https://www.thefarside.com/2026/09/07/0
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Now listen up! We’re going to do this alphabetically! / damn
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Joke’s on Noah, alphabets hadn’t even been invented yet.
When it’s finally their turn to board the ark:

Aardvarks:

My last name means I almost always come last in the list. It is what it is.
What infuriated me most was as a kid at school, if you were slightly late for class and the teacher was reading names, you had to stand by the door until the teacher reached your name. This means I unfairly had to stand longer than everyone else. I did not stay quiet about this injustice.
Didn’t he speak Aramaic? So the zebras might have been fine?
EDIT: Daggit, I was thinking of Moses, not Noah. You can scratch the below!
His primary language would have been Ancient Egyptian, alongside early Semitic.
Doing a little digging, my understanding is that Ancient Egyptians described things in practical terms. The more foreign something was, the more they would describe it in known terms. So a zebra would be something like “striped wild ass.”
𓉻𓂸𓃘 𓈇𓏏𓈉 𓋴𓄿𓃥
Amazing. So then the question remains if the Egyptians had an order of hieroglyphics, and if so, whetherthe symbol 𓉻 is at the beginning or the end.
Ah, WHOOPS, I just realised something. I was thinking of Moses, not Noah! 🤥
And I was rolling with Moses because he’s at least a legendary or composite figure, and Ancient Egyptian is a fun subject IMO.
Noah is just pure mythical fabrication AFAIK, so who knows what imaginary language he allegedly spoke? (altho hypothetically I’d guess it would be pre-Semitic)
Interestingly, the Christian mythos is hardly the only one to feature a Great Flood.
In case that doesn’t render for anyone else, here’s a handy site:
https://babelstone.co.uk/Unicode/whatisit.html
U+1327B : EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPH O029 {A wooden column, written horizontally} U+130B8 : EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPH D052 {A phallus with a scrotum} U+130D8 : EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPH E007 {A donkey/ass, standing} U+0020 : SPACE [SP] U+13207 : EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPH N023 {An irrigation canal} U+133CF : EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPH X001 {A half round loaf of bread} U+13209 : EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPH N025 {The hill country over the edge of the cultivated areas} U+0020 : SPACE [SP] U+132F4 : EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPH S029 {A folded piece of cloth} U+1313F : EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPH G001 {An Egyptian vulture (Neophron percnopterus)} U+130E5 : EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPH E017 {A jackal, standing, tail down}



