There is a frustratingly high percentage of posts on here of quite common experiences that are claimed as “autistic” experiences.
ADHD internet circles are lousy with this, too. “The [NUERODIVERGENT] URGE TO EAT FOOD AND BREATHE OXYGEN, ANYONE ELSE?”
Angryhumanoid The autistic experience of being told the thing that happens to you and that feels especially bad or frustrating is normal, so STFU about it. As if finding shit everyone around you sees as normal insufferable isn’t part of the autistic experience.
Are you seriously upset that nonautistic people have a similar negative experience as autistic people? What a wild thing to be angry about, autism or not
lostcarcosan@lemmy.today No. I’m not upset at all. Why do you choose to read my comment as I were? I thumbed my nose at someone who dripped in with nothing to contribute other than being a jerkass prick, but that’s different from being upset.
Are you supporting the little whiny one?
@kichae@wanderingadventure.party the autistic experience of using a behavioral condition as an excuse to be an asshole. And to be clear I’m not saying you’re an asshole because you allegedly have autism, I’m saying you’re just a normal run of the mill asshole who wants to feel special about it.
Asshole behavior that one might use autism as an excuse for in this post: not knowing when to enter a conversation. What a jerk.
Angryhumanoid Why? What have I done that is assholeish, other than point out that there might be a reason these posts keep coming up?
Whining about them seems like awfully fucking dickhead behaviour, though.
Ok Captain Trying-to-hard-to-pick-a-fight, I’ll try to spell it out for you. Do you claim that people being repeatedly interrupted in conversation with others only happens to autistic people, or happens more frequently to autistic people, or that it happening is “harder” on an autistic person than it is on neurotypicals? If A, prove it. If B, prove it. If C, prove it.
> Do you claim that people being repeatedly interrupted in conversation with others only happens to autistic people
No. And neither does OOP.
> or happens more frequently to autistic people
No. And neither does OOP.
> or that it happening is “harder” on an autistic person than it is on neurotypicals
No. And neither does OOP.
Now, did you jump into this thread just to Well, akshually, or did you have a real point that’s of interest to the rest of the class? Because my issue here is that you seem to want to make the discussion about your disruptive smug fuckery, and think having that pointed out in any way makes the pointer an asshole.
Which makes you a colossal dickhead. And a troll.
Go back to harassing the goats on your bridge.
Well since you just blatantly lied about what was said in the original post I will no longer engage with you. I know you were kinda hoping I’d say something like that so you could try to play the “Well that’s not exactly what they said” card but you’ll have to play that card on someone else.
And then the subject changed. And you didn’t follow and still don’t follow because you are still busy with the conversation simulator ik your head about what you wanted to say in the first place.
And when you catch up with reality the subject changed again and you are lost.
And you still want to say what you were going to say.
That’s when you say “jumping back a minute to subject X for a bit,” then say what you wanted to say. If it spurs further conversation on that subject, great. Otherwise you still leave an opportunity for the conversation to go back to where it had already gone.
Don’t worry, that happens when the person you’re talking to never knows when to shut the hell up so other people can get a word in.
I work with people like this. They’re not interested in a conversation, only talking at you.
Everyone in my engineering department is neurospicy and we keep having quick conversations where we interrupt each other. It’s glorious. It’s like when somebody knocks all the crap off the table to point at a heist map, only for a second and third person to do the same thing.
Ooh, I don’t know about that. Maybe if everyone’s on the same page. ND can’t help but interrupt, but really dislike being interrupted. I gotta finish my thought sometimes.
I love those people. I get to just sit there and absorb some interesting information about someone else’s life with no expectation of contributing anything myself.
Sometimes I just breach and keep talking hoping the other person stops.
The most awkward is when they don’t so when you finish your sentence, no one heard, but you also didn’t hear them and everyone is now doing that “concentrated on listening looking confused” face, but focusing on the other person. That’s when you know you fucked up.
every fucking time.
I don’t even think this is strictly a neurodivergent issue. Some people are just rude as fuck and will talk over you long after you’ve started “your turn” to talk in the conversation. I had a former coworker like that and he was so frustrating to converse with because he never let anyone get a comment in. It was like talking to a television.
It’s fun to forcefully take your turn and find out how long you both keep talking, as an experiment.
It becomes pretty clear where the problem lies when this happens in all group conversations. There’s no way everyone you interact with is rude like that.
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This is also a neurotypical feeling when trying to carry on a conversation with multiple people. Especially if they’re our ADHD friends. Goodness, that becomes so overwhelming.
find a neurolospicy friend group. Immediately. Go to where you think you’ll will want to hang out, find a neurolospicy group, and force you way in. best thing I’ve ever done in my life.
This post was triggering, then made me happy that I don’t have to deal with that bullshit anymore. At least with the people I care about.
Genuinely doesn’t help. At least IME, and I assume each group is different. It really just depends on the people and how self-absorbed they are. Neurospicy people can be just as rude and self-obsessed as neurotypicals
However, being on the receiving end of this -a ton- as well as the defeating glory that is starting to say something only to be interrupted and have your conversation partners just entirely stop listening to you, never to resume… being a recipient of that all too often has taught me to always pivot back to or focus on whomever was trying to say something, to let them get their damned thought out, not just trailing it off into the void.
iamnorrealtakeyourmeds@lemmy.world > find a neurolospicy friend group. Immediately. Go to where you think you’ll will want to hang out, find a neurolospicy group, and force you way in. best thing I’ve ever done in my life.
It should be noted, this trick doesn’t work if the group is all extroverted ADHD-havers.
Or introverted! My family of ADHDers will not only interrupt over last word, but sometimes two people will complete their full sentences at the same time. We’re all on top of it. No worries if you didn’t finish your thought because we changed topics, just say the sentence when there’s a nice lull 40 minutes later with no introduction at all and we’re all back in. No one ever feels interrupted or has hurt feelings, we just are glad of each other’s company and love to get together. All the husbands are really sensitive about it and take it very personally, but my brother just brought in a long term gf who fits right in! She also interrupts with the most interesting things! We love her!
My husband hates being interrupted, but if i don’t jump in, he will talk for 15 minutes or longer with no breaks about something whether I’m interested or not. So he rambles and I interrupt and we both think the other has poor awareness. We love long car drives because there’s plenty of time for both
Me (ADHD) and one of the autistic guys at work are a damn disaster trying to converse sometimes. He barrels on for so long with a train of thought that I start daydreaming or get distracted by a phrase and tune him out. Then i snap to reality and realize the conversation is over and I’ve barely heard most of what he’s said. It’s… troublesome. I sometimes have to record our meetings or take notes and make a summary to put it all together.
But with others that are not neurotypical, usually also ADHD, it almost seems like we can read each other’s thoughts with how we can rapidly jump around various subjects with barely any context and be on the exact same page. Strange how that works.
The ADHD/autism duo follows the comedic archetype of whiteface and red-nose, and gave rise to Mythbusters as well as my own marriage.
My kid got the ADHD end of the stick though, so now I’m outnumbered. It’s Savage.
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🤠
I try for few times and then just give up after wards even if people ask if I was saying something( which is rare), i just say that i forgot.
I dont like cutting people off.
That’s interesting, from a conversational analysis point of view there are literally little measurable breaks in all conversations where anyone can try to take the turn.
Does that mean you lot can’t hear them?
Or is it a matter of not having the timing to hit them, o maybe that other people (verbally)wrestle the turn from you?
not literally in all conversations
I found that out the hard way with my new manager. he literally doesn’t give people a chance and just moves on. it’s infuriating
There are ways to keep the turn, of course, that’s why people say uuuh and ummm. Sounds like a frustrating manager 🙄
Yes
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Right, that sounds pretty normal - though frustrating. Conversational behaviour is also cultural, of course.
I struggle here. I did a fair amount of speaking and voice work in the past, which trained me to minimize the use of filler words. Since that means I go silent if I need to think a moment, I have to battle back those who are listening not to understand, but for silence so they can begin. It makes work meetings, especially calls without video, very frustrating.
Been there, done that, got called “egotistical” for it.
My personal take is this used to happen to me all the time because I am actually actively listening to the entire content of what the other person is saying, then trying to formulate the next thing to say based on that. Do that and you’ll constantly miss your turn at conversation. Just vibe with whatever is being said and then respond to just the last sentence or last few words you heard right before the person stopped talking. Neurotypical people pretty rarely hear/remember much of exactly what someone else had said, they “feel” it internally as the words come at them, pick up a keyword or two from the last few words spoken, and carry on from there. Start doing that and you’ll respond in time with their pace.
In my experience, that’s how you start saying a lot of offensive stuff because you only considered the literal meaning of words coming out of your mouth.
Find friends who appreciate your input. I struggle with this too, but I refuse to put effort into sneaking into a conversation whose participants won’t open it to me. My friends are mostly NT but they can just tell when I’ve got something I want to say.
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