So, yesterday, after my absolutely terrible experience at my cousin’s birthday party, I somehow got home safely (thank god 😭).
I decided to wear the very same outfit my family rejected and take a quick walk, to clear my head a little. It was already really late and dark, but I decided to go anyway…

At least until I actually got outside 😆

It was so fucking cold! And I was something that barely even covered my skin, no wonder I was cold! Also, I swear to god HRT made my body colder (or at least not as cold-resistant) and somehow…even more pale 🤣. I’m basically a ghost now, lol.
(Also, I was scared going outside by myself that late. I am sooo freaking weak now. My bf overpowers me with one hand, easily 🫦)

Anyway, as I was quickly walking back to my apartment building, one of the automated lights mounted on the wall turned on. This caused a shadow to be cast on the wall in front of me, and the shadow was…a girl’s shadow?

Was she right behind me? Was she next to me, I just didn’t notice? She was really skinny and had shoulders a bit broad, but she was nice. I actually got envious of her body…

I was staring at my own shadow on the wall 🤦‍♀️. It took me way too long to realize that and I felt really stupid afterwards. But also euphoric! You see, all of my boymoding clothes are at least slightly baggy. They hide the shape of my figure. These clothes on the other hand, they expose most of my long legs and also show the actual shape of my upper body. And goddamn do these jorts make my ass and hips look girly, in the best way 😆. I looked…good?

This was a massive confidence boost for me, tbh. I kept giggling like a schoolgirl in the elevator 😂. You know, for the first time in my life, I actually felt that I might kinda pass…one day, at least. I felt good about myself!

All of this to say, fuck my pretentiously supportive family. I don’t need their stupid validation. I have my own life now, my own apartment (with my very own man who loves me dearly 🤭). Next time, I’m probably not even going to attend any of their parties. And if I do, I’ll wear what I want. They can stare, they can whisper, fuck 'em. They are my family, I still do love them, but I don’t have to center my life around them.

Thank you everyone for your kind words 💜. It’s crazy how kind everyone here is…I don’t even deserve that 😭. Thank you so much. I love you people ❤️

Aaaand now I’m going to go celebrate with my bf, in my own way, in bed. Until next time!