First, they came for the trans people* and I did nothing because I am not trans.
Then they came for the immigrants and I did nothing because I am not an immigrant.
Then they came for women’s rights and I did nothing because I am not a woman.
Then they came for the… wait, what? Hold up!

* They came really hard for the trans people. Like strangely hard. Like they had some find of fixation.

The only way to stop a bad guy with some porn…

‘disgusting’ balls

My ex-girlfriend’s nickname for me.

Fuck vapers billowing out their enormous clouds of nauseating, fetid, fruit guffs. I don’t want to smell your straw-fucking-berry exhalation, you self-absorbed wankers.

another over damage to an unknown piece of police equipment.

You can just sat ‘shat in the toaster’.

And yet there are a lot more c-words down south.

I’ve got the pox, so that’s a pretty clear sign that the end times are upon us.

Shocking. I have a small studio flat (it’s not much but comfortable) in a surgical operating theatre but will they let me incinerate tyres in an old oil drum? No, they will not!

Fuck vapes and fuck vapers. I don’t want to breathe your cloud of toxic fake-fruit-smelling shit.

Bonfire Night is really just not that big a deal over here. I’d happily bet you one shiny new pence piece that he’s in the US today.

Surely you mean pic-a-nic basket?

That poor bastard yak (or whatever) wandered into the wrong canyon that day.

Careful, my wife grew up on the mean streets of Hampstead.

But she’s got no opinion on whether Quality Street or Rises are better which came as a surprise to me.

Good! Any civilised society should have good public toilets and good public libraries.

My missus will fight you!

Again, this is not the original, but I seem to recall seeing it in the late 90s.

And this was definitely 90s.

Cheetahs don’t have retractable claws, therefore dog.

Is he sure?

Whuuuuuu??? You should come round our place, they’re always the ones left in the bottom of the tub.