Un trop vert timide

I didn’t see this one coming… And I should have.

Glad to see you feel better.

Chiming in just to express my support, long with the other commenters.

It seems that you’ve at least found a tupportive and minful community here. I wish you to find one IRL too if that’s not already the case. A good community really helps being well, happy, and attenuating anxiety.

I also wish that your family learn to identify and avoid hurtful acts and words.

In other words, I wish you conditions that help being at least safe and happy.

(Again, sorry if my message is clumsy.)

How does it work with non binary / isogender gender configuration (including agender, multigender, etc) and with gender fluidity ?

Well, considering that “transgender” and “non-binary” are both umbrella terms describy a great variety of experiences, it would be hard. NB even lies ousidet of the classical concepts of gender (at least in the cultures inheriting from the biggest colonial empires). So it’s hard to undertand all who are under these umbrellas.

I am not able to properly communicate how I experience my own non binarity. I just, for as long I can remember thinking about my gender, have undertood myself as mostly a man but with fractions of me that were not a man. (three gender in toal) But how to make it understandable to someone that doesn’t share the same experience ? I genuinely don’t know. Even more complicated, even though I have a dominant gender (man), it is mostly linked to my body. I think my main gender would very easily switch if my body magically switched to be mainly female or mainly asexual. (Beware the polysemy, i’m not talking about the asexual orientation.) I guess I do not feel that connected to the notion of gender itself.

For the daily struggle, well… Let’s just say I’m quite lucky I pass well as a white cishet monoromantic man, and don’t suffer from gender dysphoria to my knowledge. And although I currently hae no IRL community to discuss with freely about this kind of experience, that’s mainly because of social difficulties unrelated to my queerness.

All that, though, is the individual experience of a single enby. It cannot and must not be generalized in any way.

Would I be able to understand the experience of another enby ? Maybe, maybe not, it will depend on said experience. Same thing means I don’t fully understand transgender experiences. I understand what transgender people manage to communicate, and I learn from that. But since I don’t share their experiences, some aspects will always elude me. Still the same thing with the cisgender experience. I easily understand what can be externally observed, because the society I live in is built around cisgender people with traditionnal roman catholic christian gender roles.

The good thing is : fully understanding someone is not a necessary condition to fully accept and fully respect them. (But it is a contributing factor.)

Nothing but the true truth.

Exactly why I created a new internet identity when I joined the fediverse with the intent to be open about myself.

My usual web identities are too tied to my civil identity, and the socio-political context in France is not so good, while still better than in the USA.

Moreover, I don’t come from a very tolerant social background. I had to be really independant to begin deconstructing my previously learned biases. (A never ending effort.)

Which one are you

• Male
• Female
• Walmart Bag

Somehow all of the above ? (Except I never had anything to do with Walmart. Wrong country.)