The ones who beat the US at every part of the space race until the moon landing? Those Soviets?

It’s also a sex thing!

What the fuck? If I was the manager I’d pay this guy twice. That’s exactly the experience I want if I go to a place named after that specific part of the movie.

What do I do if I want to reach a high area in my roof, like ten feet above me? Hose extensions are floppy.

How did you write this? Are you a wizard?

Curve

Three words: Farting Corpse Buddy!

Poor bastard probably has no idea why he never gets people coming back for an upgrade.

Accidental, but made far more likely by risky behaviour due to mental issues. It’s a grey area.

A disappointment equivalent to Piefed.

Also… Business has a history. Money has a history. If you want to make money and keep it, learning what happens before a crash or what sort of business practices tend to get you dragged out and hanged from a tree might be kinda helpful.

Yeah. Used to be like that. What a shitty way to live. Denying any need to change by claiming superior intelligence over the people suggesting change, even though you’re desperately unhappy.

now

Six months ago, a pelican knocked my laptop off my standing desk and into his feeding bucket, destroying a $2,400 MacBook.

That pelican’s name is Gerald.

Gerald is also the reason I got promoted.

Here’s what nobody in the career space is talking about: the documented correlation between having a large seabird physically present in your home office and the kind of executive presence that closes deals.

I didn’t invent this. I just had the audacity to live it.

Yes, Gerald eats fish. A lot of fish. But here’s where the sisterhood showed up for me in ways I never expected.

When I started posting Gerald on my professional social channels, women from three continents began arriving at my door with mackerel. Frozen sardines.

One woman drove four hours with a cooler of fresh herring just to run her fingers along Gerald’s magnificent throat pouch.

She also referred me to a client worth more than Gerald’s entire annual fish budget, which, by the way, is now essentially zero.

We are collectively funding each other’s pelican ecosystems, and we are thriving.

The women who touch Gerald leave different. More grounded. Ready to build the table, not just find a seat at it. One of them is now CFO of a regional insurance company.

She credits the pouch.

Gerald destroyed my laptop and handed me my career. The fish pays for itself. The sisters make sure of it. Own your pelican, ladies.

#PelicanLeadership #GeraldChanged Everything #FishIsFreeSisterhood #WomenWhoHavePelicans #BreakingBarriersWithBeaks #HomeOfficePelican #TouchThePouch #CareerGrowth #CollectivePelicanPower #cringebot3000