I had two job interviews today. If I get either one of them it’d be better pay for better hours than the job I have now.
I fucking crushed both interviews, and y’know what?
Being heartbroken over a girl that threw me away is fucking stupid I’m confident in my odds of getting either job and I’m just going to keep winning I’ve been back on my head meds, back on my hormones I’m just gonna keep getting myself right and she’s gonna see that I’m a great woman and a catch while she just keeps bedrotting and she’s gonna see she fucked up letting me go
I’ve worked so hard on getting back to being myself since we moved to this shit hole town in April and all she’s done is bedrot and I’m not letting it hold me back anymore
Could we avoid the misogyny please?
IMO it hits different when it comes from another woman.
That being said insulting your ex because they broke up with you, and for no other reason, DOES seem in bad taste.
We fundamentally disagree, misogyny is misogyny regardless of the gender of the person doing it.
Edit: All it does is prop up bigotry and patriarchy, and says it’s okay for women to be misogynistic (when used negatively) for some reason?
We dunno, none have ever explained it in a way we can agree with, just “it’s okay because it’s a woman doing it.” which, why?
You’re not wrong, and like I said the way it was used was gross.
That being said I also think there is room for me to refer to my friends and myself as bad bitches or whatever.
Isn’t that use (bad bitches) positive though?
Yeah, and honestly the more I re-read the post the more I agree with ya.
I have called myself a dumb bitch, or others a silly bitch. But mostly in the same way others would use fuck.
This post doesn’t piss me off as much as a man doing it but it still has the ick.
I’m not the biggest fan of the word myself, but I don’t personally feel that solely use of the term itself by a woman constitutes a violation of the rules against bigotry. It’s pretty common parlance and while again I do not particularly like it, and even I personally feel it is too connected with gender based violence against women, I think it is enough of a grey area to be comfortably outside any kind of rule breaking. Add in the fact that OP is herself a woman and, yeah.
I’m thinking more on this, but for now am leaving this up as is.
We don’t really see how this makes it okay. Isn’t it just propping up patriarchy through misogyny but somehow pretending it is okay because it’s a woman doing it? We completely understand if it’s reclaimed positively, but negatively isn’t reclaiming, it’s just continuing the violence, surely?
I do not necessarily feel that it’s use in this context is rule breaking. If it was being used to denigrate women as a whole, and not to express some anger at one woman in particular, that would be different.
Her status as a woman herself does not make the action harmless, just less harmful owing to her own lack of power in the patriarchal power structure.
What we’re getting from this is, uhh, beings can be mysoginstic against those whom we hate?
Brown beings using slurs against brown beings that they hate?
We don’t fight fire with fire, all the time.
The word is interesting. It’s in a grey area, a word used to degrade, but also to empower. Appie here in the 3rd world, the b-word is a slur. We’ve seen men using it against each other, guess what? It’s an insult. For example:
CW: Mysoginy
“Stop being a little bitch!” Where “bitch” means an annoying, most often, woman.
So there’s a whole word to describe annoying women, and it’s used most of the time to discrimniate against them. If that doesn’t make the word mysognistic, then wow, we would be very horrified to interact with any with the thought that we can be bigoted against each other.
Very rarely do we see beings using the “word” for themselve
and again, this isn’t an issue of OP calling themselves that word, but it’s directed at another woman, which seems to carry the negative meaning.
Just equate this to another slur.
CW: Queerphobic Slur
Is it okay to call those whom we hate sissies, faggots, and what not? NO. We used these slurs as examples, because they are used against us
CW: Mysoginy
OP is using this double-edged word, to degrade OP’s ex.
That’s the negative usage of the word. Degradation.
Tl;dr: We are beings of color, it means our skin is not “the default white”. And we would never, use a slur/(offensive word used against us) against those whom we hate. Nor have we seen them do that to us.
brownphonbia, racism
We have never called or been called “camelrider” or whatever the fuck they insult beings in Arab countries these days.
Please read our pronouns before addressing us
Paragraph #2 in the link below is useful reading. We’re all going to have different opinions on the reclamation of slurs, and that’s okay, but it’s important to remember that gatekeeping this specific word has historically been a form of transmisogyny, so for some, telling us we shouldn’t use the word may touch a nerve, because we face a disproportionate burden to avoid the word and greater social consequences for using it than a cis woman would in the same context. Likewise, I’m sorry this community touched a nerve for you by using it here.
I’m really glad your transfem community exists here for people who want to avoid that word, but not everyone will want to, and it’s good that this community exists as well for that reason. No one did anything wrong; we just all have different comfort zones. Maybe both perspectives can exist harmoniously by having separate spaces with discrete rules for those who need them?
https://redlib.catsarch.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/1b0s1tk/transmisogyny/
Its not the word, it’s the usage.
It is completely reasonable to object to a slur being used as a slur. The context of this post has it used as an insult. That usage is that of a slur, regardless of who says it.
Reclaiming is usage that removes the negative intent behind the slur. I have no objections to any slur used as a term of endearment by the in group, and I have no objections to the reenacting example from your post, but that’s a very different context.
Though I understand and sympathize with what she’s going through, it is not reclaiming the slur to use the slur as a slur to slur someone the she doesn’t like as she did in the title.
I get what you mean. Thank you for this reply. The context certainly does change things for better or worse. Different usages of the word certainly have different amounts of leeway we can give, and I misapplied the term “reclaiming” there.
I think reenacting the word and punching down with the word are on two ends of a spectrum but still related, in that while no one’s perfect all the same, trans women in the same context can sometimes be judged more harshly than a cis woman who says the same thing. I’m not trying to say that we get a license to use slurs and be awful as much as questioning whether a cis person would have likewise been called out for misogyny in the same situation as opposed to simply a woman saying a mean thing in haste she shouldn’t have. And yet, people do have a right to be hurt and object, and I’m sorry if I came off as shutting down those reasonable concerns. Folks really came down on the OP in this case in a way that pulled me in two different directions, honestly.
Ultimately, I was trying to find common ground instead of start more fires. I’m sorry if my comment had the opposite effect. I didn’t mean to imply no one could object or be hurt by how the word was used. I could have been more constructive here by ignoring the infighting and addressing the OP’s concerns directly.
Again, thank you for being upfront and challenging me on this, Hildegard. Your perspective is valued. 🙂
I didn’t mean to start fires either, it’s just I often see the term reclaiming misused.
I wasn’t personally offended by the post. The term is in common enough usage it didn’t read as a slur to me until comments brought it to my attention.
I agree there is some nuance here. On the scale of slurs it’s pretty squarely on the low end as far as I am concerned. If that statement is acceptable in this community, I’d much rather it be due to the context of the situation rather than some logic that concludes a slur is not a slur. Cruel words are sometimes spoken in anger. Tough times are rarely kind and eloquent times. There is some room for course language on ocasion.
You did bring up some very good points around that word, and how its usage is more or less acceptable based on gender, and the transphobia that can reveal. I value your perspective too! 🙂
Lmfao be so fr
wut? Bitch is a misogynistic word, why are you using it?
Please get a life
Did you have a point to make or are you just going to reply in thought terminating clichés?
Do you actually have something productive to say or do you just like to tone police women on the Internet
[Sarcasm] Sorry we, women adjacent beings, don’t want to see misogyny in spaces supposedly for us.
Removed by mod
While we understand that you seem going through a pretty rough period, that doesn’t make it an execuse to be as rude and mean as you are to everymamy around you.
We can relate to many things that you’re going through. We’re transgender femme adjacents in a 3rd world country, yet, we try not to let our woes control us, and blow steam at those who don’t deserve it.
Of the air’s intention was not to shame you, or minimize your post. Cele only saw the usage of the word “bitch”, which is a word, that feels like a two-edged sword. It’s used by women to empower, and by bigots to degrade. So it stands in a weird, limbo area.
All of this to say, there was no need for you to be as aggressive as you were to Of the Air. You could’ve seen the comment, went “Ugh, I’m way too annoyed to start a discussion about language” and let it be. Yet, you blew off steam at the first slightest inconvienence.
and hey, your ex dumping ya was fucked up. We’re glad to see you rising like a pitchfork placed on the ground, slamming in the face of the first bigot that may so much as dare look at you wrongly. Stay resilent, and we urge you think more about the language and words that we use
Please read our pronouns before addressing us
This is a false problem.
We can actually care about and do both.
Also, nice ableism in calling us ‘stupid’. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, we’re done here, you obviously just hate everyone and everymany and refuse to do anything to improve the situation.
🙄