• kameecoding@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    This reminds me of the Heard v Depp case, on the two X chromosomes subreddit there was this long ass comment from someone who experienced abuse and said she wasn’t the “perfect victim” because she fought back and hurt her abuser back and how because of this it was harder to get away from her abuser.

    And when I asked how does she know that in Heard v Depp case it isn’t Depp who is the imperfect victim? Because he had multiple partners testifying to his character of being a kind man etc, while Heard had the opposite (AFAIK).

    All I got was silence and downvotes.

      • Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        The mens rights sub originally was a good place for dudes who were getting taken to the cleaners in divorce court, losing full custody of the kids just because the mom wanted em, and even an instance iirc of the wife taking the dog only to have em put down later.

        Then it slowly mutated into a watered down version of incels

        • Hacksaw@lemmy.ca
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          2 days ago

          I mean that’s bound to happen. If the main thing that draws you to a space is that you’re all being abused by women in one way or another, then it’s probably going to end up being a place to hate on women and therefore attract women haters like incels.

          Men’s lib should be a space where we fight the injustices imposed on men by the dominant hierarchy. Like the fact that we’re assumed to be worse at caring for our kids than their mothers and that this assumption disadvantages us in court. Or the fact we’re assumed to be abusers and that being a victim somehow makes us be seen as lesser men and automatically deserving of the abuse we get (like in this comic). Or the fact that we’re assumed to BE/BE PART OF the dominant hierarchy and therefore can’t be victims of it, even though we can lose our “manlyness” through something as simple or human as crying when we’re sad.

          Only with this mindset can we channel our victimisation into positive action rather than towards hatred of women.

      • doingthestuff@lemy.lol
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        21 hours ago

        I once got a -28xx on Reddit for a comment I still don’t think was even interesting. From what I understand, of their scoring algorithm at the time, that means I had a lot more downvotes than that.

    • LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Have you heard of battered woman syndrome? Do you understand the court case that lead to it?

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francine_Hughes

      The reason is that most men are physically stronger than most women and also we live in a heteropatriarchy that caters to men first. There was clearly mutual abuse by both partners, and both Amber and Johnny are raging narcissists- but Johnny has a bad past too, including a questionable relationship with Winona Ryder when she was young and extreme drug use that made him erratic. It’s impossible to know who was abusing who or what was actually happening.

      But I will say the leading expert on domestic violence, Lundy Bancroft, asserts that women are almost never the abuse initiator in relationships. Most serial killers, most violent offenders, are men. So yeah, women will typically blame the man because it’s usually men.

      • Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org
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        18 hours ago

        Most serial killers, most violent offenders, are men.

        In the US, violent offenders are also disproportionately performed by black folk (including being an actual majority for homicide and robbery). I suspect you don’t think we should make assumptions about black folks being violent though? I doubt you think when someone is killed we should simply assume the killer is black because the killer is usually black?

        And note, I’m not arguing that we should - I’m using it as an illustrative point of why this line of thinking is bullshit.

        • LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world
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          16 hours ago

          The trend for violence is not only worldwide, it’s also over thousands of years. Especially if we include war.

          The reason black men are disproportionately charged in the US with crimes is due to white supremacy, including within the police force, which has been information in the public knowledge since BLM protests so stop playing stupid.