She could have been saved if Dollar Tree responded faster.

No, please call 911. I’m having a heart attack.

mfw I accidentally do a 9/11

Just so we’re clear, these are the people I want you to poison, Cracker Barrel. Keep it hush-hush.

Ok, goodnight

And Never Ending Shrimp was cancelled

order hospital food

I’m gone

Bye

That really is a captivating story.

You’ve been warned

Just answer the question

Who would be able to do that if not a judge?

🥤🙏🏼

I’m going to start counting and this better be deleted by the time I get to 3.

Thomas had his gallbladder removed.

https://i.imgur.com/3gWo2IB.png

Ben’s birthday would be ruined if he doesn’t get a “Happy Birthday” from Old Country Buffet.

Order soup salad and breadsticks

Yeah, just a symbol until your deceased partner’s family tries to take your house. Just a symbol until you realize you can’t sponsor your foreign partner for immigration because the government doesn’t recognize your relationship.

Those legal protections around property are the whole point of the law recognizing marriage.

An “illegal” strike basically just means it’s not protected. In other words, they can fire you for striking.