My personal experience trumps your personal experience!

This is the problem. We’re all so keen to talk, and not to listen. You’re old enough to have fucked dude’s Grandma? Congratulations you lived in a different world.

And unfortunately, one of the only places that are consistently telling young men they AREN’T disgusting, perverse and annoying is the same place that actively makes men into annoying, perverse, disgusting people. For a lot of young men, the only consistent positive reinforcement they receive is from Tate et al. The only ones teaching men (poorly, but still) how to navigate these interpersonal relationships are the ones turning them into pests.

None of this is the individual woman’s fault. None of this is the individual man’s fault. It’s a societal failing, and the only way we’re going to fix it is as a society. Men’s problems are women’s problems, and women’s problems are men’s problems. We all shape the world we share, and we all have a duty to shape it into a better one, for everyone.

The “sex is impolite” thing… I think that’s a lot bigger than a lot of people give credit. I grew up in a non-denominational Christian house in the deep South. The only sex education I got was abstinence only, if you have sex with someone it’s basically the same as having sex with every person that person has ever had sex with. Your penis will fall off, her vagina will fall off, and you’ll have 37 babies.

Obviously, on an intellectual level, I’ve rejected all of that. Sex is fine and normal, having multiple partners throughout your life is normal. Your penis and her vagina will be fine, as long as you’re careful. No kids if you’re careful.

Despite this, for my entire life, sex has just been a thing that you don’t talk about. You don’t ask for. You’re not a friend if you want sex, you’re a pest. But also, you can’t want sex from someone you’ve just met, then you’re a creep and a pervert. You have to be their friend first, build a relationship and then you can want sex, but remember - you’re not a friend if you want sex, so you’re just living a lie to get sex. It’s a vicious catch 22. One of the biggest driving factors in all animals - sex - and we’ve moralized it so that we both cannot seek it and must obtain it.

I’ve got a fair few female friends. Some of them I would not mind having a deeper relationship with. But there’s always the struggle. Am I just being nice to get with her? Well, I can’t do that - I’d feel like a horrible person. So let’s just be friends and ignore the feelings for too long. Let’s let her believe we’re just friends, nothing more, until I can’t ignore it, confess feelings, and - shocker - that’s not a recipe for a relationship.

We’re all products of our environment. I can recognize a lot of the factors that have led me to having the mentality that I do. Unfortunately, the environments for so many of us are just not good ones. It feels like every major force in our lives is pushing us towards isolation. The problem isn’t men, isn’t women, it’s all just fucked. The whole thing needs an overhaul.

Give em a few generations, they’ll learn.

Absolutely bamboozled

Bramble jam??

This. I’ve got a fair few trans friends, and we’re all in agreement - unless it’s obvious we’re talking in gendered terms based on context, “dude”, “man”, “bro”, etc are just interjections, not reference to someone’s gender. And, when we are talking in gendered contexts, we tend to be pretty clear about that.

Killing in the Name is the right answer, I feel.

… . -.?

I had already read that book prior to my teacher reading it aloud in class. She couldn’t read that chapter, so I volunteered to, having already had my trauma from the scene. We didn’t end up watching the movie, though.

I never got plastering logos for whatever brands you love to consume on everything you own. Like buying decals and stickers and shit to put all over your car, laptop, whatever else. Since when do we pay to advertise for brands…?

I want to find the person who decided that was the way. Hold actions are great, if there’s ALREADY a press action and you’re out of buttons. If there’s no press action and I have to hold your button just because, you’re bad designers. If you’re THAT worried about someone doing something on accident, give me the option to disable it. You don’t get to advertise 80 hours of gameplay when 20 of that is holding a button for the UI to work.

Another good video discussing the origins of Yahweh/YHWH

Okay that sounds a lot less insane than the mental picture I had. I was like, “mines? Some weird construction…? Snow piercer?” But it sounds like just regular level younger people doing obsessive things to the point of resembling self-harm.

That’s your only contribution? Cool. Objections duly noted.

Proofreading your own work without a significant time gap is pretty useless. You’ll catch a few obvious errors, but approaching the same problem in the same mental space tends to lead to the same thought patterns, tends to lead to making or overlooking the same mistakes.

You’ll do a bit better reapproaching the subject a few days later. It’s almost, but not quite, like reading a new piece of writing. In my experience, comments are set and forget, unless you’re obsessive like me and enjoy rereading your old shit.

By far the most effective proofreading, though, is an Editor. There’s a reason it’s a paid position for anyone who makes a living writing. A completely different person will read the text more as-is, without accidentally interpreting it how they INTENDED it to be written. This will catch far more errors, but isn’t really practical for shit posting in social media. The closest you’ll get is someone calling out a typo or grammatical error.

As long as the intent of the message is clear, it passes the bar for acceptable social media content. We’re not writing PhD theses, we’re just having fun discussions. We’re not writing a paper meant to be readable to someone independently, we’re engaging in dialogue and can easily ask the other person to clarify.

TL;DR high-level proofreading and error correcting isn’t really as viable on social media as it is formal writing, nor is it really necessary as long as the message received is the message intended.

If you don’t mind me asking, what was the environment? That sounds miserable.

As a dude with weird AF sitting positions (seriously, this is vanilla compared to the curl of limbs I can become), I’ve never once crushed my junk from sitting. I don’t know how people have trouble with them.

I’d love a single giant lady to finger…

What were we talking about again?

Get my resume together