I had two job interviews today. If I get either one of them it’d be better pay for better hours than the job I have now.
I fucking crushed both interviews, and y’know what?
Being heartbroken over a girl that threw me away is fucking stupid I’m confident in my odds of getting either job and I’m just going to keep winning I’ve been back on my head meds, back on my hormones I’m just gonna keep getting myself right and she’s gonna see that I’m a great woman and a catch while she just keeps bedrotting and she’s gonna see she fucked up letting me go
I’ve worked so hard on getting back to being myself since we moved to this shit hole town in April and all she’s done is bedrot and I’m not letting it hold me back anymore
Paragraph #2 in the link below is useful reading. We’re all going to have different opinions on the reclamation of slurs, and that’s okay, but it’s important to remember that gatekeeping this specific word has historically been a form of transmisogyny, so for some, telling us we shouldn’t use the word may touch a nerve, because we face a disproportionate burden to avoid the word and greater social consequences for using it than a cis woman would in the same context. Likewise, I’m sorry this community touched a nerve for you by using it here.
I’m really glad your transfem community exists here for people who want to avoid that word, but not everyone will want to, and it’s good that this community exists as well for that reason. No one did anything wrong; we just all have different comfort zones. Maybe both perspectives can exist harmoniously by having separate spaces with discrete rules for those who need them?
https://redlib.catsarch.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/1b0s1tk/transmisogyny/
Its not the word, it’s the usage.
It is completely reasonable to object to a slur being used as a slur. The context of this post has it used as an insult. That usage is that of a slur, regardless of who says it.
Reclaiming is usage that removes the negative intent behind the slur. I have no objections to any slur used as a term of endearment by the in group, and I have no objections to the reenacting example from your post, but that’s a very different context.
Though I understand and sympathize with what she’s going through, it is not reclaiming the slur to use the slur as a slur to slur someone the she doesn’t like as she did in the title.
I get what you mean. Thank you for this reply. The context certainly does change things for better or worse. Different usages of the word certainly have different amounts of leeway we can give, and I misapplied the term “reclaiming” there.
I think reenacting the word and punching down with the word are on two ends of a spectrum but still related, in that while no one’s perfect all the same, trans women in the same context can sometimes be judged more harshly than a cis woman who says the same thing. I’m not trying to say that we get a license to use slurs and be awful as much as questioning whether a cis person would have likewise been called out for misogyny in the same situation as opposed to simply a woman saying a mean thing in haste she shouldn’t have. And yet, people do have a right to be hurt and object, and I’m sorry if I came off as shutting down those reasonable concerns. Folks really came down on the OP in this case in a way that pulled me in two different directions, honestly.
Ultimately, I was trying to find common ground instead of start more fires. I’m sorry if my comment had the opposite effect. I didn’t mean to imply no one could object or be hurt by how the word was used. I could have been more constructive here by ignoring the infighting and addressing the OP’s concerns directly.
Again, thank you for being upfront and challenging me on this, Hildegard. Your perspective is valued. 🙂
I didn’t mean to start fires either, it’s just I often see the term reclaiming misused.
I wasn’t personally offended by the post. The term is in common enough usage it didn’t read as a slur to me until comments brought it to my attention.
I agree there is some nuance here. On the scale of slurs it’s pretty squarely on the low end as far as I am concerned. If that statement is acceptable in this community, I’d much rather it be due to the context of the situation rather than some logic that concludes a slur is not a slur. Cruel words are sometimes spoken in anger. Tough times are rarely kind and eloquent times. There is some room for course language on ocasion.
You did bring up some very good points around that word, and how its usage is more or less acceptable based on gender, and the transphobia that can reveal. I value your perspective too! 🙂