🦷 Queer Autistic Paraphile Introvert Loveless Alien Freak 🦷
Hello and welcome.
Ok so when you do anal for the first time it can be pretty painful. It’s important to prepare, not go to big or too fast at first, but the area can absolutely be immensely pleasurable.
Fun story, I’ve had a cis guy try to tell me once that people without prostates (no, he didn’t use that phrasing) couldn’t enjoy anal because they lacked prostates. Which is absolutely false. You don’t need a prostate to enjoy anal.
Yes. I remember a couple summers ago, walking down a street and thinking to myself ‘I would rather fuck everyone’s grandpa than one kid, I can’t possibly be a pedophile’. While, the former is still true, I’ve come to understand that 1. Pedophilia isn’t shameful, and 2. Attraction can be a funky thing.
What I realized is that I don’t like using ‘myself’ in sexual fantasies, so in the place of ‘myself’ I like to use young teens. My aesthetic attraction to others automatically turns sexual and I am equally attracted to either ‘side’ of the fantasy. Even though the ‘substitute me’ is mostly me, there is also a little part of me that enjoys being the other perspective. Plurality + attraction be funky I guess.
When I was a teen, my sexual fantasies were more similar to how they are now, but for a large chunk in between I thought that because I was getting older, the people in my fantasies had to age up to, the older I got, the more I felt like something was missing from my fantasies, but I was too scared to think sexually of young teens again. Being in paraphilia positive spaces helped me understand that I am allowed to fantasize about whatever the fuck I want, and I am free again.
So even though my MAPness isn’t very ‘direct’, that doesn’t mean I won’t think sexual thoughts when I see an attractive kid. I still try to not look at kids when I’m outside. Kids don’t not make me horny, etc. It’s just that it’s not appealing for me to be the one that fucks them. I’ve never understood why attraction has to involve yourself. All the signs lead to what I’m experiencing as being some type of attraction, I think.
So that’s why I decided to call myself a MAP. Maybe it’s not 100% logical, but I’m more MAP than not MAP. Also for context, I am aro and aplatonic.
I do think it’s possible to only be a fictoMAP or like kodocon for other reasons like being an autoMAP or trying to cope with childhood trauma.
That said, there’s still a huge issue of Kodocons antagonizing MAPs, even though they’re not that far removed from being a MAP themselves, and it’s pathetic. I wouldn’t be surprised if a large portion of them were in the closet.
It’s also not illegal to have a community. No one here is promoting real life rape and abuse afaik. If they are then I am not associated with them.
It’s not illegal to be a pedophile or have an opinion.
I agree with you. The way that crime is handled in society does very little to actually prevent crime. Prison doesn’t reform or rehabilitate criminals, and I’m gonna go out on a limb and say at least half of all prisoners are unfairly incarcerated. Drugs and consensual relationships shouldn’t be illegal for one. Many people steal because they have no other choice. Protestors get arrested unfairly. Self defense cases who couldn’t afford a good lawyer. And don’t get me started on systematic racism, ableism, etc. But even for those that did do horrible things, in a lot of cases it could have been prevented if they’d had more support and kindness and understanding in their lives. I wish people actually tried to figure out why these people snap and do the things they do and try to work on that instead of just putting them in a cell to rot with no support and maybe let them out depending on how much money and connections they have. It doesn’t do anything. Everything is fucking unfair.
The reason I emphasized adults, is because anti-cs tend to not believe minors anyway, so the adult card is probably the best bet at a solid argument.
Couldn’t agree more. There are countless receipts of adults who confess having had intimate desires and relationships while they were minors (as young as toddlers) and that it was completely consensual. I am not about to disregard them about their own experiences. Everyone deserves autonomy. There is no magical age that every person becomes viable for consent.
That’s beautiful and devastating, thank you!
That’s great you found a possible candidate for your MAP awakening! The first youth I can remember being into was Toph from Avatar, but I think it was age appropriate at the time.
No one:
My brain: Adopt a kid the same age as your lgf and raise them as sisters.
I love this so much!! Especially since I’m a nexus (plural) of MAPs and AAMs!! 💟
Ageweird here.
I feel nostalgic about my childhood home, and the tv shows I used to watch, also the late 2000s to early 2010s internet. But I am also nostalgic about the 70s-90s, which I never experienced. Well, I was a baby in the late 90s, but that barely counts. I really enjoy watching old shows, music, and documentaries from around that time, in particular I like seeing the fashion and aesthetics. Lastly, I am nostalgic about liminal spaces, forests, abandoned or overgrown places, etc. Can’t really explain why or how.