Afatwa, or religious decree, issued by senior Iranian clerics calling for the assassination of U.S. President Donald Trump has attracted online funding worth tens of millions of dollars, reports say.
That’s it. We found the most 21st century thing ever:
A GoFundMe for a political assassination.
I saw a billboard (in California) for a gofundme for Texas disaster relief. That feels peak 2025 to me.
Scams all the way down.
And those people have been trained to hate California(ns).
I think Maher is right when it come to how people in shithole states are taught to hate California, when the reality is that they are jealous of Cali.
That’s probably at least partly right, but the most smugly arrogant American that isn’t the Mango Mussolini himself is perhaps not the best messenger for a “they hate me 'cause they ain’t me” message 😄
And you know what, I desperately want my (tax) money to go to supporting them in their disaster.
Things will get wild once someone invents a decentralized assassination market.
Plot twist their CIA version is thinking about a coup… or just as simple a bribe…
I seem to recall reading one of the divisive things the cipherpunks on their mailing list discussion was about untraceable digital money (before Bitcoin) and the thought experiment about just this very kind of thing (minus the siren server like GoFundMe, because why would you want that in the mix if you were doing this kind of thing).
Not that anyone set it up, and the many proposals around digital cash did not really gain traction until 2009 or so…but this was from the 90s.
link? :p
Removed by mod
Kinda figured it would be removed. Which is kind of funny since it’s mentioned right there in the article.
I was curious what it would be like. Looks like a pretty normal fundraiser site. Probably wasn’t worth getting put on another NSA list tho
You mean to tell me that you’re not using a private dns server or at least a vpn?
Just raw-dogging that ethernet, eh?
It just feels better, okay?
I wonder how many VPNs are compromised, TBH.
Here’s a breakdown of major VPN companies, who owns who and what, and who’s independent and who isn’t.
…yeah, according to a vpn company
I get that, I get that, but their data does check out.
Where do I donate?
Did you know that it’s illegal to say, “I wish someone would kill the president of the united states”?
Im not saying it, im just letting you know that it’s illegal. Like a public service announcement.
“Fun” fact. Trevor “Fell from his Balcony” and died shortly after this video.
What a weird coincidence.
Edit: Apparently it was a decade later. I was confused.
12 years later is “shortly after”?
No. I was just confused. The first time I saw this was a few months before he died and I guess I didn’t realize it was from years earlier. My bad.
For some reason I thought this was a Matt Walsh bit. Wkuk and ucb occupy a similar area of my brain.
They are pretty similar in a lot of ways. Like how Matt Walsh walks around with a gallon of meth on most days, and he probably has kids tied to his radiator in his basement so he can grape them. Just uncanny really.
I got so many questions I’m not sure I want the answers to.
Two all time classics, although I feel like you missed cat hunting
🤦
Edit to add;I never claimed to be terribly bright.
That’s another good one. Lol
Will no one rid us of this turbulent president?
But I thought murica was the pinnacle of free speech? 😮
Okay but what about investing in the Fatwa ETF?
You can, however, wish bad fortune and ill luck befall the president. Its the “I want a person to do a thing” problem because it sounds like you could looking for somebody to hire.
When I see a cheeto on the floor, there is always a demon voice in my head telling me to stomp it with my foot
“Freedom of speech” mfs when it’s not about literal speech.
In the US.
Most countries wouldn’t care at all.
What are the stretch goals? I mean, we have a whole slew of shitbags the world would be better off without.
“The above sum ($40,286, 867) will be received by the people who have committed themselves to any freedman who will carry out the sentence of justice.”
($45,286, 867)
“A photo of the deceased will be published.”
($50,286, 867)
“A recording of their last words will be published.”
($60,286, 867)
“Ol’ Pete will get the Russian resignation treatment.”
($65,286, 867)
“Marco will get a special tea to drink.”
Is Rupert Murdoch still alive?
He’s the new Kissinger. Death has been trying to claw machine him since that SSS Kissinger pull.
“Only the good die young”
I believe so, unfortunately.
interestingly, $35 millions came from a single donation in $MELANIA memecoins
Your comment made me actually open the article. Sadly your comment seems to be fake. I want to believe!!
The comment is real. I see it too.
It’s right there!damn, it actually is! 🤣
Where can I donate?
Bad idea if you live in a country with extradition treaty with the US.
You could end up in gitmo for “providing material support to terrorist activity”, because that is technically what you are doing, money is material support.
I can’t tell you what to do, but like if Iran actually manage to do it, it would be the best excuse to get Iran obliterated from the map, and most NATO countries will probably help with the invasion of Iran under Article 5, since that’s effectively like a 9/11 v2 (not in number of deaths, but in terms of being able to justify a foreign war).
Iran performing the assassination is 100x worse than, say that nutjob in 2024 doing it. If trump die from that kid’s gunshot, there wouldn’t be much happening, but if Iran did it? In this tense political climate where 1/3 of the US population are in a cult? Can you even imagine all the lynchings against Muslims, Arabs, and anyone who “looks middle eastern”?
Any soldiers or national guard that was bordering on “hmm, is this actually legal”, will now not even question their orders. Being anti-trump in the aftermath of this hypothetical assassination would be treated as almost as bad as supporting al-qaeda.
Its not a good idea, IMO.
Why article 5? Is it not only valid if a country suffers an unprovoked attack? It will be hard to argue that bombing a country is not a provocation.
Because the US has intervened in the middle east for a long time before 9/11 and it was actuallt said to be bin laden’s motivation to attack the US. Look at what happened after 9/11; article 5 was triggered. They didn’t seem to think the US interventions in the middle east were a “provocation”.
Article 5 and Catch 22, which in this case would be formulated as, “They can do anything that we can’t stop them from doing.” One could make that argument, but who’d be listening?
If Trump were assassinated, I would celebrate, and donate to the assassin’s defense fund. I don’t care if MAGA Nazis consider me a terrorist. Fuck them and their treasonous, corrupt ignorance.
You can get thrown in a concentration camp because your skin’s too dark and you weren’t carrying your ID, even if you’re a US citizen.
That’s one of the side effects about tossing out the rule of law. If merely protesting or having a certain meme on your phone is dangerous, then might as well go all in.
As he lived for creating chaos, his own death would make him happy. The man who destroyed civilization has a certain ring, doesn’t it?
Perhaps move to Iran first, then you can really appreciate the greatness of that society and their great struggle against evil.
A temporary alliance in a common goal is fine. Whatever Iran is doing it doesn’t deserve the Israel/US bombing and war crimes.
clearly you never played modern warfare 2 https://youtu.be/a8ZGee3mzbE
Has there ever been an assassination that was motivated by a public bounty? And did the assassin successfully collect?
I’m not asking whether there have been any previous similar bounties—I’m asking whether any of them were the primary incentive for a successful assassination.
The attempt against Rushdie failed, and the attacker claims to have had religious rather than financial motivations (and doesn’t seem to have planned to escape to collect payment in any case).
If they got away with it, we won’t have heard about it.
That’s why I’m specifically wondering about the public aspect of the bounty—it presupposes that the assassin will be publicly known and able to conduct financial transactions afterward, and that the sponsor will be able to openly make good on their promise.
One way they could do it:
- assassin writes down their plan, including time, place, method, and payment address
- assassin hashes plan, then time-stamps and publishes the hash
- assassination takes place
- assassin publishes plantext plan and link to hash, proving beforehand knowledge
- sponsor pays assassin without even having to know who it is
The sponsor would have to be able to publicly demonstrate that the assassin was paid, though—otherwise they could claim to have paid the bounty while keeping the money, and the assassin couldn‘t protest without exposing their identity.
But they could publish another hash.
Since the payment address has been published, anyone can verify whether or not it’s received any payments.
i kinda wanna read his book now
rush die
I upvoted, but only to raise awareness of this important issue. /s
Curb your Enthusiasm did a whole season about this. Should be relatively straightforward for him to get them to call it off as long as he follows their blueprint.
this is how I knew what a fatwa is
I’m picturing Taco dressing up as “Buck Dancer” and arguing over hotel staff about the proper handling of baked goods and whether they are “freshly baked” by the in-house chef, or just Pepperidge Farm products.
🤣
“So how did you solve world hunger?” “First we had a go fund me to assassinate DT. Met our goal. Then we fulfilled our end of the bargain.” “Go on…” “The we defunded ICE, and solved world hunger. 120B goes a long way.”
I see they got my $7
I don’t think making him a martyr would be a good idea. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t shed a tear if he passed with the worst agony I can imagine. But making him a martyr would make his agenda immortal.
Martyrs tend to be symbols to a cause. Trump and maga don’t have much ideology it’s more a cult of personality. Those tend to go away when the central figure dies.
I understand what you mean. But think of Hitler. Obviously his agenda did not die with him. But imagine all the numbnuts if he was assasinated on the peak of his power.
And to be fair, the easiest way to tell someone doesnt belong in society is when they start spouting hitlers views. A little litmus test, as a treat
thats exactly what he did. He killed himself before he could get captured because videos of him in detention and beaten senseless would diminish his legacy. Your example is prove of the other guy being right
Also, Hitler didn’t invent racism or antisemitism. His agenda didn’t die with him not because he was such a powerful figure, but because he was harnessing prejudices that have existed before apes even started to walk upright.
Why didn’t that happen with Bobby Kennedy and his aspirations for social justice?
I’m unconvinced they can find a replacement for him that touches the nerve of all those hateful loons at once. Who are they going to have? JD Vance and his eyeliner?
The next election they’d play the “Do it for Him” card, but I can’t see them queuing round the block to vote for anyone else. They voted for Donald because even in their politically sheltered lives, they’d heard of him and seen him on TV. As somebody who watched Boris Johnson rise to power, it really is as fucking dumb as that.
Worst take in the thread. Martyr or not his philosophy and his followers is “unbridled self interest” aka “fuck you, I got mine.” Martyrdom is antethetical to the cause.
Somebody offing him would set a good example that being a corrupt, fascist leader is not a good way to get riches or a long healthy life.
Am I saying anyone should do something? No.
I disagree. The people who want to make him a Martyr will make him a Martyr no matter what. The people who know what he has done will understand that him being killed doesn’t make any of that better.
See the way all the other Fascists in the world before him were handled.
I don’t think you are wrong. But I think an assassination would be the icing on the idiot cake.
He needs to take the adolf way out.
Nah, it needs to be supremely conspiracy proof. Too many people will believe it was assassination of it could have possibly been assassination.
He’s an old unhealthy man, albeit with the best possible health care. His passing is moderately likely in an average day from health issues.
He also completely seems the type to leave a come-to-jesus meeting with his doctor about how he absolutely has to change his diet and start exercising and still hit the McDonald’s drive thru on the way home, so with a little luck, the best possible medical care won’t matter nearly as much as it could.
No doubt, but a cardiac event will have the best possible imaginable intervention. Might not be enough, but if anyone can pull through on the back of medical capability, it’s him
Further I think Trump is now the least of our problems with the Trump administration. I fear JD would be even worse.
During the Biden term, the worst people built plans around a trump return to office and the relatively more strong execution this time versus last time is from those around him, not himself so much.
The martyr window would have been more during the campaign leading up to the election. That window is closed now.
Alright, i am a very vocal opponent to Cryptocurrency, but i do see that there might be some cases where they are useful.
Kill Hitler fundraisers are unironically one of supposed ancap mechanisms against tyranny.
I just love how reality keeps proving me right.
(Would prefer a heaven where it doesn’t, of course)
