I’m so tired of being thrown away. I’m so tired being treated with cruelty. I’m so tired of being told that I am loved and wanted when I am so alone.
I’m so tired. I just want it to stop. I just want to give up. Love is a lie Community is a lie The only thing that’s real is pain and isolation
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Never say never
You’ve only gotta find one person that’s the same kinda odd as you, they introduce you to someone else thats stranger, then you’re well on the way to having actual community.
It might not seem like the easiest of things to do, but the more you keep trying, the more likely it is that you’ll meet them.
Community is a lie
Depends on where you live, some places are really sad. @Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone also suffered a breakup on Saturday but luckily, there was a Linux meetup in Prague on Sunday, which she found quite uplifting (she’ll post about it shortly*). Maybe you’ll find the right community not too far to visit once in a while at least… or online, for the time being. I’m rooting for you.
* Edit: see https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/48791262
Just chiming in…
Community is NOT a lie. Truly, being in a place with many like-minded, open and supportive people is really a positive transformative experience. This is just ime, but I really felt like a normal girl on a date…which was exactly what I needed at the time ❤️
Please at least try to find the right community for yourself. Online works, but irl is always better. I didn’t believe it until I actually experienced it.
Best of luck, girlie 🩷I’m currently trying to save money to move up to my sister in Seattle, so here’s to hoping once I get up there I can find some normal people
absolutely agree, online community can be awesome but being able to interact with other trans people irl, especially in a safe environment, is 1000x better :)
Yeah, it’s something hugely valuable and worth going out of your way to develop
the only girl you have to be enough for is yourself
I’m in a similar boat. I’m in my 40s and transitioned recently and under unlikely circumstances met this girl. We’re perfect for each other and she manages to break down my defences and we’re together for an amazing six months. Then without warning she breaks up with me. Love of my life.
I tried dating someone else after her but she also broke up with me without warning.
This shit gets into your nervous system, you know? I expect this sort of thing now, I have one foot out the door.
Am I supposed to let go of people, forever? Become all delusional with love, have my heart broken, try again? I’m all-or-nothing, it’s the adhd.
I truly believe also that to meet someone like the first girl I mentioned I would need to leave my country. They don’t make them like that around here, our society would never produce that kind of person.
So I’ve given up on finding someone.
I truly believe also that to meet someone like the first girl I mentioned I would need to leave my country. They don’t make them like that around here, our society would never produce that kind of person.
i completely feel the same way. but maybe it’s just something about people who travel being more exciting? so it’s not really as if her home country is full of these people …
anyways,
We’re perfect for each other and she manages to break down my defences and we’re together for an amazing six months. Then without warning she breaks up with me.
i must admit that this has happened many times in my life. first was when i was 8 years old with my mother (she fell psychologically ill and i felt like she left me for no reason), then when i was 12 with two of my best friends, then when i was 16, and now i’ve grown so … inherently opposed to the idea that one would be together with another person for the rest of one’s life because that expectation is precisely what makes it so painful if it doesn’t turn out to be true. i’m not sure what else to say to this.
Yeah, our experience is similar and I feel largely the same
The idea that you cannot find love as a trans person is simply not true. It’s not easy, and it’s harder for trans people, but it’s not impossible. I’m a trans gal happily married to a husband of eight years. I found my soulmate, so can you.
I didn’t believe in soulmates until her. Now I don’t even believe in love anymore
This your first big breakup?
She was the first person I dated that made me feel safe and didn’t make me feel used. She was the first person I dated who’s family wasn’t outright abusive to me. It’s not my first big breakup but it’s my first breakup with someone who (until now I suppose) treated me like an actual person
Yep, the more you love a person and having this be a relatively new experience is so fucking rough. Day by day, bit by bit, you’ll heal. This isn’t to diminish the pain because it will likely be on the leader board for worst experiences and pain in your life, but it should only get better from here.
I get it. I married my partner for similar reasons. But you found love once. You can find it again. No words can make the pain any easier now. But it does get better with time.
There’s gonna be more like her, and now you know how to find them.
I live in a transphobic society, and i decided to think of it in another way. Its not that i am not worthy for anyone, its that everyone is not worthy of me.
Why should i care for those people who think that i am a weird confused guy in a dress?
It does not solve the loneliness problem, but it gives me a clear reason on what the problem is. It also works as a morale boost. Its me who decides to be friend with, and those are people around me who must be worthy of my friendship.
Currently going through a breakup thats leaving me very isolated too. I’m sorry you’re going through it sis. It’s awful.
🫂
Hey, I know it feels hopeless right now, but I’m certain there are people out there who’d love you.
I mean, I found someone, and I’m not a nice person. I’m working on it, but she deserves better. Even still, she loves me.
You, on the other hand, are a very nice woman, who deserves a loving partner. I bet you’ll find someone who truly cares.
In the meantime, treat yourself nicely, okay? You’ll find a partner and a community.
as a not very nice person, you might be nicer than youre giving yourself credit for. sometimes being honest comes off as being mean to people who dont want to hear the truth, and its hard to predict when that will happen :/
It’s not really about truth; I’m just a jerk :/
Being alone is really hard. I would be single for years in between relationships, and friends tend to come and go in my life. Being there for yourself and doing all the self-care things are important, but that never fully offsets the feeling of coming home to an empty apartment every night.
I remember reading your post from last week and thinking you deserved better. I think you’re going to find people who value you and don’t throw you away this time. You might be alone for a while longer, but good things will happen and it’ll be wonderful when it does. You’re allowed to be sad and angry about everything that’s happened to you, but I hope the pain doesn’t make you give up on everything you want out of your life. I hope one day this will be the memory of a trial you overcame.
Not sure if this helps but try to be self sufficient and not depend on other people, you’re the most important person to yourself
I’m not important to anyone, let alone myself
You’ve got that the wrong way around, start with setting your priorities straight and say: i’m not important to myself, let alone to anyone else. Next step will be: I’m important to myself, but not anyone else. And so on. Baby steps
That’s the thing: You are important to yourself; the very reason you write about what you feel means that you, in fact, are important to yourself. The exact same applies to all the people here that bother to reply and the people in offline space you have met and will meet, who care about you. Don’t brush that off so easily.
i must also say that the reason why i read this post and responded to it is because i feel largely the same way. i’ve met the perfect person (soulmate, if you will) years ago, and one day i called them and asked whether i could come over and she said “that’s difficult now, because you see, i got this new boyfriend and he’s monogamous so we can’t meet anymore” ._,
i don’t care about the individual person but i care about community. it can’t be that we’re treated like this. something has to change. and discussing the single case can help understand and develop the more general strategy.
I’m sorry that person did that to you 😢
Wow wtf that’s awful
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