- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.ml
- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.ml
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They look like Republicans. Hard pass.
Republicans with too much perfume and obnoxious voices.
Good luck, no woman has ever been able to get through my dense head
I’m too smart for this. I would take them back to my hotel room, have a fun time, and then ghost the hell out of them.
My line of work does involve trade secrets and stuff. I’m pretty sure I’d be able to have sex without the temptation of booting up and unlocking my work computer though.
I certainly wouldn’t try to do business with them. I just want to nut. Is it that wrong to want to have a threesome with foreign intelligence assets? I’d even thank them for making that specific fantasy come true once we’re done.
I’m just kidding though, these women are not my type. They’d need to entice me with an autistic girl who loves trains as much as I do, and I’m already married to one so they’re too late anyway.
I know a guy took a sex worker back to his room, he claims he didn’t know she was a sex worker. Some shit went down, he absolutely refused to pay, she maced the fuck out him. The hotel put a $10,000 charge on the work paid room because it got on everything and they were just paying to replace all the shit that couldn’t be cleaned. He was fired.
They could always entice you with a weapon :)
They’d need to entice me with an autistic girl who loves trains as much as I do, and I’m already married to one so they’re too late anyway.
You FOOL they’ve already got their hooks into you, they played the long game lmao
Double u double u double u dot lemmy dot world
Politely nothing. If they want to know my secrets, they will have to work for it. That way I’m also not bothering some strangers who don’t deserve to be randomly harassed.
My opener is silence tbh
Jensen Huang enters the chat
Um, this elevator is taken, you will need to wait for the next one.
Than fart real loud.
Follow that up by with eye contact, smiling and nodding, like “yeah, that was me”
I wouldn’t even acknowledge them.
a smile and nod and then right back to my phone screen?
One has the fakest, deadest smile I’ve ever seen and the other looks like she’s on a mission. Those two are in cahoots and probably smeel like hair bleach.
lol, I mean I think they look fine, you can’t always tell from just a pic but they could be into your favourite hobby or sports team or something who knows …
I wouldn’t say a word because women don’t interest me, only men do (as I’m gay). I’d just be distracted by my phone and ride the elevator in peace before departing on my chosen floor.
why would you use an “opener” on random people getting into an elevator with you?
Did you catch the game last night?
Do you like hot fudge Sundays?
Ever seen a guy eat his own head?
Is the police still waiting outside?
What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?
The thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in
you mean Dune: Awakening?
Yeah, you hit on them when they’re getting OUT of it. Don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable and trapped.
Door closes
You mumble, “Your outfit matches your notebook, and I think that’s really cute.” It echoes in the empty elevator. You’ll keep thinking about that cute number, but not as long as you’ll regret missing the opportunity to have said it to her face. That kind of compliment has the potential to really brighten a person’s day.
One of the best things about transitioning is that now I can compliment people’s clothes without them thinking I’m trying to boink them.
Sometimes that outfit just really complements your skin tone, you know?
I can say that too? I just gotta make sure its on the leaving the elevator side
Its called shooting your shot
I don’t have a gun, and even if I had one, why would I shoot random people?
This doesn’t seem like the best opener.
if you have to resort to harassing strangers who are trapped in an elevator with you, then you are far too ugly to be “shooting your shot”.
You can see if theyre interested by talking to them. Shooting your shot doesnt mean flashing and hoping for sex. Do you know how to socialize?
you think women want to socialize with strange men in an elevator? who is your favorite manosphere influencer?
Now youre just assuming. Touch grass.
and you’re assuming that women would feel safe with you harassing them in a cramped space. why don’t you head over to !womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone and ask them how they would feel about that.
I’m sorry for whatever trauma you went through that makes you feel like someone standing in an elevator is strange and predatory.
“Ugly people don’t deserve love” so says the moth???
sexual predators should have the right to harass people who are trapped with them, so says the voxie?
If you try “openers” on women walking into elevators like a captive audience you deserve to die in a fire
Precisely.
Did you ever consider thinking something is gross without wishing a painful death on the perpetrator?
Edit: of course they didn’t. Being a zealot who wants to kill their “enemies” is fine and also very worthy of many upvotes. Of course I’m evil for pointing out how fucked this is.
Letting them live is how we get Trump, fire is much better
I’m of the opinion it should be painful or death. People who try to pick up ladies, preach, etc to a captive audience do need the pain as they ignore words. It’s the behavior that leads to bigger problems and needs to be nipped in the bud.
That’s fucked up
The fact that you picked defending “guys who try to pick up women when they’re stuck on an elevator together” as a hill to stand on is fucked up. The fact that you don’t have the experience to recognize that certain aggressively shameless people don’t care about a verbal reprimand is also telling.
Now just in case it’s where the hangup is, my core position is incredibly nuanced. Reason should be the go-to and I look down on people who think they can solve all their problems with their fists. Don’t hit kids. Parts of the criminal justice system are draconian and counterproductive. The ultra rich don’t care about fines or laws and need the occasional bat to the knee.They’re not defending that, they’re criticizing your apparent thirst for violence. I agree with them, you seem pretty messed up for reacting the way you do.
I also do not like the idiotic pick-up culture and I especially dislike subjecting someone to it when they cannot easily leave. It is pretty insane though to wish for someone to ‘die in a fire’ for this. And you’re either too stubborn to back down or you really (think you) mean what you say. I’m going to assume the former, which just makes you an annoying loser instead of a full-blown psycho.
Counter point:
I always liked this elevator. It picks me up when I’m down.In a fancy hotel, a boy got on and told the elevator operator that he was staying on the top floor. When the doors opened the operator said “Your floor, son.” The boy asked why he called him son, and the operator replied, “Well, didn’t I bring you up?”
Counter counterpoint:
Unfortunately it always brings me down when I’m up.Got it to move sideways. When I passed out drunk.
Oh, the dad’s gambit.
A captive audience for 15 seconds at which point they have a built-in reason to leave though
but where else am i going to meet someone
the only opener allowed is the open door button
I’d say to them the same thing I say to anyone else.
“Hi. What floor? Have a good night.”
What is this, an Axe commercial?
Most men do
Can’t speak for other men but I cum with my prostate.
The pee is stored in the balls.
