Boss: Explain the weed and cocaine.
Me: Um, they’re awesome…
Boss: Hell yeah they are! pulls out a spliff and a mirror
Is that so you can watch yourself smoke it?
Yes… Sniff
naww, so innocent.
but its for snorting fat lines of coke off of, but thats for fancy cokeheads, any flat and smooth surface will do, a blank cd or your friends mums kitchen bench works well tho.
I have the privilege of knowing someone from my early childhood years who has too much money.
He showed me a picture of some multimillionaire dickhead he knows, who uses a slate of ancient polished obsidian for nothing other than his coke plate.
“You say it was an everything bagel?”
“That’s right.”
“And that explains the weed and coke?”
“Yes.”
“Then where’s the opium and meth…?”
They found opium, hence the initial poppy seed excuse.
Shit, musta been the psilocybin that threw me off.
“Right? I’m still asking why they didn’t include Ketamine and a kitchen sink.”
Because ketemine has an extremely short half-life and isn’t detectable very long after use.
“You should ask for a refund.”
Everything Everywhere All At Once
Literally every Enlisted member ever.
Boss: You failed your drug test
Me: Yeah, I forgot to study for it
Just watched this on QI. S16E08, plants. It’s about 11 minutes in…
