TrillianAstra

I play PbtA games, and those specifically tell you not to do too much work beforehand and “play to find out”. As you say, I start with a few core ideas and touchstones. Then, when the players ask a question about the world, I often turn it around on them and say “you tell me. What do you think?” Sometimes I’ll make them roll, sometimes not, but I’ll always incorporate at least some and often all of what they give me. This gives the players more buy-in, I’m not just reading my bullshit to them; and also gives me a lot more jumping off points for later stuff. Way less work for me, players feel a sense of authorship, win-win imo.

Hey, first of all, I’m glad you’re here. That first step is so scary and communities here on Lemmy are so supportive. I was where you are late last year, but pushing 40. It was overwhelming and I was scared, but also hopeful for the first time in a long time. I both was ecstatic and feeling like I was going to barf, lol.

Several people have already recommended The Dysphoria Bible and that was invaluable for me. I’ve been on E for about 8 months now, out for maybe 4, and while it hasn’t fixed all my problems and I know there’s lots of hard work ahead, I feel more in touch with who I am and hopeful that there’s happiness in my future. Transitioning, and the wonderful support of communities like this one and the many others around the Fediverse, legitimately saved my life.

The most important thing, I think, is to remember you’re not alone. It sounds like you have a supportive environment, which is wonderful, and I’ve found many more allies than I ever expected, both cis and trans, online and off. It’s not easy to come out or be trans in today’s world, but if you want that, there are a lot of kind and awesome people supporting you. And if it turns out not, they’ll support that too, I’ll bet.

Take care of yourself, and be kind to yourself, change and introspection is always hard. I highly recommend therapy but I know not everyone has access. If you wanna talk, DM me and I’ll be happy to chat. Same goes to anyone else reading this. I’m no expert and still a baby trans myself, but I think it’s important we support each other as best we can.

Good luck on your journey, it’s a hell of a ride but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Wish the best for you. However it turns out, you’re already on the right path toward understanding yourself better, and that’s a win in my book.

I dunno, a big part of the show is that she was moving too fast because she’s looking for love for the wrong reasons, and wanting to live on her own and figure her shit out first makes sense to me. While it would have been nice to see them together more, I thought their little exchange about living together implied that this separation is temporary and once they were both ready, they’d be together again. I thought it was a touching, if bittersweet, ending.

New Panty and Stocking soundtrack is wall to wall bangers, so good

I feel so bad for Shizuka. My brother was nonverbal and used a communication device so this episode fucked me up, that mother is a monster. I watched the last few episodes all at once to catch up and it’s insane that this show can go from that hardcore hot springs episode to this one. Love this show.

Grew up wanting to be Vegeta, ended up Caulifla. Couldn’t be happier!

I liked this show! Suzu is my favorite.

Re: sexual changes:

I’m turning 40 this year, and I started injections a couple of months ago. My libido and ability to get erections have not really changed at all; the only real difference is that I don’t have morning wood anymore and I find that I tend to use my imagination more than porn nowadays to finish if I’m on my own. Smut books are wonderful, lol. Still early but I am pretty happy with retaining function so far, it was the thing I was most worried about.

Re: passing, and other people’s concerns:

Respectfully, who gives a shit what other people think? If a bigoted patient was uncomfortable because you were a person of color, or a cis woman, or a gay man, or disabled, would that be acceptable? Should someone hide those things for the sake of said bigot? What makes being trans any different? Don’t let fear of assholes stop you from being who you want to be. They’re gonna be assholes anyway. Be an enby if you want or go full woman if you find that suits you, or be gender fluid or whatever, but do it because you want to, not to avoid stepping on someone else’s toes. I’m an old punk so maybe I’m biased toward being actively visible, but fuck those people. I can’t tell you what to do, and stay safe, obviously, but don’t hide your light under a bushel; the world would be lesser for it.

You sound a lot like me 6 months ago, though, as far as not knowing where you might fall on the gender spectrum. At that point the only thing I knew for sure was that I was sick of pretending to be a man and I wanted out. I thought of it as “defecting”, lol. I’ve gone from “I’ll be an enby because I’ll never pass as a girl” to “I wanna be a pretty pretty princess, let’s do makeup tutorials and look like a clown” to “I’ll just be a butch lesbian, where are my cargo pants and flannel, I already own that” to “I wanna be exclusively made of goth eyeliner and oversized hoodies and thigh highs” to “maybe I’m actually some kind of horny chaos gremlin, and it’s more fun if what’s in my pants is a mystery”. Next week I will probably feel differently. It’s a real exploration of a space I previously thought I wasn’t allowed into; I am “boldly going where no man has gone before”, lol. It’s a lot to take in and exploration takes effort and time, but it’s very rewarding to learn about what I like and don’t like. Turns out there’s a lot of ways to be a person.

Also hey, good job for asking. It’s scary to ask for help, often the hardest part. You got this. If you wanna talk more I’m open to messages and happy to talk about my experience.

Lol I am listening to Hodgman right now on E Pluribus Motto as I scroll past and came to see if anyone else mentioned him. He was so young then!

Volunteer work. I can’t do anything for the folks in Minneapolis right now but I can invest that energy into protecting and supporting my own community so we’re better prepared when they come for us.