• Ziglin (they/them)@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Do people seriously conciously fantasize about taking part in erotic acts with real people (especially ones they have feelings for)? It seems extremely disrespectful to me. (if the involved parties are in a relationship it’s probably OK)

      • NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz
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        3 months ago

        But it’s probably ok if the two are in a relationship. So maybe the sexual fantasies of their awful parents were legal.

        • Comment105@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          No, sex gross, make it all illegal please. We have the technology, only synthetic crotch goblins from now on.

          We need a literal horny jail, and enforcers with clubs.

    • deathbird@mander.xyz
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      3 months ago

      Do people seriously conciously fantasize about taking part in erotic acts with real people (especially ones they have feelings for)?

      Yes.

      I kinda get the disrespect perspective, maybe. I felt that a little as a teen. But then I thought it probably wasn’t respectful treating my crush in my mind like a sort of sexless statue or object rather than a real human being that I was in love with and wanted to have sex with.

      • Ziglin (they/them)@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Maybe I seperate love and sex a bit too much (or just more than average)? When I have romantic feelings it doesn’t make me want to sleep with the person they’re directed towards. But I also would likely not decline an invitation to engage in such acts (and given enough time might eventually ask on my own) but until some sort of mutual attraction has been verified I just avoid thinking of them in a sexual way.

        • deathbird@mander.xyz
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          3 months ago

          When I have romantic feelings it doesn’t make me want to sleep with the person they’re directed towards.

          It doesn’t make me want to necessarily sleep with them either, but rather stay up late having sex with them. And maybe after sleep.

          But this idea of asexual romantic attraction makes about as much sense to me as saying “When I am hungry it doesn’t make me want to eat food.”

          When I say I have “romantic feelings” for someone, the feeling I’m referring to is a combination of love and sexual desire. Even when I was a kid and would sort of push down or repress sexual thoughts because in my head it felt wrong or inappropriate, what I was feeling was sexual desire and love.

          My understanding of the term “romantic” has always been euphemistic, based in an understanding that it would be weird and rude to just tell someone you’re crushing on that you love them and you want them to love you too and you want to put your mouth on their genitals because you think you could make them feel really good and you want to physically intimate to be vulnerable with them because vulnerability is a part of of not just physical but emotional intimacy and you want them to share their feelings and feel open to you and so on and so on you get the idea.

    • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      What happens in other people’s heads is not my business. Even if the imagined protagonist looks and acts like me, they’re not and I don’t have a single stake in it.

    • Zozano@lemy.lol
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      3 months ago

      real people

      Ew

      I only consciously fantasise about people who don’t exist.

      Sometimes they aren’t even people, they could be abstract concepts, like a time format, or a plan.

      Sometimes I even fantasise about concepts of a plan.

    • cheddar@programming.dev
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      3 months ago

      I only started to fantasize about my wife after we’d got married. We haven’t had sex yet though. Penetrating a real person would be disrespectful.