• 🦄🦄🦄@feddit.org
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    20 days ago

    #womeninmalefields is describing common situations and phrases that women experience and turning them upside down by switching genders.

    The analogy to this one would be a man telling a surgeon to surgically tighten a woman’s vagina after giving birth. This is a common and disgusting joke.

      • valkyre09@lemmy.world
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        19 days ago

        After the mother gives birth to a healthy baby boy, the father leans to the doctor and whispers “how long until we can have sex?”. The doctor replies, “I clock off at 3.”

      • Luminocta@lemmy.world
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        19 days ago

        I worked for a man that thought it would be a funny thing to say soon after the delivery.

        Look, I’m a guy. I laughed, until his (now ex) said that he actually said it.

        I mean come on. It’s funny as a joke, you don’t ACTUALLY say that to a delivery nurse, my god.

            • lud@lemm.ee
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              19 days ago

              That’s very generalising though.

              Personally, I try to avoid that whenever possible.

              • Kalysta@lemm.ee
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                19 days ago

                When this was invented, the majority of doctors were men.

                It’s not generalizing if it’s true.

              • 🦄🦄🦄@feddit.org
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                19 days ago

                Good on you.

                It’s not generalising tho, these women describe situations they have experienced.

                  • 🦄🦄🦄@feddit.org
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                    19 days ago

                    What are you even talking about? This post is about a specific example of misogyny in which a man is the perpetrator. You asked “who comes up with this?” and the answer is: men.

              • EmptySlime@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                19 days ago

                Huh, and here all the men I know have never even the slightest bit upset about broad generalizing statements about men because they are secure in the knowledge that the statement doesn’t apply to them… Sounds like a skill issue tbh.

                • Croquette@sh.itjust.works
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                  19 days ago

                  This statement doesn’t apply to me. Still, when I am constantly lumped in the same category as rapists, sexual predators and any or all other demeaning terms, it does start to affect my self-esteem and make me doubt myself.

                  Just like when you look at social medias and all the women are perfect. You know it’s a tuned photo with a lot of work behind it. But you see it all the time : on your phone, TV and ads in general. And it does affect women, even if the beauty standards are irrealist, and humans come in all size and forms.

                  This is the same principle in the two cases.

                  • EmptySlime@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                    19 days ago

                    The difference is that those photos are presented as if the unrealistic thing is desirable. As if it is something that everyone should want to be. While you’re hearing “I wish men would stop being creepy” and acting like they’re directly calling you personally a creep.

                    I’m an AMAB nonbinary person, basically every time a woman sees me I can see her instinctively preparing for me to be that exact guy because I look like if Bigfoot dressed as Bob from Bob’s Burgers. It sends my dysphoria through the roof every time. But even I can manage not to get bent out of shape when women call out men being toxic because I know I’m not guilty of the things they’re calling out.

                    So I say again. Sounds like a skill issue

                • gmtom@lemmy.world
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                  18 days ago

                  So what is your point?

                  What is your smug, dismissive attitude achieving?

                  I know this statement doesn’t apply to me, but it still hurts me. Just the same as any generalisation.

                  I’m sure you’ll say something about privilege, and I somewhat agree, but someone having privilege does not make it okay to completely dismiss them and group them in with shitty people for things out of their control.

                  And again, rhetoric like this is one of the reason that young men are moving away from progressives into the hands of the alt-right. If you want things to get better and want men to be better, the first step is to not be an asshole to them for no reason.

                  • EmptySlime@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                    18 days ago

                    Oh no I get grouped in with shitty people all the time. I’m AMAB and I look very much like a man. I am acutely aware of how I’m seen. I see every single woman that sees me and instinctively recoils in anticipation of me being exactly that kind of man. It sends my dysphoria through the roof to be seen and perceived that way every single second of every single day. I deal with that pain all the time.

                    But do you know what I don’t do? I don’t turn that around on women who are validly pointing out saying they hate when men do something messed up or creepy to women and tell them that they need to be more considerate of MY feelings on the matter. I don’t tell them that they need to stop being an asshole to me if they want me to care about their issues.

      • FindME@lemmy.myserv.one
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        18 days ago

        I had a doctor straight-faced tell an entire class of college students about it, and how it was a good thing. This was within the last 15 years. I would bet it is still far more common we’d want to imagine.

    • SeekPie@lemm.ee
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      20 days ago

      Thanks for explaining it, wouldn’t have understood it otherwise.