A woman I liked invited me over to watch some Buffy and we decided it got too late for me to go home, so I prepared to sleep on the sofa. She invited me to share her bed and I declined because I didn’t want to inconvenience her. I was right, right? Right?
Women who go from 0 to 100 throw me off. So, she’s inviting you for sex without any kissing or anything leading up to it? Was watching Buffy supposed to be the foreplay?
I don’t know! Maybe there were other signs I missed? Maybe it was a last effort before I left in the morning? Maybe she really was just being nice? I guess it’s a mystery I’ll take to my grave.
The big thing I’m concerned with here is consent. Sleeping together does not imply consent. If you’re sleeping with me and you want sex, then you have to make that clear in some way. I’m not going to initiate sex if there isn’t something going on that makes it clear that you want sex. Watching Buffy together doesn’t cut it. Otherwise, I could wind up raping somebody, and I don’t want to do that.
Think about if the roles were reversed. Would you invite a woman over, watch some TV, and then ask her to get into bed with you, expecting sex? If it was seduction, it was the most clumsy and indirect seduction ever.
A woman I liked invited me over to watch some Buffy and we decided it got too late for me to go home, so I prepared to sleep on the sofa. She invited me to share her bed and I declined because I didn’t want to inconvenience her. I was right, right? Right?
Women who go from 0 to 100 throw me off. So, she’s inviting you for sex without any kissing or anything leading up to it? Was watching Buffy supposed to be the foreplay?
I don’t know! Maybe there were other signs I missed? Maybe it was a last effort before I left in the morning? Maybe she really was just being nice? I guess it’s a mystery I’ll take to my grave.
Don’t beat yourself up. Here’s how I see it.
The big thing I’m concerned with here is consent. Sleeping together does not imply consent. If you’re sleeping with me and you want sex, then you have to make that clear in some way. I’m not going to initiate sex if there isn’t something going on that makes it clear that you want sex. Watching Buffy together doesn’t cut it. Otherwise, I could wind up raping somebody, and I don’t want to do that.
Think about if the roles were reversed. Would you invite a woman over, watch some TV, and then ask her to get into bed with you, expecting sex? If it was seduction, it was the most clumsy and indirect seduction ever.