I know they’re not exactly the same from the few glimpses of Fandom history I’ve seen of LiveJournal, but you seriously didn’t like anything about Pleroma, Frendica, Hubzilla, Diaspora, AND Wafrn? The first 4 are all essentially Facebook clones, although they can be seen as macro-blogging sites too. Wafrn is literally Tumblr, just decentralized.

I would highly recommend giving those a chance rather than clinging to FB, as these friends could totally manage it.

Here’s the Fediverse.party site to check them all out (Wafrn link here).