You may find you struggle with step 1.
I’ve been trying to do step one for years. But my bastard relatives refuse to die, and also refuse to be rich. Selfish I call it.
And then my siblings also think they’re entitled to some of the non-existent inheritance. So many selfish people in my family…
Zoos tend to struggle with Step 7 and they have far better conditions than a beat up converted freighter
Also step 2. $4MM is not enough to run the kind of vessel needed to go to the poles for the length of time needed.
Antarctica is generally colder than the Arctic. They would almost certainly be stuck along the coastlines of Antarctica like the penguins are, since the interior average temperatures rival the coldest ones ever recorded in the Arctic. They should be fine there, but then that means they have a very limited distribution and that penguins and seals consequently are always forced to share an environment with the polar bears. Because they’re not used to the polar bears, their populations would likely be destroyed, leaving the polar bears to starve. Unlike in the Arctic, too, they would have nowhere to retreat if their food supply ran out. Outward is hundreds of kilometers of ocean, and inward is hundreds of kilometers of unsurvivable desert.
they would have nowhere to retreat if their food supply ran out.
Um. Hello? There are scientists there.
Which means scientific papers, then tourists, then garbage and a symbiotic relationship, then the eventual domestication of polar bears.
Not, you know, the international scientific community treating scientists like cats.“Return Eenie or we feed another physicist to the bears. We know you fuckers took him.”
Always wondered what it would have been like had we domesticated these things
These limbs were adapted for efficient long-distance pacing, rather than the explosive acceleration and high speed pursuits
Terrifying
Idk, I think polar bears would domesticate the scientists before scientists domesticated the polar bears.
Etymologists crying and shaking right now at the thought of Antarctica (meaning: without bears) gaining the one animal it’s not supposed to have
I read that as entomologist for a second and was really confused
Figured it had something to do with fleas
This comment sent me down a rabbit hole. I had no idea the arctic is called that because it was the Greek for ‘of the bear’ because they used Ursa Major to guide them north. And the the arctic is the most northerly point.
Fucking wild. Mind blown.
Wdf how are we just learning this?! Can’t they teach it with the continent names??
And it’s a hilarious coincidence that it resulted in the southern most point being Antarctica, as it just happens to be the only continent without bears.
I’m not saying this will definitely reverse the Earth’s polarity and doom all life on earth, but do we really want to take that chance?!
Looks at earth
Well, it probably won’t get much worse, and if it does it’ll at least be interesting to see.
I’d say that if all you want to do is scare the shit out of some scientists in Antarctica you probably only need 1 polar bear
or a dog
Nah let’s really confuse them. A lion.
nah, it’d freeze to death too fast
Antarctica compatible fursuit of a lion
Spray-paint a polar bear orange and stick a mane on it. Confusing and scary.
Yup, and there’s a lot less risk of complete disruption to the normal food chain. One polar bear will eventually die, a dozen will probably take over.
deleted by creator
And once they eat all the penguins and starve
St. Matthew Island with polar bears instead of reindeer.
I’ve recently learned that bears absolutely love cocaine. I’m sure that’s relevant here somehow.
Thats why polar bears have white coats
I thought they had white coats because they take their methamphetamine production lab very seriously.
Pretty sure they are just rolling around in cocaine all day, hence why they are the most feared of the bears. Constantly off their head
They’re actually clear coats with hollow fur, which means they always have a way to consume said cocaine. They’ve basically evolved to be addicts.
I saw that documentary! That is boundary pushing science
4 million buy a freight boat
I work in supply chain but not a complete expert but the smallest cheapest working order freight ship I can find for sale is this one for $6MM, doesn’t include licensing, crew, insurance and the dreyage/accessorial on live polar bears is gonna cost you big
https://petronav.net/container-ships-for-sale/container-adilia-i-ex-e-r-auckland
Does it really need to be a big container ship?
Didn’t people transport stuff in smaller boats back in the day?
(You still make a valid point though)
Idk, polar bears are really heavy, and it takes a long time to get from one end of the planet to the other, so you want something secure to store the bears in. That means a bigger ship that can handle angry bears hurling themselves at the walls of their cage, because they will wake up during the journey, and they won’t be happy.
Just do it while they’re hibernating 4head
For some reason, just imagining this is fucking hilarious. OOP on a shipping container being mutinied by dozens of feral pissed of polar bears
they did specify freight! although getting The Cutty Sark back in working order is probably even more costly.
I think the penguins would learn to just swim away, and the bears would starve since they would need to expend a lot of effort for a small bird versus the calorie-dense seals they’re used to.
To be fair, some penguins aren’t exactly small
That is a king penguin, not even the tallest subspecies (emperors are taller), but what you’re looking at is an optical illusion because the penguin is much closer to the camera than the humans.
Damn, well I’m leaving it up anyways.
The Emperor protects
plenty of polar bears eat salmon
Polar or grizzly bears… not sure salmon roams the north regions without rivers.
Polar bears can fish (in this video they’re catching char, which is closely related to salmon), they’re just not used to it.
If they can eat fish, they can probably figure out penguins as well, which honestly aren’t too different from seals (slow on land, fast in the water).
the north regions have rivers, and bluberrys; both of which are natural food sources.
So I’m hearing that we move some seals first…
They’d need to ambush the flock when they were on land, ensuring they could corner several before the penguins make it to water
Would work until the penguin pop. is too small and then they start dying out again
So then part of the program needs to be penguin Viagra to keep the numbers up
Crude dark matter oil should do the job.
Penguin spanish fly.
I’m almost mad at myself for not making this joke originally
Listen to this. How about we get a big boat, put the surviving penguins inside and ship them to the Artic!
Ahh the good old switcheroo
This reminds me of a friend that once proposed that if we really wanted to mess with Europe we could release a few packs of coyotes
Then you have a penguin population crisis
Tbf we already have that due to glacier melt
Don’t penguins already have to survive orcas?
Yeah, in the water. Giving them another apex predator on land won’t make them happy, I’m sure.
I was really hoping OP wanted to drop the polar bears on a tropical island. For science.
only if you can find some weird magnetic anomaly and plane crash survivors
They’d probably just turn back into grizzlies eventually.
It depends on the goal. For example it’d work if you want to render every penguin species endangered or worse.
Neal Stephenson book, Termination Shock.
Sounds reasonable.
