Zuck, I want you to explain to this irrationally angry woman that this coupon from four years ago has expired.

Crest beef jerky! Experience the minty flavors of the…fuckin Southwest. Yeehaw!

Whatcha doin with that landmine?
“Uhhhh…cartoon mischief?”
Well okay then. Welcome to Disneyland.

Have you been given jewelry that had some wackadoodle magical properties? Call the law offices of Gandalf and Gandalf and don’t settle for less than you deserve!

Ladybug DOOM music intensifies

I pictured a seal opening a beer and in a deep voice says, “Damn. Nice place cat. Mind if I stretch out on your couch!?”

Ey this’ll get ya arrested in Boston.

Yup! You can make custom camos, custom decals, place crew members (in beta version), and fight in custom battles or missions. Some communities even have fun competitions.

“It exploded. The hot pocket exploded.”

He’s delusional. Hot pockets don’t explode.

RAWR -Your favorite Dino bros maybe.

Gaslighting doesn’t exist and you’re going crazy. /s

Awww look, he wants to launch the missile!

Hey man. I could totally use that for…some lemonade I could maybe make maybe.

Poor captain. The light is no longer burning inside him, but defiantly he stands.

Shield toad.

I can’t believe they took out that makeover montage set to “Girls Just Want To Have Fun.”

Oh hell yeah. (T-Rex sounds)

Bro, do you even LEAP!?

Derek needs to be on the sandwich offender list.

Dear IRS,

How are you? I am well. I paid my tax already when I bought gum at the Gas N Go, and it was 78 cents.

Your pal,
saltnotsugar