(shamelessly stolen from an imgur dump)

  • zeppo@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’m going to take the free gravel and 7 inch teleportation. The gravel is a valuable commodity which can be sold. 7 inches is enough to get through any doorway.

    • The Dark Lord ☑️@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      7 inches is enough to get you mostly through a doorway.

      Doors are about 1.5 inches thick. The average chest depth of an American male is 11.5 inches.

      Teleporting yourself 7 inches forward would put a door 7 inches from your front and 3 inches from your back. You would have to only be 5.5 inches deep in order to make it entirely through the doorway without merging with the door.

      • zeppo@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        It depends how exactly it works. If it’s the very front of my body moves forward 7 inches, yeah, that’s not great. I was hoping for measuring from the center or something. What happens if i overlap something, anyway? Nuclear fusion?

        • Decoy321@lemmy.worldM
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          1 year ago

          It wouldn’t matter what part of your body moves if your whole body retains its shape (as in, doesn’t stretch or deform in any way). If you stay the same shape, you moving 7" means the whole of you (front, middle, and back) moving 7".

          If your body stretched during teleport, then you’ll probably have other problems aside of the displacement issue.

          • TheMauveAvenger@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            It matters what part of the body the measurement is tied to for start and finish. If it has to be the same point on the body then it’s a problem, but if the anchor point can change then there are greater possibilities.

            I can put my hand on the door and extend my foot backwards. If my hand is the anchor point to start and my foot is the anchor point to end, then certain parts of my body have teleported more than 7", but in the aggregate at least one part of my whole body is always within a 7" distance from anchor to anchor. That would mean I could teleport my whole body through any solid item that is less than 7" thick.

            • zeppo@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Thanks, this helps. I had to think about it for a while. I think what I envisioned was “teleport me past any obstacle less than 7 inches”.

            • Gnome Kat@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              1 year ago

              The more important question is, what is the cool down? If you can just spam it really fast you can essentially move at (7inchs/teleport) * (teleports/second)… if you can spam that multiple times a second you could actually move really fast, even fly.

            • Decoy321@lemmy.worldM
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              1 year ago

              Fair, but at that point you’re just arbitrarily redefining the rule of “teleport 7” away" to cheat this thought experiment.

              • wildginger@lemmy.myserv.one
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                1 year ago

                Pre teleport hand position is A.

                Post teleport foot position is B.

                The distance between A and B is 7 inches.

                “You” teleport 7 inches, but if “you” is a relative concept thats so far undefined (are your clothes “you”? The contents of your stomach? The air in your lungs? What chemicals dissolved in your blood count as “you”?), and A and B are both “you,” technically youve teleported 7 inches while sort of fudging the actual distance.

                As with all magic, the interpretation of the rules is more important than the rules themselves.

    • SadTrain@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Too bad your clothes stay on the other side. I guess you can try to teleport out of county lockup too

      • mosiacmango@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        Cops dont even show up to actual crimes. Aint no one grabbing the naked dude blipping in and out of reality as they pass through walls.

      • kibiz0r@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        If your clothes stay behind, then what else does?

        Dirt, dust, dead skin? Oils? Gut bacteria? Dental fillings? Food you just ate? Oxygen in your lungs? Oxygen in your blood? Implants for sure, right? What about hair, or nails?

        I can imagine a scenario where someone tries this ability for the first time only to wind up naked, perfectly clean-shaven, bleeding profusely from every orifice and extremity, breathless and doubled over in pain, convulsing on a pile of shit, hair and other gross, getting their back sliced open by disembodied toenails.

        • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          And do you swap places with matter at your destination or just fit your pieces around and into whatever is already there?

          If you don’t swap, you could end up with air in your blood stream and bacteria and fungal spores everywhere. And a chance of nuclear fusion depending on how close atoms end up to each other. And if it can fuck with things at a nuclear level, it will also fuck with them at a chemical and structural level.

          Or if you do swap, it becomes a powerful weapon where you just pop into someone’s body, putting the parts of them you overlap with where you used to be, then you just pop back out in a different spot. Bank vault door is too thick? Just teleport multiple times and you’ll get through safely as long as you can remain pretty still while going through it. If you can constantly teleport a tiny distance, you might be impervious to all attacks because stuff would get swapped before it impacts you, but that “might” is doing a lot of lifting. Though you probably also wouldn’t be able to hear sound, so you would be vulnerable when having conversations or listening to music.

      • zeppo@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        What this comes down to is too few details. The fine print definitely matters

    • theneverfox@pawb.social
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      1 year ago

      Free gravel is a clear winner… If there’s no limits, you could straight up build artificial islands, you could destroy cities… It’s a legit super power. Hell, unless there’s extreme limits that make it worthless, you could do a lot.

      Teleporting is tempting, and if you could use it fast enough you could fly or at least walk at insane speeds… Depending on the limits, I’d take that over gravel

      But any toaster? That’s a brain computer interface right there. Even if it’s one way, and you have to do it manually and pay for power? With 30 toasters you could type anything. You could learn stenography to do it faster. Or, if you could manipulate toasters past their capabilities, you could generate infinite power or burn down entire cities

      • MBM@lemmings.world
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        1 year ago

        For the gravel, I assumed it meant that any place that sells gravel is forced to give it to you for free. Still really powerful, but you have to think about the logistics.

    • MTK@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Also if you can telelport but leave your poop behind think how easy pooping would be!

  • circuitfarmer@lemmy.sdf.org
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    1 year ago
    • Resell my free gravel for huge profits

    • Have a great street magic trick where I ask the spectator to empty a single container out of many with my back turned, but I can always pick out which one

    I’ll be Cris Angel, Gravel King

  • kase@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Why is everyone choosing whatever pill(s) they want to and describing what they’d do with it?

    The instructions explicitly say you can only pick 2. Everyone gets gravel. Smh.

  • Atomic@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    2 and 3 easy.

    Free gravel for life. So I have an endless supply of product I can sell for profit? Yes please.

    And I see no time-limit on the teleportation. 7 inches at a time. Sure. But what stops me from instantly teleporting another 7 inches? And who says I can only do it horizontally. Pretty much giving me the ability to fly here. I’ll take it.

  • empireOfLove@lemmy.one
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    1 year ago

    Options 2 and 3.

    Free gravel, assuming that means it just sort of appears where I want it in as much volume as i want, means I can simply create a massive stockpile of it in a very convenient location for construction projects and sell it by the yard for literally free money. Or sell it directly and conjure it up right where the foreman wants it.

    Teleporting 7 inches is enough to pass through most doors which are less than 2" thick. That is infinitely more useful than you think it is…

      • samus12345@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        If it stops velocity it would also be useful for dropping long distances without dying. A little like Mario doing a butt-stomp just before he hits the ground in Mario 64.

        • x4740N@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Could just also use it to travel any speed too if it stops velocity

          You could put on an astronauts suit and warp across space

          • merc@sh.itjust.works
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            1 year ago

            Theoretically it could be used to travel, but “realistically” it probably couldn’t. Even if it’s an ability that’s as easy to activate as blinking, a typical blink lasts 1/3 of a second. If you can teleport 4x per second, you can only move at 28 inches per second, which is slower than walking speed. If you did it while you were running you could theoretically add 28 inches per second to your speed, but that would only increase your speed by about 10%.

            It seems unlikely you could use the ability hundreds of times per second, because there really isn’t much that you can do intentionally hundreds of times per second.

    • samus12345@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Doors may not be that thick, but you’re thicker than 7 inches even if you’re skinny. So you’d end up with part of your back inside the door.

      • IndefiniteBen@leminal.space
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        1 year ago

        But then you haven’t travelled 7 inches. If you want to measure how far someone has travelled, you measure the distance from a body part in one position to the same body part in the second position. If you measure from the back of the foot in one position why would you measure to the front of the foot in the other position?

        • CrzyRusski@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Ammm, that proves that you’ll likely end up in the door. If you stand facing the door and measure 7 inches from the back of the foot towards the door, you likely won’t pass the door.

        • Zeshade@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          If a door is 2 inches thick and thickest part of your body is the length of your foot in inches, let’s say 11 inches which Google tells me is a reasonable length for a man’s foot, then to travel far enough into the direction of the door so that the back of your foot ends up on the other side of the door, you’d need to travel 11+2 inches.

        • samus12345@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Depends on how it’s measured. I was supposing a position at the center of your mass being used, but there are no guidelines to go by. Guess you just have to take the pill and see how it works! Personally, I’d pick something else unless I had a way to verify how it worked beforehand.

    • merc@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      Not just doors. Many walls are thinner than that. Any window or glass wall, even reinforced bulletproof ones, immediately become an entrance and exit. You could presumably walk into Fort Knox, grab a few bars of gold and walk back out. If you’re arrested, no jail could hold you.

      You could easily be the most famous magician alive, doing impossible escapes from sealed boxes, or disappearing by teleporting 7 inches into a hollow but completely sealed object.

  • SCB@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Free gravel for life. Just become a gravel wholesaler. Corner the market instantly.

  • dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Depending on the fine print that comes with these powers, some of them could be significantly less useless than they appear.

    For instance, “look 10 hours younger.” Always, or can you do this on command? Can do you it on command more than once? Does the effect stack? Does it include your clothes? Etc. Because if it for example includes your clothes and/or makeup, you could use this to disguise yourself pretty elaborately, or equip yourself with a lot of stuff about your person in advance, then take it off and show up anywhere up to 10 hours later and conjure that stuff out of the air. Imagine the Matrix lobby scene, except you don’t have to set off the metal detector on your way through.

    Infinite gravel could be pretty OP if you can conjure it at a fast rate, and especially so if you can conjure it at a remote location. Like, above your enemy’s head. Or inside his vehicle. Etc. Even if it’s just some kind of deal where you present your magic coupon at the Gravel Depot, you could corner the world’s supply. There are a lot of roads that need building in the world.

    Or if your 7" teleportation range has no cooldown period, you could just chain-teleport pretty much anywhere that doesn’t require passing through anything thicker than 7". That’s tantamount to flight or super speed running, but you could do it without removing your asscheeks from your chair. Or depending on how the telefrag rules work, you could cause a lot of damage to anyone or anything you wanted by just teleporting through taking 7" bites out of your target each time.

    • Wolf Link 🐺@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      #7 could be useful for gambling - when you can see into one container but not the other, you instantly know which one has the prize in it.

    • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Due to a recent Supreme Court ruling certain areas classified as wet land by the US Corp of Engineers are no longer under build restriction. To make them buildable they need fill. A few million tons of gravel fill seems like something someone would pay a lot of money for.

        • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          Yeah, it’s crazy. A couple from Idaho took the EPA to court and won. Wetlands not adjacent to bodies of water are no longer federally protected.

    • Caboose@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      If you think about it, if looking 10 hours younger was constant, you basically created eternal youth. I’d say that’s pretty great.

  • Clbull@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    2 and 3 without question.

    You’d make ludicrous money from the construction industry with an unlimited supply of gravel, while being able to teleport 7 inches would be useful for break-ins.

  • shifted_drifter@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    2 and 7. Free gravel? Sign me up that shit’s expensive. And I think another way to interpret 7 is that you can instantly tell whether any closed container is empty or not, since you can only see into empty containers.

  • x4740N@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    2 and 3

    Assuming I have the ability to Summon free gravel

    I could use it for all sorts of things such as making money, using it as a throwing weapon, etcetera

    With the teleportation I could just chain I and travel to any country while maintaining a safe speed limit for my body during transition in and out of teleporting

      • LesserAbe@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Free gravel has to come from somewhere, it’s functionally equivalent to summoning it. (Although it could be one of those asshole genie things where they’re like "I didn’t say how much free gravel)

      • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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        1 year ago

        I truly expect with the wording of the rest of this that you need to fill out like a requisition form for the gravel each time you want more.

        • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          You have to go to a quarry and pick it up every time. Mind you its still free so your only overhead would be in time and transit. Just sell it below market price to landscapers.