Checkmate!
Put it by the deli counter for the trifecta.
Dolphins? Couches? Potato salad? Does this guy just go around sticking his dick in stuff?
I saw that there reports he didn’t fuck a couch, then someone shared an interview where he said he did… Did Republicans even try to dig shit on this guy!!!
They had to retract that report, because they could not verify that he’s not a sectional predator.
He’s a disgusting pillowphile!
Oh no, if he and the MyPillow guy meet there will be a reckoning
I heard him referred to as a homosectional, and i like to think Kamala approved that message.
Where’s that interview??
He didn’t fuck the couch, to completion
Of course the couch didn’t cum, it’s a fucking couch. What’s wrong with you people?!
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but maybe it’s just you who can’t bring the couch to completion…?
I’ll have you know I find Wet Ass Cushion to be incredibly offensive. I’ve interacted with many of them in my day and never have I met a cushion that wasn’t artificially wet. The couch orgasm is a myth.
Waaaaaait there’s video of this? Also, what’s all this about potato salad‽
Found out it was faked after but still have the searching dolphin porn to lean on xD
“If this gonna be that kinda party, imma stick my dick in the mashed potatoes”
B boys makin wit da freak freak
sample was originally from Sanford and son?
Okay what’s the potato salad thing?
He’s just an ambulatory version of the “Instructions Unclear” meme.
I read his book. It read about like he just shoved his dick in a typewriter and flopped it around for a few hundred pages.
Back in my day, that would have been impossible without some kind of penile injury as you probably would have needed to slam that thang pretty good on every key. People now-a-days are spoiled because their keyboards are so sensitive. You could even sneeze and type something from a microphone type writer.
Is this one real?
I don’t use twitter so can’t verify, but here is the apparent post people are making fun of him over. The claim is that the words “woman” and “dolphin” being bolded are signs that he searched for those terms.
Hmmmmm. That’s uh… Sure I’ll take it.
If yes, would it make him more relatable or even more disgusting?
And would you be surprised if it were real?
No
Ah, the elusive inclusive no.
Well he does give off The Deep vibes
More like he gives off Tek-knight vibes.
He’ll fuck anything with a hole, like a couch.
Being tricked into downloading 6 gigs of dolphin porn still remains one of my favorite 4chan pranks.
What happens behind closed doors between a man, a dolphin, a couch, several firearms, and a copy of Mein Kampf is personal and private.
Gay people? Oh no, that’s not a thing. Maybe if men had the smooth, supple feel of Corinthian leather, I would understand.
Damn, he’s the real world version of The Deep.
Does nobody remember dolphinsex.org?
The people behind that aren’t running for VP
Unless… Did he run that site?
Yes, I know for a fact that he ran that site. Tell your friends.
Holy shit! That’s crazy, I will.
What
It was a thing
Ol’ Jamie V does, it seems.
Print photos of different couches and mail them to any or all of these locations:
https://www.vance.senate.gov/office-locations/
Don’t forget to add little love notes. e.g., “Thinking of you 💋”
Hi! I’m Troy Mclure. Wow, this one really takes me back.
Going Deeper
I heard that he allegedly ran the website dolphinsex.org for a short while.
Shady Vance just keeps getting shadier.
Sometimes a bottle nosed dolphin is just a bottle nosed dolphin. Sometimes it’s a big gray dildo fish.
Is he sabotaging Trump on purpose? Is JD Vance running the best psy-op in human history?
Almost certainly not, but the conjecture fits the data shockingly well.
cOuCh fUcKeR
