I have written a few comments about day to day life in Lebanon as we’re being bombed and now invaded by an indiscriminate killing machine. This war has more surreal than anything I’ve lived through: more surreal than the post-blast week, more surreal than peak lockdown season, more surreal than any of the waves of civil conflict throughout my life. I have never felt more guilty for every breath of air I take and every hug I give my family. People, normal civilian people like me, are losing everything, often their lives.
More surreal: an Arabic sweet shop I go to very often (it’s on a main highway) got damaged by an attack this week. It’s in the middle of a very safe city. Like imagine your favorite something just had to close from war damage. Good thing the indiscriminate killing machine didn’t suspect that terrorists were hiding in the baklawa. Maybe next week they’ll find them and finish the job.
Would you fucking believe it if I told you I get DMs from people “sympathizing with my hardships” but asking me if I could kindly remove my post because of some US election shenanigans.
Some people will just never understand that there is a whole world outside the Global North full of complex people and situations. I like not being bombed for the crime of not being a European colonist. But writing about it in English online? Must be a psyop huh. At least this isn’t Reddit where a few years back someone actually questioned whether I could really be Lebanese if I was writing so much in decent English. Truly le euphoric intellectual site.
And hey if I was an American voter I’d probably still cast an unenthusiastic ballot for the cop if I was in a battleground state. I get it, I hate the other guy, it would be morally gray, but no grayer than the options we get to vote for here. But that doesn’t mean this absurd defense of the indiscriminate killing machine, spewing forth from every corner of the woodwork, hasn’t really highlighted how the US just has two right wing parties. You guys (Americans) should be reframing the Vietnam protests as a cute little Sunday picnic compared to what you should be doing now. Which they were.
You have to hold these ghouls accountable and the “nice democratic countries’” fetish for pretend civility has never been more exhausting. You think in the annals of history they’re going to say “good thing they didn’t whip out the nooses, that would have been so beneath our perfect empire”? Of course not. It would just be correctly understood as appeasement. When the indiscriminate killing machine is properly listed next to Rhodesia and Nazi Germany, the fervent support the world showed them will be a rightful, eternal humiliation for every country that has been rewarding them for tearing our families and limbs apart.
Or hey, maybe we get wiped off the map and get all our towns renamed to someone else’s language. And we are removed from the history books. Clearly our lives are just acceptable collateral for people playing what should ostensibly be a very important political game. If that’s what our lives are worth, what is our memory worth?
I remember the first time we jumped into the complex domain in an electronics course to calculate something that we couldn’t reach with the equations we had so far.
… and then popping out the other side with a simple (and experimentally verified) scalar, after performing some calculation in the complex domain, using, bafflingly, real world inputs.
I suddenly felt like someone from the future barged into my Plato’s cave and proceeded to perform some ritual.
Like I know what’s happening, I’ve done these calculations before, but seeing them used as an intermediate step in something real in the real world was pretty cool!
Did not prepare me for all the Laplace et al shenanigans later. Did I test well in those courses? No. Did I have the most fun building the circuits regardless? You bet.
Oh to be a student again. Why are real world jobs so boring.