FnordPrefect [comrade/them, he/him]

“Calm down! That’s his leg…”

“Irradiate the Roads? You don’t actually believe this do you?”

“Eh, gotta irradiate something!”

I can’t be the only one who sees this as: “Don’t listen to this nerd! Also, don’t you want to check your phone?”

Plasticizers are chemical compounds that make materials more flexible. “No matter who you are, or where you are, your daily level of exposure to these plasticizer chemicals is high and persistent,” Volz said. “They are ubiquitous.”

Well, at least all the microplastics invading my brain are staying nice and flexible…

Gilligan’s ISSland

“That’s right! It’s going well…”

“Sure it is. It’s just the coming back that’s causing trouble!”

Would it be a reasonable guess that this could be caused by untreated farm runoff from infected cows’ poo?

Meanwhile the Dems are whining and flailing because China has too many solar panels and EVs

“What? It is self-driving! It drives itself straight into walls!”

“Sure appreciate that the government functions just well enough to make it illegal for it to function at all…”

“Sure thing bro!”

The US army has been training these militants inside Al-Tanf under the pretext of confronting ISIS.

“Look, just put these two letter patches after your name and we’ll fund you instead of fight you. Deal?”

One month later

“We’re pleased to announce the eradication of ISIS with the heroic deeds of our forces in the area: ISISN’T”

“If we stop testing right now, we’d have very few [concerns], if any.”

And that’s not even with the “real man” window extensions that stick out another 3 feet to see around all the nothing they’re hauling

“Ask not, ‘Can we afford to?’ but ‘Can we afford not to?’ Have you seen the MIC lately?!”

“What?! No! My identity is “Truck”. And the bigger the truck the more my identity it is!”

Court documents show the charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

At least three sources of video of him committing murder, six shots worth of ballistics used to commit murder, and the body of the man he just murdered is a lack of evidence?!

I wish for things to change enough for me to be a Bloomer

Monkey Paw curls one finger

🎵 We’ll send him shitty contracts
the worst we can find

He’ll have to strike through them all
and we’ll monitor his mind 🎵

Heavy Crossbow

Heavy Crossbow

I wonder if there was family drama when Tommy Boy came out:

“You can’t make a movie where the bad guy is an evil capitalist who doesn’t care about the auto-workers. That’s a direct attack on your cousin!”