Ergifruit [he/they]

love when it’s for those weight loss wraps. “i was a dickhead in school to you, and now the only reason i’m contacting you is to tell you you’re fat and steal your money.” incredible.

like, yes, i’m angry and disgusted at this thing and the people that made it happen. why aren’t you this upset? how could any decent human being not be??? sometimes it seems like allistic people don’t care about anything…

sauntering vaguely downward?

it’s the difference between a creepy dude in a trench coat telling you to reach into his pocket, and your grandma telling you to reach into her purse.

honestly, they always end up making communism seem based, not counting the worm-brained word salad in the rest of the article.

love how they made his face so true-to-life. really captures his dry mashed potato aura.

disabled people have been saying shit about this for years. i understand the desire to escape the suffering, (treatment resistant MDD 🤪) but no government should have that power, especially the oligarchic capitalist shitholes that most of us live in.

scum being scum. can’t wait to see how the West news cycle will spin it, if they even bother to write it up at all.

ice packs against an artery help, too. the neck, the crease between the groin and thighs, under the armpits, and under the knee, are all perfect spots. just make sure you do it over clothes or have a rag wrapped around it.

but when will it be my turn to oppress people? :(

one of those lil lipstick-shaped pocket knives?

death penalty.

Behind the Bastards (weird/interesting historical shitheads; usually, they did one on Musk and the Submarine Guy)

The Dogg Zzone (if you read Cracked back in the day, two of the main writers, plus guests)

Stuff You Should Know (Stuff. You should know.)

The Dollop (More weird historical shitheads, and sometimes good stuff??)

My Brother, My Brother, and Me (because i’m a basic removed and love dick jokes)

Distractible (also because i’m a basic removed and love dick jokes)

because they’re supposed to make it up in tips. yeah, it’s the business’ fault, but if you’re going there and supporting the business through your purchases while knowing you’re supposed to tip, and then not tipping, you’re the asshole. don’t get me wrong, it’s unethical. but OP knows you’re supposed to tip and is trying to wrangle their way out of it. if you can’t afford to tip, just don’t go.

that’s not a friend, that’s an acquaintance that thinks you’re less than human. as A Gay™, that was an apt comparison, especially considering an autism diagnosis has been specifically used as another way to oppress and infantilize trans and gay people (especially AFAB people). absolute scumbag behavior. i’m really sorry you had to go through that. :(

invisibility. i would just be invisible 20/7… only because it’d be rude to go up to a cashier or to the barber’s while invisible.

you absolutely are the asshole if you don’t tip. if you can’t afford to tip, then don’t eat out/just hit up fast food/go anywhere where people are paid a decent wage. most servers make under $5 an hour. if you’re not tipping, you’re directly exploiting them.

Munchlax, Drifblim, and Beedrill. and i, much like every disaffected child in the 2000’s, wanted Entei to be my dad.

as someone with IBS, cold/frozen liquids are the way to go… pun fully intended. it might be a bit difficult to keep things cool, but frozen sports drinks and the like are good for keeping you going. it’s really unhealthy, and i absolutely can’t recommend it, but it should work. you get a lot of your water intake from food, too, so if it’s not getting any of that, the water you ingest from liquids/frozen liquids is gonna get sucked up by your large intestine and, in theory, you’ll need the toilet less. good luck with, uh. your thing.

she looks so polite!