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Cake day: 2025年3月10日

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  • I’ve done some reading about CPTSD and it’s… surreal to read about something that so perfectly explains my situation. Autism itself isn’t a disability, but rather it’s CPTSD that does the disabling.

    I’ll have to check out those videos. I appreciate the suggestion.

    While Cyberpunk is indeed not a happy game I still greatly appreciate the maturity, the heavy themes, and the critiques of American society and capitalism. Even the romances are mature and well written.



  • I have a lifetime of unprocessed trauma leaking into my every day life. I was put on antidepressants when I was 12 and weened myself off of them when I was 31. Taking the lid off Pandora’s box has overall improved my life but every once in a while something will trigger repressed emotions and I’ll have a period of a few days to a few weeks where I can’t stop crying. It’s pure, unfiltered grief. And it comes in waves.

    This time it was Cyberpunk 2077. I had heard that this game was emotional, so I was prepared for the effect it was always going to have on me. Or at least I thought I was prepared. A particular storyline put a large hole in the dam holding everything back. I do appreciate it when a piece of media can punch a hole in my dam, as it needs to happen, but I sure am fucked up right now.

    Crying in public and at work isn’t fun.