drop your childhood stories:
>be me, age 12
>hate showering more than anything
>it feels gross and i hate getting wet
>my mom starts telling me that if i don’t shower every day then i can’t eat dinner
>i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan
>let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom
>quickly wet my hair with sink
>mom buys it, i get dindin
>after a month she gets suspicious
>realize i have to step up my game
>now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap
>also run my hair under the shower so it’s dripping wet and not just moist
>she asks why i haven’t asked her to buy shampoo yet
>come up with final version of my genius plan
>i’ll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo
>then i’ll rinse off in the sink
>all while the shower runs

i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode

  • sbv@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    247
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    10 months ago

    Kids are great. Mine spend 5-10 minutes refusing to do a two minute task.

    Kind of like how I spend three or four days avoiding a ten minute phone call.

      • GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        68
        arrow-down
        10
        ·
        10 months ago

        Not the flex you think it is lol

        Seriously, get your teeth fixed. It’s such a huge impact on your quality of life, especially later in life when that damage really starts to affect your eating habits or self confidence

        • Duranie@literature.cafe
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          70
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          10 months ago

          I wouldn’t call it a flex. But sometimes openly admitting something even to strangers on the Internet can offer some ownership of the situation and start someone headed the right direction.

        • KingJalopy @lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          24
          ·
          10 months ago

          Not to mention, you could literally fucking die from a tooth infection if left untreated.

      • 7u5k3n@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        10 months ago

        Broke a tooth on a pizza crust once… 5 years later it abscessed and I had to have emergency surgery to have it removed.

        Fun times :/

          • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            6
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            10 months ago

            I’m just waiting Americans to come in and tell that actually that’s just Houston style pizza or some shit and it’s supposed to be like that (also it’s a cube, don’t worry about it)

            • Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              5
              ·
              10 months ago

              Houston lobbied for the FDA to permit the addition of glass shards to pizza dough as a bulking agent. What doesn’t kill your teeth and internal organs can only make you stronger!

      • Zoot@reddthat.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        10 months ago

        Fuck me i think I’m on my way to living the pain you had to endure… Maybe I can get another few years like you… maybe

    • qevlarr@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      34
      ·
      10 months ago

      “dinner is ready in two minutes”

      Two minutes later, dinner ready

      “but I just started a new game!”

      🙄

    • CJOtheReal@ani.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      10 months ago

      4 days… I’ve been avoiding some phone calls for straight up 3 years now, the people probably think im dead.

  • Hikermick@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    122
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    This is a right of passage. Growing up there are times when you find out that the easy way to go about doing something is the way your parents were trying to pound into your head all along

  • webghost0101@sopuli.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    105
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    If this isnt fake op may actually be on the spectrum. Washing yourself with the sink Is also called a catwash.

    been plenty of times i ve been way to overtimulated to handle a full shower its much more manageable to wash and dry hair and body parts separately one by one.

    Op learned what many autistic people do. Inventing an alternative method while masking it into the socially acceptable method.

  • Feirdro@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    57
    ·
    10 months ago

    I’m constantly amazed at the variety of possible human sensory differences.

    My problem is not spending the whole day in the shower.

  • bugs@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    45
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    Are we ignoring the fact they did this until they were 16? I mean like, if this ended when they were 12 that’d be pretty par for the course kid idiocy. But 16? Damn dude.

    • Droechai@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      17
      ·
      10 months ago

      The person might be autistic, the sensory issue of shower but being fine with sink rinse sounds a bit similar to my own sensory problems and in that case the age range wouldn’t be that off. At least the parent got the kid to clean itself so hopefully it worked enough to be hygienic

  • PatFusty@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    63
    arrow-down
    20
    ·
    10 months ago

    are you guys that bitch made that saying retarded on a 4chan sub is crossed out

    • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      49
      arrow-down
      8
      ·
      10 months ago

      Yeah ngl as someone who grew up being called retarded for being autistic I really hate how this word has become a slur.

      Like every time people create a word for a specific type of person it becomes a slur. At some point people need to just get the fuck over it.

      • LwL@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        31
        arrow-down
        4
        ·
        10 months ago

        I also just don’t get the point of censoring. I don’t have any particular feelings about the word retarded, but I’m also autistic. Do I get annoyed when people use autistic as an insult (i hope it never reaches actual slur status because I’ll never accept it as such), esp for stuff that has nothing to do with ASD symptoms at all? Sure. Does it make it better if someone crosses it out in a screenshot, or censors it in a quote? Lolno.

        • smeg@feddit.uk
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          20
          arrow-down
          6
          ·
          10 months ago

          Censoring is stupid and people self-censoring just makes me think the user is a child who’s scared of being caught saying the naughty words or is just copying what TV does as if they also have to adhere to broadcasting regulations.

          A lot of people online don’t seem to understand the difference between referencing a word and invoking it. For example, we’re in a 4chan community, you should really expect there to be very offensive language in the posts themselves, but we’re adults here and we can look at the word “retarded” without thinking that it’s OK to use as a slur ourselves.

      • Anamnesis@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        20
        arrow-down
        4
        ·
        10 months ago

        It was a slur the entire time millennials were growing up. It hasn’t not been a slur since…the 70s?

        • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          19
          arrow-down
          14
          ·
          edit-2
          10 months ago

          So was removed and the n word. The fact that I can spell out one but not the other is also kinda my point.

          I’m retarded. It takes me longer to figure things out than most. I’m not ashamed of that. In fact when I finally figure something out, I actually understand it better than the average person.

          Edit: Wow you can’t even say f a g g o t on lemmy. From a bisexual standpoint that’s fucked up

          • can@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            10 months ago

            I think maybe that’s a lemmy.world thing? I did a test and I can say it. I see removed in your comment though and if you view my test from your instance (not my sh.itjust.works link above) I suspect you won’t see it.

            Unless you’re trolling.

            • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              10 months ago

              Yeah it’s apparently specific to my instance. That’s pretty fuckin annoying. Is sh.itjust.works still federated with hexbear?

              • can@sh.itjust.works
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                edit-2
                10 months ago

                That’s an interesting question actually. We had a vote and the result was to defederate but I still sometimes see the odd comment from a user. I never see their communities though. Might be similar to what lemmy.world did to kbin.social

              • zip@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                10 months ago

                I don’t know why, but this comment caught me off guard and made me laugh. It’s even funnier if you take away the context of the rest of the thread.

                • can@sh.itjust.works
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  ·
                  10 months ago

                  Glad you enjoyed it lol. I did it as a self reply because I realized it would be a really weird reply notification to get with no context.

            • can@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              10 months ago

              I think you mean lemmy.world and that appears to be by design. Someone was going to want to fill that void but at least with lemmy we have options.

  • GM_Guy_0013@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    36
    ·
    10 months ago

    I was 75% that… I was just dumb and my parents heard the sink running at the same time and opened the door and confronted me lol.

  • leftzero@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    32
    ·
    10 months ago

    Had to do x km/day on the static bike, because fat.

    Got no time for that.

    Old static bike, with mechanical revolution counter.

    Unscrew spinning cable that feeds from the bike into the counter.

    MacGyver Lego contraption, with motor, with a pointy bit that fits where the cable would go.

    Motor goes brrr, do required km in seconds, plug cable back in, rinse and repeat;, parents never find out (I “exercised” while they were working).

    Still fat. 😞

    • Nepenthe@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      10 months ago

      This seems like some “Einstein working at the patent office” type shit to me. I would have never thought how to do that and I hope that mechanical aptitude has stuck around somehow.

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        edit-2
        10 months ago

        Yeah but Einstein actually did work. This guy’s just come up with an incredibly convoluted way to make it look like you’ve done work.

        It may have been easy to just do the exercise

        • Zeppo@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          10 months ago

          That aptitude could be repurposed to do something useful. Programmers spend hours figuring out how to automate stuff due to laziness and desire to avoid tedium.

  • thorbot@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    10 months ago

    Anything that starts with “be me” is pretty much universally idiotic, so this is no surprise.

  • UNWILLING_PARTICIPANT@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    10 months ago

    God I was a pig headed, grubby little preteen I relate to this in spirit so hard.

    Pushing boundaries by never doing exactly what you’re told: always put your own idiotic spin on it, or else the adults win!

    • WolfdadCigarette@threads.net@sh.itjust.worksOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      19
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      10 months ago

      You’re allowed to do anything anywhere. All acts are permissible, in the grand scheme. I just don’t care to. Now bothering the people who want to say it, that’s my jam.

    • Kedly@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      10 months ago

      Lemmy seems to hate that word more than reddit funnily enough. It was my first instance of learning that Tankies have a FUCKED sense of priorities

      • abraxas@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        10 months ago

        A lot of us are really hoping Lemmy doesn’t turn into tankie-voat to the extent a lot of lemmy instances are staying away from tankie instances. Being uncool with some shit (like making fun of mentally handicapped people) is part of that.

        • Kedly@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          10 months ago

          1: The vast majority of people using the word Retard are NOT maming fun of mentally handicapped people, its a word used for someone who made a very stupid decision they were perfectly mentally capable of not making, both people who are and who arent mentally handicapped are capable of being retarded.

          2: Its the tankie servers that gave me a 3 day ban for using the word, the fucked sense of priorities I was talking about was their supposed heavy support of social justice issues while simultaneously supporting/believing Russia/China have done nothing wrong

          • abraxas@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            10 months ago

            The vast majority of people using the word Retard

            I have had too many mentally challenged folk in my life, and they are offended by it. It’s something to keep in mind.

            the fucked sense of priorities… believing Russia/China have done nothing wrong

            Oh yeah, they’re idiots. Thank god they’re not smart enough to make their dystopian wet-dream happen.

            • Kedly@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              10 months ago

              Thats fair, and tbh I’d never use the term around someone with a mental disability unless they told me to (which HAS happened) in person, but on the internet where a thicker skin is required in general, or around friends I dont really see a better blunt term for stupidity, idiot has the same problem as Retard and any term that works now will eventually be tainted by the few who DO use mental health terms derogatively