Sir this is a shitpost
Don’t be strict about memes man, we are here for fun :)
it’s all fun and games until the water rises
It was just a double entendre, not a jab. I lol’d then and I’m lol’ing now friend.
Ahh I now get it hehe
Guy at my work takes hour long shits and clogs the toilet every damn time. We have a plunger. He uses it but only enough to make it look like its not clogged. Then i go in to take a piss and flush and the water starts rising. Like damn dude, eat some fiber or something…
Look for the quarter turn knob behind your toilet and turn it off when this happens
Then ignore it and shit down the garbage disposal
Just go in the sink, I always do
Bowls can usually hold one flush easy.
The key is not to flush a second time
The second flush is the killer.
Especially when that first one has gone halfway down, and in your hubris, you’re certain that the now fully charged 2nd wave will clear away the nightsoil,
queue image
look at captain tiny turds here
You ever clog up an automatic toilet at work and see the water rising beneath you and you know there’s no way to turn off the automatic flush and the moment you stand up that toilet is going flush itself and to overflow with shitwater and TP clumps?
I have.
Put a piece of toilet paper over the sensor before sitting down. Those fucking things are always too sensitive - you lean forward a few inches, the light sensor detects a change and assumes you got up; public toilet water start gurgling droplets at your exposed asshole.
Fuck everything about that. Cover the sensor, shit, wipe, stand, pants up, knock the sensor block off with your foot, leave the stall as it starts to flush.
…
Unrelated, but it’s wild how often I see people fuck up the next step, so I’m rant about handwashing anyway. So that sink handle you use to turn the water on? It’s covered with strangers’ feces. The lever to dispense the paper towel? It’s covered with strangers’ feces. The door handle to exit the bathroom? It’s covered with strangers’ feces. I don’t care thoroughly you wash your hands: if you use your sparkling clean hands to touch any surface in a public restroom, your hands are now covered in strangers’ feces.
Dispense paper towel - don’t touch it, just let it hang. Turn sink on. Wash. DON’T TURN THE SINK OFF. Grab the paper tower and pad off your hands: use that same paper towel as a barrier between your hands and the sink handle to turn the water off. Use it for the same purpose on the lever to dispense more paper towels if needed. And use it again for that same purpose to manipulate the door handle without actually coming into contact with it. Open door, throw paper towel into trash. Leave with still-sparkling-clean-hands.
But the restroom only has one of those horrible air dryers and not single use paper towels. There’s no good solution here: you’re in damage control mode. Turn the water off by nudging it with a knuckle or key or gum wrapper or whatever random bullshit you happen to have on your person. Don’t get anywhere near that disgusting air dryer - shake you hands off, wipe them on your pants, whatever, it’ll dry on its own. Bathroom door handle, your back to improvising with a piece of garbage or something, or prodding it with the tip of your pinky or w/e to minimize contact as much as possible. Once you make your escape, leave a shitty review. Literally.
Short version: after the soap and water bit, you should only be touching a wad of paper product, and only the portion of that product that hasn’t touched any of the other nasty surfaces in there.
Side-eye other people’s handwashing habits, and you’ll understand real quick why things like hepatitis and e.coli infections are as prevalent as they are.
We fuckin nasty.
I have an old house, with old plumbing. So when my toilet gets clogged. I step outside, brush away the pebbles and lift a massive concrete slab that opens up to an open sewage where I can shovel away all the paper and shit that is stuck there. Not very fancy, but it’s easy and it works every time (doesn’t happen very often, but more often now my kids get older).
I don’t know what to do with this information
Be thankful that you don’t have to shovel shit lmao.
Although this is cheaper than having to call a plumber.
Only if the blockage is conveniently at the hole
It always is
In our area it’s the oak tree roots that are usually the culprit. It would be nice to be able to shovel those out.
This is because your pipes are cracked. Sewer lines are always moist and full of… Fertilizer. So roots will find any excuse to grow into them. Unfortunately the only foolproof fix is to replace the pipes.
Technically, if you’re trying to maximize the amount of solid waste that can be carried, the best drainage pipes would actually be oval or arch shaped. A flatter bottom means the pipe can reliably carry more solids with less liquid. Because moving water doesn’t need to be deep to push something along. Round pipes collect a majority of the water in the bottom of the circumference, while the sides stay fairly dry. Meaning larger solids can easily wedge over or stick to the sides, while relatively deep water rushes below it. Flattening the bottom of the pipe allows the rushing water to spread out more, meaning it can more reliably carry solids that would get stuck in a round pipe.
But you don’t want hard corners with something like a rectangular pipe, because the corners would concentrate pressure and be more prone to breaking. And the flat pipe walls would be prone to bending or flexing, (or just outright breaking, if your pipe material is brittle). So an oval (or arch shaped) pipe is a good combination of the two, with a relatively flat bottom and a smooth curve to evenly distribute force. So hard blockages (especially now that environmental regulations have implemented things like maximum gallons-per-flush limits) would be less common with oval pipes.
And if you look at things like weather drains under bridges, that is often exactly what they use. In those cases, the engineers are usually worried about maximizing fluid throughput without drastically changing the height of something like a bridge. Because if you need a pipe with a specific capacity for adequate weather drainage, your only real option is to make the pipe big enough to fit that capacity. But if you have something like a bridge, increasing the circumference of a round pipe could make the bridge laughably tall (and prohitively expensive). And you can’t just dig the bottom lower, because water only flows downhill. So if you lowered your drain pipe, you’d need to dig out everything downstream of that bridge too. Which is obviously not feasible for most projects. So instead of increasing the entire circumference, they just make the drain wider while keeping the height the same. And congrats, now you have designed the modern oval storm drain:
And the modern arch-shaped storm drain:
Wait what? You don’t even have a septic tank? It all just pours right into the ground?!
There is a storage well, I wouldn’t call it “sceptic tank”, but I’m not sure what the definition exactly is. But it’s only temporary storage. From there, it’s connected to the town’s regular sewage system.
There used to be a gravel pit, where the sewage would literally sink into the ground. But that’s way before my time. Last summer I was digging a hole for a trampolime and found the gravel pit. That was not fun to dig through. It wasn’t dirty or anything, just hard work.
If the outlet to the sewer is at the top of the well it’s a septic tank. The plumber ought to have bypassed it and sent your shit straight to the sewer.
If the outlet to the sewer is at the bottom, it’s an inspection well. You can use it to inspect your shit flow, but it’s not really supposed to store anything.
Seriously though, if the well is full it’s because something is blocked after the well, f.i. the town sewer being full from a flood or something. Unless of course the well outlet is blocked itself.
If the well is empty but your shitter is overflowing, it means that that the blockage is before the well, f.i. rats or roots breaking your pipes underneath your house. That’s the kind of inspection you can do with an inspection well.
In all cases you need to call the plumber instead of stirring the well like a shit cauldron.
Forget about pressure washer attachments and snakes and stuff. Don’t waste your money on that. Use your money on calling the plumber instead. They can easily flush out your entire system and identity the problem cheaper than anything you can buy in be hardware store.
sometimes shocking to learn youre more full of shit than you thought
My problem with the bathroom at the moment:
The cockroaches sometimes have a literal circlejerk going on when I go in to shit, and then they scatter, but one winds up on the roll of toilet paper so I wash my ass in the sink
It’s whatever
Also how my cat looks at the water upon every flush
More like hello again my old friend
Hmmm… I don’t understand :)
Someone’s been watching Along Came Polly (2004).
