No it’s not.

We need to seriously, as a society, treats this level of greed as a serious, in patient, mental illness that requires treatment.

1. “As a society,” could be placed at the beginning of the sentence instead of as an interjection, which eliminates the need for one comma.
2. The verbs are conjugated incorrectly; “treats” should be in the infinitive, since “need” is the active verb.
3. “In patient” should be hyphenated.
4. “In patient” should not have a comma after it, since it is the last adjective in a list. “Mental” is not an adjective in this instance, because it is part of the noun.
5. Using “seriously” and “serious” in the same sentence is repetitive and unnecessary.
6. “That requires treatment” is redundant, as OP already said “treat " and “in-patient,” which implies “that requires treatment.” Personally, to clear things up I would uncouple"in-patient” from “serious mental illness,” which takes care of several of these issues.
7. If you ever see four commas in a non-compound sentence, it’s almost certainly done incorrectly. At the very least, the structure could probably be cleaned up.

Here’s what the sentence could look like:

As a society, we need to diagnose this level of greed as a serious mental illness requiring in-patient care.

See? Cleaned it right up. Now it’s down to fewer words and fewer commas while conveying the exact same information.

Remember folks: “when in doubt, leave it out.”