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That front baby is pretty ripped for a baby
It’s common in some iconography to depict children as miniature adults.
Specifically as adults with abs on their back.
Those muscles are kinda ridiculous even for adults …
Medieval artists were pretty shitty at depicting children.
What do you think it feels like to wake up pickled?
It’s been awhile since college, but usually it just meant you got to delay the headache until later in the day
Sour
The opposite of what it’s like to chew 5 gum
Ask Rick
In case you’re wondering, he’s the patron saint of:
children
coopers
travelers
sailors
fishermen
merchants
broadcasters
the falsely accused
repentant thieves
brewers
pharmacists
archers
pawnbrokers
unmarried people
prostitutes
the Royal School of Church Music
students in various cities and countries around Europe
the Hellenic Navy
the Russian NavyThis man got more titles than a LinkedIn Influencer
brewers
Shoutout to !homebrewing@sopuli.xyz
broadcasters
How? He died long before any broadcast technology was even thought possible. You can just plop a saint’s name on something they had no idea even exists?
A Broadcaster would be a town Crier.
It’s not necromancy if they were pickled.
More salt-sory, really.
You could say those kids were cured.
Pack it up lads, the internet is complete
Thanks for this. It never occurred to me to look into St. Nicolas, even though it’s my name, and he’s way more awesome than I though.
A patron of prostitues, hell yeah. I guess that explains my Mark of Slaneesh scarification.
Hey Morty… buuurp I… I am ressurecting pickled children Morty! I have now pickled children! I AM PICKLED NECROMANCER RIIIIICK!!!
Also why do the children look like weird little buff men? Is that an effect of the pickling?
Well, clerics do get Resurrection at spell level what, five? Maybe seven?
Revivify at 5th, Raise Dead at 9th, Resurrection at 13th, and True Resurrection at 17th. The different spells have their own requirements. Revivify has to be cast within one minute and can’t restore missing limbs, for example. True Resurrection doesn’t even require a body, just speak their name.
just speak their name
“John Smith.”
please hold
loading
loading
loading
framerate drops to 2 fps
10000 identical johns smith appear clipping into each other
physics engine goes haywire and the room turns into a mess of spinning viscera
Necromancy is fine with Christians when their God does it, but evil when other gods do it. The Abrahamic god is the god that conquers all other gods, stealing their power for himself and turning them into his servants. Then the asshole encourages his followers to turn against each other so they have more motivation to keep him central to their lives.
Gods in general aren’t really necessary anymore, but they’re kind of like meta organisms, quasi living things. They fights back against threats to their own existence, encouraging humanity to remain subservient instead of recognizing our true place as the highest authority.
This sounds like Christianity in a D&D or Warhammer setting. Sounds pretty metal. You okay though?
I’m fine, but my description isn’t that far off from how Abrahamic religions took over the globe. People used to have patron gods that they followed or favored, but it wasn’t as common to deny the existence of other gods until Christianity popularized it, demanding that only God exists. Other gods were retconned into angels, demons, or saints. Gods often had aspects of reality they controlled, but the Abrahamic God became the master of everything, with all former gods only acting to fulfill God’s will. Zeus or Thor were once gods that controlled lightning, but Christians asserted that “It was me, Dio!”
Explicit organizations and informal cultures behave like living organisms at large scales. They evolve, adapt, and reproduce in the minds of people. Humans made ideas as tools for aiding our survival, but the ideas and organizations themselves often use people like tools to ensure their own existence. That’s the wild thing about these meta organisms: They don’t physically exist in reality, but it’s helpful to think of them that way because they’re mechanically similar to real lifeforms. The ideas that don’t adapt or prove useful die out, while the ones that stay useful or adapt to new environments survive. It was never a marketplace of ideas, but an ecosystem of ideas.
The Abrahamic god is the god that conquers all other gods, stealing their power for himself and turning them into his servants.
So… The Borg?
What is the mission of a missionary if not “your culture will adapt to service us”
Always remember to be careful when canning pickled baby. You don’t want it to go bad and ruin all that work.
He’s like the puppet in that “give gifts give life” minigame
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“Pickled Children” is a sick band name.
“Resurrected Pickled Children” is an even sicker band name.
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