This… really is the truth.

Many, many men… want to be able to be vulnerable, or cutesy, playful.

They want to be able to express their emotions.

They want to be able to be soft, vulnerable, silly, at least in private, with someone they trust.

But they are so often belittled and shamed for this… they often are not allowed to be soft, or are at least very much convinced by culture that softness is impossible, is weakness, is shameful, is not allowed.

Patriarchy, the constant performance and also broad expectation of tough-guy machismo… it harms men as well as women.

EDIT:

To be clear, I’m not saying ‘do this right away in a relationship’ or anything like that. You have your boundaries, they have theirs, and not all guys are the same, etc etc.

But maybe be open to it, and realize… the guy may not even realize that that is what he is lacking, may need some encouragement to soften a bit, and yeah, some guys might snap back at the suggestion, like a reflex, thinking you are insulting them, their identity via ‘manliness’.

Men can still be difficult, and shitty, no excusing that.

But… a lot of them do just have that inner child in there, that wants a hug, a shoulder to cry on.