You would probably begin by having the police break into canneries and tyre factories to beat dents into any round objects they produce, then end up having to concentrate enough mass in neighbouring states to distort spacetime to the point where π
, as measured on a non-Euclidean circle with locally Euclidean constant curvature or radius or something, does in fact equal the number you said it is.
“Robinson”!?!
I’m sorry but you’re going to have to hand in your passport.