(I have low standards)

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    10 months ago

    Well, allow a career nurse’s assistant to chime in.

    Having wiped and washed asses for not a living (seriously, the pay is bad) for twenty years, I can 100% guarantee you that it does not matter how much you wash the ass, if there are worms in the intestines, you still run the risk of sucking a few of them up while you’re hoovering the ass with your tongue.

    And, even if you hose that thing down, the risk of bacterial transfer is non zero.

    First, the ol’ brown eye is wrinkly as hell. Washing your own ass means you can’t see everything to be certain you got every last trace of fecal matter. That trace may be smaller than a pinhead, but when you’re tongue-punching the fart box, that pinhead is still going to get licked up.

    Second, it isn’t like all the bacteria in the area magically disappear. Most people get so focused on the anus itself, they don’t remember to scrub the cheeks. Maybe you’re an exception to that, I dunno. But bacteria are fast spreading little bastards. Anything that’s even remotely close will be back in under an hour.

    And, even with hot, running water and soap, you can’t guarantee 100% removal of all bacteria. Even with antimicrobial soaps and supplies, you’re washing your ass blind, and it’s wrinkly. So chances are that there are still small batches hiding in a wrinkle. A few minutes after drying off, and they’re enjoying the hot, moist goodness of a gluteal crease, having a bacteria party and reproducing like, well, bacteria.

    All of that ignores that as soon as you fart the first time, some amount of bacteria are coming out. Even without that, the anal sphincters (yes, there’s multiple) aren’t exactly airtight. Something microscopic is more than small enough to creep out.

    So, scrub away as much as you like, but anyone eating your ass is still coming in contact with some amount of intestinal content, including but not limited to, feces, e-coli, and any worm eggs or worms present.

    • Maven (famous)@lemmy.worldOP
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      10 months ago

      When I posted this meme I wasn’t expecting a lesson on anal hygiene but I appreciate it. Thank you for taking the time to write this. I appreciate you.

    • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      10 months ago

      Thank you. I don’t understand why this is such a controversial opinion. It’s not like most people use barriers when eating ass.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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        10 months ago

        I mean, I do, though my wife isn’t a fan of it. Had exes that were, and I made it clear it wasn’t happening without a barrier. I had access to good latex shields cheap.

        Mind you, the job pretty much ruined any pleasure in eating ass for me. I’ll do it with a barrier, but it isn’t something I can get into. Tbh, I’m not a big fan of anal for the same reason. You wipe and wash enough of them, the erotic potential starts to fade.

        • emptiestplace@lemmy.ml
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          10 months ago

          the erotic potential starts to fade.

          I’ve often wondered if this would be a problem in general for medical professionals… come home to your husband or wife and jesus fucking christ another body to take care of.

        • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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          10 months ago

          It’s an erogenous zone. There’s tons and tons of nerves down there. You’ll really never understand why that area is a pleasure center for some?

          • 1984@lemmy.today
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            10 months ago

            Yeah but I will never touch it on another human because it’s disgusting.

            • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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              10 months ago

              You think it’s disgusting, which is fine. A bunch of other people don’t think it’s disgusting, which is also fine, as long as everyone consents, is safe about it, and understands the risks. Like, you know, every single risky activity that people do for fun/pleasure.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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        10 months ago

        I did, in a response to someone that asked a little earlier than you. Should be able to find it fairly quickly in my history

    • Lmaydev@programming.dev
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      10 months ago

      Yeah but mouths are full of bacteria as well so I don’t see that as a good argument against.

      And who forgets to wash their cheeks? This is exactly what I was talking about.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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        10 months ago

        Well, you’d be surprised how many people forget.

        As far as mouth bacteria goes, that is actually an argument against kissing. Plenty of pathogens are transferred that way. Colds, flus, mono, herpes, yeast/thrush, pretty much everything that can be transmitted by sneezes or coughs.

        However, the only pathogens that can go from mouth to ass and cause disease are the herps and warts. Neither of which can actually be destroyed by washing.

        So, you’re still at non-zero risk regardless of which ass is being eaten at any given moment, no matter how well you bathe.

        Hygiene simply isn’t the answer to whether or not to eat ass.

        Don’t get me wrong, if you like eating ass, gobble that shit up! Get your tongue in there and wreck that booty! Just don’t pretend that you can wash your ass enough to make it risk free. You could only eat ass in the shower, with running water going at all times, and your risk is still non-zero. Matter of fact, that won’t actually prevent any of the ass to mouth pathogens Herpes, warts, e-coli, and worms can absolutely transmit while in the shower with running water because as soon as you get your skin and mucous membranes in contact with their skin, you shelter the site from the water. With your tongue right on the anus, as small as the risk would be, it is still there.

        Seriously, porn actors get infections passed doing ass to mouth and eating ass. And they flush out the bowels as completely as possible. If anyone was going to be able to guarantee zero risk, it would be someone that had done multiple enemas and bathed as thoroughly ass possible. That’s still not zero-risk.