• Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    16 hours ago

    Dating as a guy in your early 20s is a fucking minefield. Now that I’m 30 it’s better because nobody lies about being in their upper 20s or 30s, anyone who would be illegal is easy to spot because people under about 22 look like actual children to me now, and if absolutely needed it’s easy enough to just take any new dating prospect to a bar and let the bartender card them.

    But back in my early 20s none of that was true. Half the women on dating apps were lying about their age. Judging age visually between about 16 and 20 can get really fuzzy. Also people who were 20 were still in my age range so taking them to a bar to get carded doesn’t work. Completely turned me off dating for a while.

    • HCSOThrowaway@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      if absolutely needed it’s easy enough to just take any new dating prospect to a bar and let the bartender card them.

      FYI this is not allowed to be used as a defense in court in some states (e.g. mine). If you card them and they have a fake ID, you’re still criminally culpable for anything untoward.

        • DudleyMason@lemmy.ml
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          6 hours ago

          Punishing people for sex that their imaginary friend wouldn’t approve of is far more important than justice or fairness to most people.

        • Jax@sh.itjust.works
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          10 hours ago

          Seriously, what’s the option - oh you look slightly young, let me see your birth certificate? Wait that might be a forgery, show me your driver’s license? Wait, that might be a forgery - show me an x-ray of your bones so I can analyze your growth plates.

          Fucking hell

          • HCSOThrowaway@lemmy.world
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            7 hours ago

            One of the many ridiculous laws implemented by performative GOP pearl-clutchers, half of whom are on the Epstein List.

        • Phoenixz@lemmy.ca
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          11 hours ago

          Yeah that doesn’t sound right, even ethically.

          If by your sincere knowledge you’re having a date with an adult, you shouldn’t get in trouble for anything

          • HCSOThrowaway@lemmy.world
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            6 hours ago

            F.S.S. 794.021:

            Ignorance or belief as to victim’s age no defense

            When, in this chapter, the criminality of conduct depends upon the victim’s being below a certain specified age, ignorance of the age is no defense. Neither shall misrepresentation of age by such person nor a bona fide belief that such person is over the […]

        • HCSOThrowaway@lemmy.world
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          7 hours ago

          It’s not that blatant:

          F.S.S. 794.021:

          Ignorance or belief as to victim’s age no defense

          When, in this chapter, the criminality of conduct depends upon the victim’s being below a certain specified age, ignorance of the age is no defense. Neither shall misrepresentation of age by such person nor a bona fide belief that such person is over the […]

    • Best thing, though unfortunately not quite possible, would be to check each other’s ID.

      1. You can be certain about each other’s age.
      2. Should they harm you, you now know who the other person is, and they get the same reassurance.

      But that conversation wouldn’t work.

      • Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org
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        9 hours ago

        You can be certain about each other’s age.

        …unless they have a fake ID. Which in turn is not in any way a defense should you perform certain acts with them that are illegal due to age. You’re just supposed to be able to sense the difference between someone slightly above and slightly below the line in your jurisdiction.

      • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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        11 hours ago

        Wait, regular young people didn’t used to ask for ID on dates? I guess I was just paranoid.

      • MJKee9@lemmy.world
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        11 hours ago

        The problem with this strategy is you can still be prosecuted for statutory rape even if you relied on a fake ID.

      • HCSOThrowaway@lemmy.world
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        11 hours ago

        FYI this is not allowed to be used as a defense in court in some states (e.g. mine). If you card them and they have a fake ID, you’re still criminally culpable for anything untoward.

      • jdr@lemmy.ml
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        12 hours ago

        Unforch, knowing someone’s government name is disappointingly ineffective at preventing or remediating harm, in my experience.