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MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago

Barbers HATE this one simple trick

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Barbers HATE this one simple trick

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MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago
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  • BallShapedMan@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    What the hell am I going wrong then? I’ve been bald for 3 years and I ain’t got jack shit!

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      1 year ago

      Perhaps you forgot to invest the savings into building a global e-commerce empire.

      • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        It’s getting a 200K funding from your dad that’s the real trick. He also worked for a large company making money at the time, he wasn’t trying to survive.

        • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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          1 year ago

          Plenty of people have received far more than that from their dads. There must be something else.

          • chingadera@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            It’s the baby blood. How much are you consuming?

            • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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              1 year ago

              Damn, what’s up with these unrealistic nutritional requirements

          • zloubida@sh.itjust.works
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            1 year ago

            Lack of empathy and sheer luck.

    • IndiBrony@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Mate I was balding when I was 19 and went full cue ball when I was 23. I’m 36 now. Where the fuck is my money??!

  • CaptDust@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    Steve Jobs would wear the exact same outfit, Every. Single. Day. That’s the kind of dedication needed, most people aren’t cut out for it.

    • scytale@lemmy.zip
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      1 year ago

      Dude didn’t even shower to save on water bills.

      • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        He didn’t even buy any expensive cancer medicine, he just drank smoothies.

        /uj I’m not even making this shit up, he tried to beat his cancer with regulating his diet to include various fruits and vegetables and ended up using his private jet to jump ques on multiple organ donations , because , get this, YOU CAN’T BEAT CANCER BY EATING MORE FUCKING FRUIT.

        • msage@programming.dev
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          1 year ago

          I hate his guts, but his passing was a little bit therapeutic for me.

          • lars@lemmy.sdf.org
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            1 year ago

            I wonder just how much money he would have donated to fascists by now. Rest in peace, micromanaging megalomaniac monster.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Silicon Valley turtleneck was just the Mao Suit of its era.

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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      1 year ago

      ALSO he was on a juice diet to treat his “very slow growing rare pancreating cancer”

  • sniggleboots@europe.pub
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    1 year ago

    don’t fall for it, everything you save on barber visits you spend on razors

    • lime!@feddit.nu
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      1 year ago

      i spend €8 a year on razors, how many barber visits is that?

      • buffing_lecturer@leminal.space
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        1 year ago

        what do you use?

        • lime!@feddit.nu
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          1 year ago

          safety razor, i buy a hundred pack of blades every year

        • BurntWits@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          Buy a DE safety razor. The initial razor isn’t as cheap as some other options but blades are dirt cheap. The standard recommendation for a safety razor is the Merkur 34C, though I’ve never used it. I’m currently using the Henson AL13 and it’s fantastic, plus it’s made in Canada which was the main selling point for me. My wife loves the AL13 too, she has super sensitive skin plus a lot of skin issues and she hasn’t had any problems shaving with it, where she would normally have burning and itching for days. It’s not on the cheaper end but also not luxury prices either.

          • bitwolf@sh.itjust.works
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            1 year ago

            I love my Henson also.

            I’m super lazy and don’t use shaving cream or oil. But I can easily shave after showering with just water.

            I had a one blade, and it worked great if you did the whole nine yards, but it sucked if you dont use shaving cream.

            The Henson works better with less effort than even a 5 blade imo

            • BurntWits@sh.itjust.works
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              1 year ago

              I do the same, just water. No issues from me, best razor I’ve ever owned.

          • buffing_lecturer@leminal.space
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            1 year ago

            That’s what I have. I just get irritation using it, likely a skill issue, but I do have sensitive skin.

            • bitwolf@sh.itjust.works
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              1 year ago

              While it’s possible you just need cosmetics for sensitive skin here are some things you can keep in mind.

              You don’t need to use force when shaving. It can just from its weight. I found myself subconsciously using force from my time with a 5 blade Razer.

              I also clean the Razer after each use. I remove the blade and clean the blade and parts with soapy water. (Mainly because I have OCD over things being clean, but it definitely helps with pimples cause from old skin oils being on the blade and Razer guard).

    • Baŝto@discuss.tchncs.de
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      1 year ago

      I know at least one person who thought about getting it lasered

    • manigordo@lemy.lol
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      1 year ago

      Don’t believe this guy, he is a barber!!!

  • BreadOven@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Maybe he can just try out one more haircut. Maybe to just below the chin. Preferably with a large blade falling from some height. All you need is a basket infront to catch anything that falls off.

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      But who will deliver my 2am drunk purchases next day for free? Communists? I didn’t think so.

      • BreadOven@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Robots? Communist robots? Who knows what could happen with the redistribution of wealth.

        • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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          We already have delivery robots under capitalism, I’m afraid you’ll have to make a better case than that.

  • vane@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Jeff Bezos cooking recipie.
    Not need to shave Jeff Bezos before put him in oven.
    Just stuff him like a chicken.

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      What sort of herbs and spices would you recommend?

      • vane@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Lemon & Thyme Roasted Chicken looks nice. Not sure how Jeff will apply to that recipe, maybe his meat is to old and it’s only for coq au vin.

  • dbtng@eviltoast.org
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    1 year ago

    I stopped cutting my hair when Covid closed all the barbers. Got a fukin mane now. Dunno, seems to have worked out. Still waiting for my billions tho …

  • hperrin@lemmy.ca
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    At $30 per haircut, you’d need about 8 billion haircuts skipped to save that much. Dude must cut his own hair every few milliseconds.

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      No one said it was gonna be easy.

    • hotchops@ani.social
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      1 year ago

      Bald leadership pays off.

    • bebabalula@feddit.dk
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      Two words: Compound interest 🚀

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    Jeff Bezos saved hundreds of billions of dollars by downsizing his wife.

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      Who will go down in history as one of the best traders of all time.

    • VitoRobles@lemmy.today
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      Makes sense, especially in this economy

  • Beesbeesbees@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Cheapest haircut in my town for my hair type is $75+tip. I just cut it myself now.

    • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
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      Probably not as good as being bald, but you’ll probably save at least a few billion.

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      Good news, at this rate it will only take you 3178666666.66667 haircuts to be as rich as Jeff Bezos.

  • Sundray@lemmus.org
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    1 year ago

    There’s more going on here the just the lack of hair. What secrets is he keeping under that shiny dome of his?

    We must go deeper.

    • bstix@feddit.dk
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      1 year ago

      That’s no moon.

    • macniel@feddit.org
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      1 year ago

      Hans, get ze drill!

    • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

  • Kandy4me@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Avocados.

    • NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz
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      Avocados are so expensive, that’s why Jeff turned his head into a giant avocado pit. Infinite avocado hack! ~whenever he finally decides to bury his stupid fucking head underground~

  • lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    And than there is me who is bold and still goes to the barber because the feeling of someone else cutting your bold head with a razor knife is just great. Also I have a long beard which is the main reason to go to the barber but I digress

    • Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world
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      Lol. Bold ass mf

      • lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        Demn, I ollweys confuse English vowels

        • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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          Bold faced lies.

  • SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net
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    Bullshit.

    Bezos can’t cut his own hair. He can’t see that far up his own ass even with all the mirrors in the world.

    He probably spends more to be bald than it would cost to get all new hair.

    • Baŝto@discuss.tchncs.de
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      drones are a thing

  • samus12345@sh.itjust.works
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  • moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    Is this how dougdoug rolls in the big bucks?

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