out of “nothing”. Differentiating between those as hobbies is a matter of how often the hobby is chosen / represented online. There are more woodworkers than metalworkers. Less blacksmiths, so you think of “blacksmith” less when asked what’s “hot”.

    • Sonor@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      15
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 month ago

      I can not fathom how blacksmithing is LOWER on the list than reading. “The dude with the hammer looks nice, but that other one over there is sitting on a sofa for HOURS on end”

      • SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        33
        ·
        1 month ago

        Maybe because reading is a sign of being intelligent/cultured in people’s mind, and people on average value that slightly more than physical fitness

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        20
        ·
        1 month ago

        Reading demonstrates culturing, education, pursuit of knowledge, and willingness for good conversation. It’s also a hobby that can be practiced together (my wife and I have even devised a technique for how to best read books together)

        Blacksmithing is one of the few hobbies that a guy probably can’t teach his girlfriend because women usually use a different technique to make up for strength differences. It’s hot for sure, but it’s hot in a “I’m going to watch you but it’s expensive in time and money, and I may wind up stuck selling at ren faires forever” way as opposed to a “even when we’re old we’ll still be discussing literature” way

        • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          11
          ·
          1 month ago

          I’m a woman, I can definitely learn to smith, and have done it a few times (I do reenactment, there’s basically guaranteed to be a few blacksmithsin every friend group). I definitely couldn’t do it for a living, but as an occasional hobby, sure.

          And I haven’t met a guy into smithing who didn’t also like a fit partner, so hey.

          It’s hot for sure,

          Hehe

          • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            5
            ·
            1 month ago

            Oh I’m not disagreeing that we can learn. I’d just heard we tend to use a different technique than men, but I’ve never tried and none of my friends that are into sca are smiths so I was never taught otherwise.

            Smithing is a hobby I’d love to take up if I had a lot of time, money, and trust from my wife that I won’t hurt myself

            • anomnom@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              1 month ago

              I so metal working as a hobby. You’ll hurt yourself, but it’s usually burns and using the the hammers as a thumb detector. Fingernails grow back though usually. It’s the angle grinders you gotta respect.

              Tell her that scars are cool and go for it!

              Just wear eye and ear protection, and get a good leather apron and welding gloves.

        • KokusnussRitter@discuss.tchncs.de
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          1 month ago

          Blacksmithing is one of the few hobbies that a guy probably can’t teach his girlfriend because women usually use a different technique to make up for strength differences.

          Me, a woman who tried blacksmithing before: Don’t use spring steel or other metals that are hard to manipulate/hammer into shape when starting off. Don’t start with a sword, start with bending and twisting a nail into… whatever. If they like the hobby they’ll stick to it and the muscle will build over time. And if it doesn’t: power tools.

          • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            5
            ·
            1 month ago

            Good to know, I’m a woman who’d apparently been misinformed but it is one of those things I’ve always wanted to try, but it’s not an ADHD “pick up every hobby” friendly one

            • KokusnussRitter@discuss.tchncs.de
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              1 month ago

              but it’s not an ADHD “pick up every hobby” friendly one

              That’s true. I was in luck and there was a blacksmith in town who opens his workshop to kids on occasion or travels to job conventions and brought his tools with him. Maybe there are comparable activities/ offers near you, which I can highly recommend. Not only will you not have to worry about tools and materials, most importantly there will be a “teacher” around.

              If you find something and decide to check it out, have fun! :)

  • Lorindól@sopuli.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    64
    ·
    1 month ago

    I had 10/15 of these when I was single, and I was single for a very long time. That is how I had the time to learn all these hobbies/skills.

  • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    57
    ·
    1 month ago

    Judging by what I see on dating sites, fishing is near the bottom of the list. So many women’s profiles say something like “I don’t want to see a picture of you holding a fish”

    • ObsidianNebula@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      34
      ·
      1 month ago

      I wonder if it is fishing itself that they don’t like, or if it is the prevalence of fishing photos on dating sites. I know that a lot of guys post fishing photos on their profiles (probably because most men don’t take many photos of themselves but will take photos with a nice catch), so maybe it just seems unoriginal or low effort. I’m honestly not sure, but my only point is that it may not be the hobby itself.

      • pool_spray_098@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        20
        ·
        1 month ago

        Agreed, I really don’t think it’s the fishing itself.

        Half the problem on any dating site is the classic: 1. Be attractive 2. Don’t be unattractive.

        If the dude is holding a fish but looks like Chris Evans, she will probably still be interested.

        On top of that, dudes holding the fish will overwhelmingly tend to look like the wrap around sunglasses wearing, goatee having, overweight, Trump voting cliche. Women probably build an association to not being compatible with dudes who love fishing after enough times of seeing that and connecting these dots.

        • phx@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          1 month ago

          I dunno, I know plenty who fish as part of a general interest in outdoorsy stuff and their actually in pretty decent shape.

          I think part of the fishing issue is that I don’t know so many women who actually have as much interest in such as guys, but I do know a lot of guys who don’t do have a lot of interests outside of hunting, fishing, and camping. Cool if you’re into that, but continual weekend trips involving tramping through damp bush to shoot and then skin Bambi, tenting in a mosquito swarm, and hours in a boat plus gutting fish isn’t exactly great dating for many (even if the guy did look like Chris Evans).

      • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        1 month ago

        I assumed it was a combination of “it’s really common” and “fish are gross” but I don’t look at men’s profiles and don’t fish so I may be way off

      • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 month ago

        I’ve heard it compared to the scene in Toy Story where they’re trying to find the right Buzz Lightyear amongst all the identical clones.

    • Belgdore@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      22
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 month ago

      It’s that men don’t take a lot of pictures of themselves. Then they refuse to take any specifically for their dating profiles. Taking pictures specifically for a dating profile would show that they actually care about finding a person they would do other things specifically for.

      • CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        17
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        1 month ago

        Taking pictures specifically for a dating profile would show that they actually care about finding a person they would do other things specifically for.

        This is a dead giveaway that you’ve never asked men why they don’t take and share pictures of themselves. Most men in the anglosphere consider it vain and self-destructive to obsess over their looks. You can also see it in the way they buy clothes (“I’ll take 5 pairs of the same pants, thanks”), the way they cut their hair (“just take an inch off and even it out”), and the way they present themselves, often with as few accessories and adornments as possible. Those they do have are utilitarian or deeply personal.

        • valtia@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          1 month ago

          that’s exactly the point. taking a picture won’t kill you, and it sets you apart from all of the other men who are so stubborn that they refuse

          • urbeker@programming.dev
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            8
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            1 month ago

            This is what’s wrong with the culture wars. You know why most men don’t have any pictures of themselves, or if they do it’s of them doing something else? That’s the only time people take pictures of them. Most men literally don’t have someone that they can just ask to take a picture of them. That coupled with the generally terrible body image issues most men have means taking dating profile photos is intimidating, better just to flick through the ten or so photos you already have and pick a couple.

            I would bet the vast majority of men posting pictures of themselves holding fish would love decent photos just of them but have no idea how to do it themselves or have anyone to ask.

            • Belgdore@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              3
              ·
              1 month ago

              Those are excuses. I took selfies and found my girlfriend of two years on a dating app. I learned how to pose myself and present a good image. One of the pictures is a major factor in why she started talking to me in the first place. My expression and eyes were what she liked.

              I have body image issues, I had no one to help me, I have depression and anxiety, and I got it done. No one is asking men to move the earth. Women are just asking for them to give it a try and show that they give a shit.

              It’s not culture wars, it’s men failing to even try a little bit to even look interested.

              • urbeker@programming.dev
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                5
                ·
                1 month ago

                You are framing the issue as men vs women, it’s classic culture wars.

                Saying that because you could do something all people that can’t do that are inferior is quite an arrogrant stance. Lots of people can give a shit and still be bad at things. Very few people put up a dating profile they think is bad.

                I just think that the unpresidented transformation of how dating works in the last 15ish years, doesn’t work for anyone very well. There are studies showing how it is affecting the fertility rate. With just a handful of companies controlling the algorithm that most people now use to find their partner, with no oversight or accountability.

                I don’t think the dating landscape would be any healthier if everybody suddenly got good photos. Algorithm based dating just leads to general dissatisfaction. Not that it was much better in the past to be fair, but at least it was organic.

                • Belgdore@lemm.ee
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  arrow-down
                  3
                  ·
                  1 month ago

                  We are talking about a specific issue between a certain type of man and that is being complained of by a certain type of woman.

                  The issue is between straight men and women. I could add several qualifiers (we aren’t talking about metro sexual rakes for instance), but I think most people are aware of the type of men that fall into the categories we are discussing.

                  I was pointing out that any one can do what I did. A data point of one doesn’t mean much, sure. But unless a person has some disability they should be able to take a decent picture of themselves. We’ve had good digital cameras in our pockets for over a decade, it’s your own fault if you don’t learn how to use it.

                  What does fertility rate have to do with relationships? Sounds like a conservative/ incel talking point to me.

                  Apps and the algorithms suck for a lot of reasons, but they aren’t going away and we have to adapt.

        • isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          1 month ago

          I mean yea, there’s no point in faking all that (having fancy hair, fancy pants) to have a relationship that’s based on lies and that will crumble the instant you show your true self

      • Fosheze@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        1 month ago

        It’s that men don’t take a lot of pictures of themselves.

        I can’t speak for all men but I have a complete inability to look even remotely normal if I know a picture is being taken of me. I try to take profile pics and they all wind up awful and that’s not just my view. I showed my friend just to make sure it wasn’t just poor self image talking and they reacted like I was showing off a broken bone. I think the only way I’m going to get workable dating profile pics is if I have a friend take pictures of me without me noticing like I’m some sort of cryptid and they’retrying to capture proof.

      • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 month ago

        Unfortunately, the fact that they don’t take many pictures of themselves can be really obvious. I try not to turn a guy down because of a bad profile picture, because I know there’s a technique to it and that requires practice.

        At the same time, we’re in a digital era - you can take 100 pictures and only upload your favorite one. There’s no reason for an average guy’s profile picture to resemble a mugshot.

      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 month ago

        I just don’t want pictures of myself on the internet. I value my privacy. Huge part of the reason I never had a dating profile.

    • Wogi@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      1 month ago

      It’s like 95% of male profiles. Bad selfies and the only picture of them taken by someone else is them holding a fish.

    • sverit@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 month ago

      Well, makes kinda sense, “killing animals” is near the bottom of the list of any women I know ;)

              • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.net
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                edit-2
                1 month ago

                Voyager recently added user tags (allows you to label other users) but the app also doesn’t appear to use the display name option available in Lemmy (or at least no one has it enabled from the screenshots I’ve seen posted), so it just shows the username you use to log in, which doesn’t have special characters.

                My display name is my username, but spelled using emojis in case you don’t see it that way, either.

                • aeharding@vger.social
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  4
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  1 month ago

                  Oh, I see. Voyager doesn’t show that because display names are confusing for mentions, can be used to impersonate, and distracting. It might be an option to enable in the future, off by default.

                  Edit:

                  Claim

                  To clarify how I really feel, here’s my hot take: display_name is a really awful feature and should be removed from Lemmy.

                  Why?

                  They are dangerous by default because the very concept implies that clients should render display_name instead of the username, if it exists. Which is unwise: Apps have to choose between replacing (bad for impersonation/UX/distraction reasons) and showing both (which just looks duplicative most of the time).

                  What makes this feature even more frustrating is that people are now using display names for their username + flairs of actually important things, like gender identities. (for example, display_name="Alex (he/his)")

                  It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation for Lemmy clients. Some people are using display_name for important info like gender identities, and yet display_name is so incredibly easy to impersonate people and otherwise abuse.

                  Solution?

                  What is the solution? I think Lemmy should ditch display_name and replace with flair (or something like this). The general idea is that flair is NOT a replacement for your username, but rather it will be displayed alongside it.

                  Maybe even make flair per-community like Reddit. I think that was a much better design than what Lemmy currently has.

    • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      1 month ago

      I read, write, cook, paint, swim, travel, and hike, and last gardening. I should be rolling in it. But my wife finds me sexy so I got that going for me.

      • riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        23
        ·
        1 month ago

        …11% of women find men who watch pornography attractive?

        12% of women find men who argue online attractive?

        23% of women are into cryptobros??

        • zea@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          9
          ·
          1 month ago

          I think this is from a survey, so keep in mind that its people reading and answering questions. Some number of people always interpret it a different way or misread.

        • AA5B@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          1 month ago

          A lot of cryptobros claim to have gotten rich, or seem likely to be flashing their money around. If someone is throwing money around, why not be somewhere you can catch some

        • drathvedro@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          1 month ago

          Watch porn, or make porn? I know a few friends who would find latter attractive. Not so much the former.

            • drathvedro@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              5
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              1 month ago

              Yeah. It’s kind of like being an actor vs just enjoying watching movies.

            • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              1 month ago

              These lists make the most sense if you just imagine the stereotype the hobby exudes. Woodworkers are rugged, work with their hands, have a bushy beard and smell like fresh cut wood all the time, meanwhile someone who’s hobby is watching porn is overweight, hasn’t showered in a week and will have unrealistic expectations of you while struggling to perform in bed himself. But someone who makes porn is buff, squeaky clean and knows his way around a women’s body.

      • Twoafros@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        17
        ·
        1 month ago

        How can reading be no 1 most attractive and comic books are on the unattractive side of the list?

        • RBWells@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          14
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          1 month ago

          I think it’s collecting vs reading. I’m a lady and read comics, well graphic novels, I don’t buy the individual issues. Half my bookshelf is graphic novels trade paperbacks. But I do not collect, trade, sell, I don’t think of them like that, they are for reading and enjoying.

          Collecting I can see as an unattractive trait because it’s too close to hoarding.

          • Edgarallenpwn@midwest.social
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            1 month ago

            Whew that was a close one. I started reading comics again a few years ago and only have been getting TPB or HCs. Who has space for boxes of singles?

        • MBM@lemmings.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          1 month ago

          If you’re genuine: reading brings to mind books, and people might see books as intellectual but comics as geeky/childish

      • Fosheze@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        1 month ago

        Ok, but most of those shouldn’t even be considered hobbies. Like poker can be a hobby but if your hobby is just “gambling” then you probably have an issue. I guess your hobby could be porn if you’re in the kink scene and into making porn or something, but while watching porn is ok, if you consider watching porn a hobby then you may have an issue.

      • merc@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 month ago

        I like that Debating is rated at 30.?% but there’s a separate category for “Arguing Online”.

        I guess that being a Master Debater who comments on people’s posts “Debate Me Bro!” doesn’t count for the slightly more preferred category?

        • merc@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          1 month ago

          There are plenty of people who go out for a drink after work. I don’t think they’d describe it as a hobby though, and if they did they probably wouldn’t just call it “Drinking”.

        • RBWells@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          1 month ago

          I do have a cocktails hobby, but would file it under “cooking”. Not being drunk as a hobby but creating something delicious is so satisfying. I don’t enjoy being drunk but do like a drink, make one 1 to 3 times a week for me and always something great for parties/entertaining.

          I almost think it insulates against alcoholism the same way caring about good and delicious food insulates against overweight - I don’t really ever drink just to drink, or eat mindlessly. I make intentional meals, intentional drinks, and enjoy them.

      • Sylvartas@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 month ago

        Wtf, I know how obnoxious stoners can be, but have these ladies even met a cigar snob ? They’re worse, and it smells worse too !

    • Obi@sopuli.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      1 month ago

      To be fair, I enjoy both these things but I don’t know that I would classify them as hobbies, more as something I do to wind down. I can see video games going into hobby or even profession territory but THC is just a medicine for me. A hobby is something that needs to challenge me, in which I learn things and get better at it.

      • CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 month ago

        I make mods for video games. It actually pays out too, I make a few hundred a year. It’s basically computer parts money lol.

        Does that count as a hobby? I’m afraid to ask, women are pretty judgy about this stuff.

  • Gladaed@feddit.org
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    41
    ·
    1 month ago

    Tl;dr: any interest is interesting and attractive. In particular if it can be done without annoying your partner and shows your ability to think independently. If it produces something useful that’s cool, too.

  • kamen@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    38
    ·
    1 month ago

    When does cooking stop counting as a basic day to day survival thing and start counting as a hobby?

    • bluewing@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      18
      ·
      1 month ago

      When you worry about the brand of the olive oil you use and the cost, (over $100 per knife), of your kitchen knives. And your stove is a $4000 induction model with 2 ovens.

      Source: My one Son-in-law. But the son-of-a-bitch CAN really cook!

      • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 month ago

        I have two Kitchenaid mixers, and all my specialty tools. Cooking and baking can definitely be a hobby. We have the meals to survive. Then we have the shit I make that tskes a list of ingredients a mile long and all day to accomplish. But goddamm they are some great food.

        • bluewing@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          1 month ago

          That brings up an interesting thought.

          Am I a cooking enthusiast because I spend time hunting/fishing/foraging wild ingredients? Many of my neighbors do some foraging and hunt and fish also. (I live on a lake in the middle of a very large forest). Or does the fact I made 10lbs of home smoked Canadian bacon in my own smoker this fall make me a cooking enthusiast? Maybe the breads I sometimes bake? Or the hand harvested and then parched over a wood fire wild rice I traded some of my bacon for from my one neighbor?

          Am I a cooking hobbyist? Or am I just cooking to survive? Where is the line drawn?

            • bluewing@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              1 month ago

              Would I survive? Perhaps not so well. Everything I forage or hunt and fish for reduces the amount of dollars spent on buying groceries. And a good portion of what we eat you can’t buy in a store.

              • RBWells@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                1 month ago

                The second part of that comment sounds like you are a culinary enthusiast not a survivalist. Like, I grow stuff in the garden to get better, fresher foods and varieties I don’t see in the store, and also for the local bees Saving money is secondary(tertiary?), though I think at this point the lines may have crossed and we are saving some money. I do it because I like good food.

                If I lived where there was more to forage, you can bet your ass I would be foraging too. Wild food is awesome.

                • bluewing@lemm.ee
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  ·
                  1 month ago

                  It’s probable, I do like to cook and do it well. Though I don’t own a single kitchen knife that costs over $10US. But, that foraging really makes a large difference in the grocery bill also. Particularly when the grocery store is a mere 100 mile round trip away.

                  I tend to think I’m somewhere in the middle of surviving and hobbyist. I grew up poor and I’m often just doing the same things I have always done since childhood because we needed to. And I continue to do a lot of it simply because of habit and I do enjoy eating everything I forage.

          • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 month ago

            One got the second on sale, and when baking cakes easier and faster with 2. But also last time I baked a cake and was making cookies. Having 2 mixers was awesome for that.

    • Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      14
      ·
      1 month ago

      There are a surprising amount of old kids that can’t even boil water for pasta. No one looking to date wants to date an old kid they need to take care of. (Some people do, but burnout is real)

      • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 month ago

        Yeah I burn the kids out of pizza and calzone for awhile when I got into pizza making. I had to try many different ways to make it so we ate it everyday for a week.

    • Gladaed@feddit.org
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 month ago

      Cooking qs a Hobby is not throwing together a Quick meal, but actually making an effort to cook. I.e. trying new things, cooking homemade pizza or even a roast.

      • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        edit-2
        1 month ago

        Exactly, I am always looking for new and exciting things to try. Also subscribe to shit ton of cooking channels on YouTube, and blogs. Also subscribe to a magazine subscription which I was exited that I could still do that. Also have a ton of cook books and always looking for more.

    • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 month ago

      When you are making everything from scratch, cooking becomes a hobby. You can make tacos and buy a salsa from the store and make some good tacos, but when you are making the salsa and thinking that you should add just a bit more of something, you are in hobby territory.

      Smoking meats is a hobby. To get dinner ready, you start at 3am and tend the firebox all day. You try different rubs, woods, and techniques to make the product of your craft the best it can be.

      Making pizza from scratch is a hobby. You make may make dozens of pizzas to just get the sauce, dough, or crust right.

      Following a recipe to make something is not a hobby unless it is just a starting point in something you wish to refine and make your own.

      • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        1 month ago

        I agree with all but the last part.

        Following a recipe can absolutely be a hobby. You can take a lot of enjoyment out of it, and it’s even useful.

        I wouldn’t say it’s an art, but it’s definitely a hobby.

      • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 month ago

        Smoking meats is a hobby. To get dinner ready, you start at 3am and tend the firebox all day. You try different rubs, woods, and techniques to make the product of your craft the best it can be.

        3am?!? What tiny little brisket are you doing at 225 to start that late? You’ve got to leave time for it to rest.

        Ok, in all seriousness this is one of my main hobbies. By that I mean I do it often and I’ve stuck with it for years while other hobbies have come and gone. I’ve got a couple of offset smokers, a drum smoker that I built, and a pellet smoker when I don’t have the time to tend the firebox but still want to smoke something.

        I said all that to say this: there are plenty of people who couldn’t give two shits about smoking meats who absolutely come ask me questions about it. Not because I’m the best, and not because they want it to be their hobby. But because I’m excited to talk about it. I also tend to bring full plates with me for my friends (and usually a couple of extras) so they get the benefit of having food.

        I’ve also had women ask if they can come hang out next time I crank up the smoker. It’s an easy way in for someone who wouldn’t normally be confident enough to approach you.

  • Lemminary@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    37
    ·
    1 month ago

    Got reading and foreign languages, woohoo!

    most attractive for women

    *groans* So much for my gay ass…

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    34
    ·
    1 month ago

    I’m not into guys but as a woman I’m surprised blacksmithing isn’t higher. How am I supposed to be your knight in shining armor if you can’t make me some shining armor?

    • gdog05@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      23
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 month ago

      It’s going to be boob armor and just leather straps to attach it over a bikini.

    • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      11
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 month ago

      I’ve forged everything from aluminum to Waspaloy, from handheld to car-sized.

      Unfortunately, I used an industrial press and lots of math. Not sexy. What respondents really mean is hipsters with an anvil. Then you’re wearing an apron with no shirt, sweating, and smashing something hard and repeatedly.

    • AA5B@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      edit-2
      1 month ago

      If you were into guys and said that on our first date, I’d be there on our second!

      I’m getting a bit tired of home automation as a hobby anyway - i don’t meet many new people inside my home. 3D printing was next on my list but then I’d have to collect WarHammer miniatures

    • merc@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 month ago

      It’s probably too rare. Like, woodworking is somewhat rare, but to do that you just need a basement or a shed or a garage or something. Blacksmithing actually requires a forge, so I’m assuming that far fewer people actually do it.

      With it being so rare, I bet that the women who don’t have any experience with a man who’s into blacksmithing don’t think to mention it, or haven’t really thought of it. And the ones who do have experience have had a mixed experience. Blacksmithing is loud and dirty so I bet the charm wears off quickly.