CBS News, hosting vice presidential candidates JD Vance and Tim Walz for the general election campaign’s third debate next week, says it will be up to the politicians — not the moderators — to check the facts of their opponents.
So what the fuck do we need CBS for again?
Colbert?
Hey, let’s get Stephen to do the live fact-checking!
Have two mods. Late Night Steven and Colbert Report Steven.
Fair and Unbalanced
Shut up and take my money
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He did a live show after the Trump-Harris debate. Perhaps he’ll do another!
Yep, he’s planning on doing a live show right after the VP debate. He announced it on a recent episode.
Oh, how splendid!
But they aren’t doing any fact checking
If CBS suddenly disappeared, Colbert could go anywhere he wants I bet.
No bet. Colbert would be juuuuust fine.
Heaven forbid journalists do… you know, their jobs?
We Report, You Decide
We report what we want you to decide
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Vance isn’t Trump. He’s a wet noodle who can barely work his way through a sentence. Walz is an adorable teddy bear with claws.
It’ll be the cutest bloodbath we’ve ever seen, and we’ll all laugh about how the old guy from Minnesota made the dude wearing eyeliner get scared of giving trans school kids free lunches.
Edit: I can’t wait!
He’s ok with pushing outright lies, and it’s hard to keep up with all the right wing lies that are floating around. I hope Walz just starts calling them the liars they are instead of avoiding ‘name calling’.
Vance isn’t much of a public speaker, and, up against a debate opponent like Walz (who is a great public speaker), Vance is pretty much fucked. He won’t have much of a defense but to pivot when confronted, and Walz is both clever and persistent. He’s also extremely charming, which Vance extremely isn’t, lol.
You’re making me look forward to it. Kinda. Let’s say I’m looking forward to the instant replays by the Daily Show.
Well, it’ll probably be more policy-focused than anything with Trump, which is always just a clown show because Trump only knows how to be a clown. Vance will, at least, try to debate Walz, but it will quickly just be a timed trading of canned campaign jabs. How each plays it will be interesting to see, and - personally - I think it will be fascinating for 3 reasons:
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again, Vance’s relative terribleness vs Walz’s very goodness will be awesome to watch. Walz will kick Vance’s ass easily
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more than that, this debate will be far more substantive than the last debate, which was, basically, Kamala baiting Trump into crazy-shouting one crazy lie after another while Kamala just laughed and laughed.
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Tim Walz is, quite possibly, the most lovable guy to ever exist. JD Vance is, quite possibly, a new form of venerial disease.
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Vance is like a Dollar Store version of Trump. He looks like the same product, he tells the same lies, but the parts aren’t all there. He’s a grifter but he’s not in the same league as The Donald, he even looks like he’s in pain when he lies.
The fucked up part is that, since you can’t get cheaper than Trump, the knockoff is actually more expensive. Worse, Vance is also (somehow), dumber, poorer, less-popular, and more insecure. He’s also - unbelievably- worse with interactions with the public and with public speaking.
And we’re about to find out how bad he is at debate against a real politician.
Vance at least looks like an actual human, the Toupee’s human disguise was created by a sentient pile of excrement that only once glanced at a human from a distance.
Vance isn’t Trump. He’s a wet noodle who can barely work his way through a sentence.
But what is Vance?
He only isn’t things. The absence of morals and personality. Pure lack.
Senator Vance (void)
But what is Vance?
Cold pee
But cold pee at least served a useful purpose at one time.
It’ll be the cutest bloodbath we’ve ever seen
When you wrestle the pig, you both get muddy but only the pig likes it.
They both look pretty happy to me.
Helps when the pig is both extremely popular already, and the pig’s opponent is… lol… well, JD Vance lmao
Seriously, the guy lost a debate against the opening staff at a donut shop. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Fucking cowards. We saw how quickly fascists crumble when you fact check them. Why won’t CBS want to do that?
Because they want to help the fascist.
Something about ten dudes at a diner table with an eleventh who is a nazi.
Bunch of weak ass bullshit.
CBS not doing their job.
The mainstream medias job is to safeguard corporate America; not the population.
Ya this is a dumb move by CBS because it compromises the legitimacy of the debate… But I know Tim Walz is going to wipe the floor with this couch fucker.
It compromises the legitimacy of CBS. How can they be okay with blatant lies being aspired on its network?
*CBS is announcing that it will allow the Couchfucker to Gish Gallop.
Fixed that title for you.
Yeah, and a side effect of refuting gosh gallop, if you even can, is that you end up wasting your time on the floor instead of discussing your points.
Remember when journalism was a respected profession?
No, I genuinely do not.
I know we had Watergate, but before that we had Hearst, and a bunch of other rich assholes using their money to spread propaganda, Murdoch isn’t remotely creative, we just got complacent.
I really think most ‘journalist’ are “news influencers”
Reagan, the original Ghoul
CBS is owned by Paramount Global who splits their “donations” between parties (heavier toward Democrats). Are we tired of being governed by corporations, yet?
Waltz: Vance I heard you fuck couches for fun.
Vance: NO I DON’T
Waltz: That’s not proof. If you’re gonna fact check me you gotta provide proof! Clearly you fucked couches!
Walz would be way more subtle than that.
hey. So glad you got off the damn couch.
And
Oh. Meant to ask you. How was the tour of Ashley Furniture? Find any attractive couches?
Edit:
didja get any good recipes from RFK?
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I’m not looking forward to the day that Colorado loses Kyle but I am certainly looking forward to the day that he gets to moderate a presidential debate. Kyle is amazing.
candy asses
Cowards. Fucking incompetent cowards.
Oh sure, tell the guy who basically said “We’ll make up whatever facts we need to to get our point across!” when the whole pet eating debacle was debunked that he won’t be fact checked… What could go wrong!?
Facts? Integrity? What the hell are you talking about? We need a ratings bump.
CBS executives, probably.
Anyway Walz is gonna eat Vance’s face for dinner and then shit down his throat hole. I look forward to catching the highlights reel online.
Walz just has to be himself and he will vastly outclass any pathetic attempts at appearing charismatic that Vance will be trying to conjure up.
Then Vance will repeat Trump’s bullshit but more coherent and Walz will talk actual policy, probably appearing like the well-meaning teacher talking to the problem kid in class.
