Thank you!!! 💜

Thank you Domi!!!

Yeaaaaah I can’t stay still very long lol really though, I’ve been researching bottom surgery for years, even before I knew I was going to transition. So after I got my fertility preservation and hormone therapy figured out, I knew that getting the ball (heh) rolling on it was going to be one of my big goals, along with finishing electrolysis and voice therapy. I’m going to be getting it like almost exactly on my 1st birHRTday but its just because I’ve already done so much legwork already.

It’s been interesting how I’ve been feeling now that I have a date. I thought that maybe the dysphoria would alleviate knowing that there’s an end to it, but that wasn’t really the case. I’m a little worried that it’ll actually just continue getting worse in the lead up. However, I feel much more settled in my identity and I’m actually pretty proud of myself for continuing to pursue it and advocate for myself. Like the imposter syndrome has almost disappeared.

I hope your appointment goes well and that your timeline works out!

Are you on top of hair removal?

Nooooooo lmao my surgeon said it isn’t needed, they cauterize the follicles during the surgery. They said the most I should ever notice is an occasional hair on the dilator but the get like at least 95% of the hair. I’m getting electrolysis on my face but my electrologist is around me so infrequently that it would take years to get the hair completely removed.

Congrats on getting to the t-minus 1 month mark! Keep me updated on how its going if you’d care to :)

Yea I had a mental breakdown when I was told it’d be 3 years. I’m glad that I was able to get myself together and figure out another option.

I can’t wait to explore with my wife. We haven’t had sex for over a year because my dysphoria became so bad. So literally any improvement whatsoever in that department will be welcome. We’ve also talked about and are super excited to try the same things you mentioned.

I hope your revision goes well! Thank you so much for commenting :)

Thank you for sharing! I have some friends offering to meal train for me and I may take them up on it. Others are willing to hang out so I’m sure it’ll be nice to have some human contact and give my wife a break from doting on me for weeks on end lol I have actuay lost about 20lbs since starting hrt and I’m pretty active now. I definitely plan on going on more daily walks leading up though.

I really appreciate the tips :)

Fucking. Slay. Girl

So proud of you.

Aaaah I live for window euphoria. It hides the facial hair shadow and blemishes on my face so Ican just be like “damn I’ll be fine as hell once I’m done with electrolysis”

It’s not difficult once you get used to the process and how it feels. I tuck pretty much every waking second as I have really bad bottom dysphoria. I learned from a wikihow lol and my tip is to wear two pairs of snug panties with a sturdy elastic waistband. I never use tape or a gaff and I am perfectly fine going out in leggings or booty shorts.

Quick addition: outside of the times when I use the bathroom and have to retuck, I can mostly forget that it’s there. If I’m not tucked, I am hyperaware that it exists all the time.

You know your body better than I do. But I just think that a couple days is way too early to notice or be concerned about any long term changes or consider changing doses. It takes weeks for the medicine to equalize in your system. That being said, sertraline and SSRI’s in general have a well known side effect of diminished libido.

Noooo my wife very much views me as the same person. Just less hidden and more accessible. This has always been part of who I am, it’s just now we know what to call it and I’m doing something about it. It certainly takes her a while to adjust to new developments but I think that’s to be expected. We still have some pre-transition pictures around still.

Last words from me: staying alive is more important than having a sex drive.

I would like to emphasize this as well.

Hi! I was on Sertraline for several years. I started at 25mg a day and slowly ramped up to 125. It was way before I transitioned so I can’t speak to any changes I felt due to HRT. I feel like it helped me round out the peaks and valleys of my anxiety and depression so that I could at least function and try to institute some positive coping strategies without cratering into a puddle of depressive goo. I had several weeks of onset where it just felt like I was literally floating and extremely disassociated. This subsided as time went on but would come back if I ever missed a dose.

Libido wise, it didn’t really effect my desire too much. It helps that my wife was a smoke show (still is but used to be too), but I understand what you mean when you say the sensation has dropped. I sometimes wouldn’t be able to orgasm for hours. Overall, I think you definitely need to wait for it to normalize in your system before you can really notice the effects of the sertraline specifically. I haven’t been on it for a long time but I think like some of what you’re experiencing could also be due to HRT. In my experience, that initial onset was so wacky that it’s hard to pin anything down as being specifically caused by the medicine. Hope this helps :)

I got goosebumps

If you’re into hot sauces, my favorite is the Yellow Bird brand Ghost pepper sauce. I’m literally addicted to it.

Still not sure where I took the guts for that from tbh.

I get that. Some of my friends have told me how brave I am and I’m just like “I don’t really feel brave, I just got fed up”. Thank you for sharing :)

Heyyy Brooke! Good to see ya girl! It’s so interesting posting an introduction after having lurked for so long cuz I feel like I already know so many people lol I plan to be here for a while 💜

P.S. ACAB

Thanks! It’s a nickname my wife gave me based on my actual name :)

I started out with my safe ones as well. I’m really priveledged that I already had such amazing supportive friends and most of my family. Julia, I hope that you’re able to find better IRL friends or that your existing friends come around.

After 2 weeks I knew I that this was what i needed

That’s soo good to hear! I didn’t really have that realization until probably about 2-3 months. It took a while to get my hormones to the target levels since I started on tablets. My liver converts the estradiol almost entirely to estrone so my E1 levels were astronomical. My doctor moved me to patches and that point is when I was like “oh hell yeah, this is what life is supposed to feel like”. Having that feeling combined with finally seeing my testosterone levels within the cis range made me absolutely bawl because it was proof that I wasn’t, like, deluding myself or something. That this is actually what is right for me. That plus the fact that my tits started growing about 2-3 weeks in. I am on Spiro so it took a while for my T levels to bottom out.

If the only thing i got from HRT was the emotional changes, I’d still never stop taking it.

Same, girl. I am finally able to feel moved by a piece of art, or inspired and hopeful by someone else’s triumphs, or saddened by tragedy. For all the good and bad, its nice to be able to fully feel. I wouldn’t want to trade it for anything.