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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • I had a therapist who specialized in working with ADHD adults and she was very good about calling me out on my “shoulds”. She would say “who told you that?” or “why do you feel that way?” or “where does that belief come from?” just about every time a “should” came out of my mouth. It was a really good practice in reframing, and making me realize I was feeling external pressures by comparing myself to others, or not giving myself the time and space I needed to accomplish the things that would satisy me. I’d encourage everyone in this thread to try getting to the bottom of your “shoulds”, it’s helped me understand and be kinder to myself.




  • EV driving really shines in local trips, which is the majority of most people’s driving. My husband and I have solar panels and a plug in hybrid, so his commute to work every day is essentially free for us (aside from wear and tear). If you’re regularly driving long hauls then fully EV doesn’t seem to make sense yet, but for every day driving, the trade off of having cheaper daily trips with occasional higher expenses for long hauls probably still nets a lower cost per mile.



  • This is really well articulated and puts into words the reason I stopped playing. I was one of those non FPS players who really thrived on Sym and Moira and Mercy and I felt welcomed and appreciated when it first came out. I just had fun and that made me want to try to get better and kept me coming back. As they kept retooling things, especially with Sym 3.0, I felt they were deliberately pushing me and people like me out. Instead of having a fun, wild and playful team game for my friends to all have a good time in, it became just another FPS game.


  • Nefara@lemmy.worldtoRPGMemes @ttrpg.networkBoobplate (Ironlily)
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    16 days ago

    This is a common misconception but it’s just not true. As you can see in this video mobility is hardly a problem. It certainly would be possible that a piece could be bent or damaged badly enough to hinder you, but a properly fit set is going to let you do whatever you need to do in a battle. You are certainly right that it was expensive though, full plate was similar to buying a luxury car. It was rare but not that rare, a sign of wealth and social class but not like only kings could wear it. And it certainly was not strictly ornamental.


  • Women absolutely are penalized for showing emotion. Socially between friends there is a lot better support, and that is probably what you are thinking of. In a workplace environment though, there can be serious consequences for expressing anything other than congeniality. If you’re socially withdrawn you’re an ice queen, if you get angry (no matter how justifiable) you’re a bitch or a dragon lady. If you’re stressed and not perfectly composed you’re weak “unable to handle the pressure”. I get that men are subject to the same kind of judgments but there seems to be more leeway.




  • We have a credit card that gives 6% cash back on groceries, 3% on gas and some discounts on streaming services. It blows my mind that every few months I can cash out a $200 or so credit towards my balance. I needed to buy those things anyway and have autopay set to the full balance each month so it really is free money. So if you can get one, absolutely a credit card that gives cash back. The one I mentioned is Amex Blue Cash Preferred but there other options out there that give other bonuses, like 2% back on everything or 6% back on something up to a certain cap.






  • There are so many different types of intelligence, and so many different ways of judging them. Someone’s intelligence can vary so much even on a day to day basis based on if they get enough sleep, their blood sugar, stress levels, hormones, health issues, distractions, etc etc. I used to put SO MUCH stock in intelligence but as I’ve gotten wiser I’ve realized it doesn’t matter if they can solve math problems quickly or have a big vocabulary or specialized in a niche field of science or got an advanced degree etc etc. I learned that as long as a partner is good at problem solving and makes good decisions, none of the rest matters. Are the decisions they are making consistently making their and other’s lives better? Are they able to tackle hurdles when they come between them and their goals? If the other pieces of compatibility are there then that’s really all that’s important.