(I have low standards)

  • thorbot@lemmy.world
    561·
    8 months ago

    Hey are you a cigarette? cuz baby you’re subsidized as fuck and heavily marketed to children and you make me hack up a fuckin lung every time I smell you

        • cuchilloc@lemmy.worldEnglish
          798·
          8 months ago

          Literally eating ass for 14 years, never got an itchy butt. If someone has them, they would know and maybe not even want to have genital sex. The best sex happens with people you can trust.

          • deranger@sh.itjust.works
            1·
            8 months ago

            It’s more the food sanitation standards than any ass cleaning. A bidet won’t get rid of worms living in your intestines, no matter how high you dial the pressure.

            • Saik0@lemmy.saik0.comEnglish
              3·
              8 months ago

              I don’t have worms. Your statement was that nobody’s ass is that clean. Mine is clean, pressure washed every day.

      • Lmaydev@programming.dev
        2011·
        8 months ago

        Exactly. Your butt should be clean. It’s really easy to clean your butt before hand. When I see these sort of comments I assume people are just gross and can’t imagine people having clean butts.

        • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
          2169·
          8 months ago

          Well, allow a career nurse’s assistant to chime in.

          Having wiped and washed asses for not a living (seriously, the pay is bad) for twenty years, I can 100% guarantee you that it does not matter how much you wash the ass, if there are worms in the intestines, you still run the risk of sucking a few of them up while you’re hoovering the ass with your tongue.

          And, even if you hose that thing down, the risk of bacterial transfer is non zero.

          First, the ol’ brown eye is wrinkly as hell. Washing your own ass means you can’t see everything to be certain you got every last trace of fecal matter. That trace may be smaller than a pinhead, but when you’re tongue-punching the fart box, that pinhead is still going to get licked up.

          Second, it isn’t like all the bacteria in the area magically disappear. Most people get so focused on the anus itself, they don’t remember to scrub the cheeks. Maybe you’re an exception to that, I dunno. But bacteria are fast spreading little bastards. Anything that’s even remotely close will be back in under an hour.

          And, even with hot, running water and soap, you can’t guarantee 100% removal of all bacteria. Even with antimicrobial soaps and supplies, you’re washing your ass blind, and it’s wrinkly. So chances are that there are still small batches hiding in a wrinkle. A few minutes after drying off, and they’re enjoying the hot, moist goodness of a gluteal crease, having a bacteria party and reproducing like, well, bacteria.

          All of that ignores that as soon as you fart the first time, some amount of bacteria are coming out. Even without that, the anal sphincters (yes, there’s multiple) aren’t exactly airtight. Something microscopic is more than small enough to creep out.

          So, scrub away as much as you like, but anyone eating your ass is still coming in contact with some amount of intestinal content, including but not limited to, feces, e-coli, and any worm eggs or worms present.

          • Maven (famous)@lemmy.worldOP
            782·
            8 months ago

            When I posted this meme I wasn’t expecting a lesson on anal hygiene but I appreciate it. Thank you for taking the time to write this. I appreciate you.

          • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
            263·
            8 months ago

            Thank you. I don’t understand why this is such a controversial opinion. It’s not like most people use barriers when eating ass.

            • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
              25·
              8 months ago

              I mean, I do, though my wife isn’t a fan of it. Had exes that were, and I made it clear it wasn’t happening without a barrier. I had access to good latex shields cheap.

              Mind you, the job pretty much ruined any pleasure in eating ass for me. I’ll do it with a barrier, but it isn’t something I can get into. Tbh, I’m not a big fan of anal for the same reason. You wipe and wash enough of them, the erotic potential starts to fade.

              • emptiestplace@lemmy.ml
                3·
                8 months ago

                the erotic potential starts to fade.

                I’ve often wondered if this would be a problem in general for medical professionals… come home to your husband or wife and jesus fucking christ another body to take care of.

              • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
                2·
                8 months ago

                It’s an erogenous zone. There’s tons and tons of nerves down there. You’ll really never understand why that area is a pleasure center for some?

                • 1984@lemmy.today
                  11·
                  8 months ago

                  Yeah but I will never touch it on another human because it’s disgusting.

            • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
              3·
              8 months ago

              I did, in a response to someone that asked a little earlier than you. Should be able to find it fairly quickly in my history

          • Lmaydev@programming.dev
            1217·
            8 months ago

            Yeah but mouths are full of bacteria as well so I don’t see that as a good argument against.

            And who forgets to wash their cheeks? This is exactly what I was talking about.

            • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
              272·
              8 months ago

              Well, you’d be surprised how many people forget.

              As far as mouth bacteria goes, that is actually an argument against kissing. Plenty of pathogens are transferred that way. Colds, flus, mono, herpes, yeast/thrush, pretty much everything that can be transmitted by sneezes or coughs.

              However, the only pathogens that can go from mouth to ass and cause disease are the herps and warts. Neither of which can actually be destroyed by washing.

              So, you’re still at non-zero risk regardless of which ass is being eaten at any given moment, no matter how well you bathe.

              Hygiene simply isn’t the answer to whether or not to eat ass.

              Don’t get me wrong, if you like eating ass, gobble that shit up! Get your tongue in there and wreck that booty! Just don’t pretend that you can wash your ass enough to make it risk free. You could only eat ass in the shower, with running water going at all times, and your risk is still non-zero. Matter of fact, that won’t actually prevent any of the ass to mouth pathogens Herpes, warts, e-coli, and worms can absolutely transmit while in the shower with running water because as soon as you get your skin and mucous membranes in contact with their skin, you shelter the site from the water. With your tongue right on the anus, as small as the risk would be, it is still there.

              Seriously, porn actors get infections passed doing ass to mouth and eating ass. And they flush out the bowels as completely as possible. If anyone was going to be able to guarantee zero risk, it would be someone that had done multiple enemas and bathed as thoroughly ass possible. That’s still not zero-risk.

        • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
          161·
          8 months ago

          Yeah, I’ve licked my share of ass. Only one ever wasn’t nice, so just stop. Has no one ever found a vagina or penis to be unclean after making oral contact? If so, you stop oral copulation. This seems pretty obvious to me.