MaybeALittleBitWeird

Is this the Barbie movie everyone’s been talking about?

I’ve posted my own OC before and I understand completely how fucking weird and aggressive people can be. I don’t want to go into details because this isn’t the place for it but on top of being kink-friendly I have a body type that invites some of the more depraved people. Enough so that I’m really not interested in posting myself any longer.

I just don’t want to see this place turn into the same version of walled gardens that Reddit ended up as. We’ve interacted enough at this point where I think you have a sense of my personality and even I’ve been banned and blocked for some very innocuous comments in the past when the reality is that if I had been told I crossed a line I would have apologized. I know that obviously everyone isn’t as reasonable or understanding, but just like with the conversation with downvotes, you can’t force a user to use a tool appropriately and there will always be bad actors on both sides. I think the one-way communication block allows for the least exploitation while still accomplishing the goal.

I’m not sure about private communities, but maybe someone else can chime in. I know you can disable comments and posts at the very least.

I understand where you’re coming from with your opinion and I don’t think it’s incorrect in any way, but I still personally disagree. A conversation requires two people and if you block off one end it’s no longer that. Just like you mention, they will tired eventually and move on. I’m not sure if Lemmy allows blocked users to comment on posts by users they’ve been blocked by actually though. I would hope not at least because that is a situation I absolutely do not think should be allowed.

I actually prefer the one-way ban personally, but I’m not a poster generally. I would imagine that the people who are enough of a problem to require the two-way ban would just ban-evade with another account anyway.

Blocking is only one way here as well. If you block a user then their comments and posts will no longer appear for you. If there is a comment by the blocked user in a conversation it shows up as ‘There is no record of this comment’ the same as if it was removed by mod action or if it’s the end of the comment chain you just can’t expand it (At least on Jerboa). Blocked communities don’t show in your feed and won’t show up in a search if you try to manually go to it either.

Your own comments and posts will still show to the blocked user however.

I actually wasn’t aware that the mark as read implementation required voting to register as I’ve never had it enabled. That does change my perspective quite a bit of true. I can see that being okay for general news or tech content, but when you add sex, which is largely going to come down to personal preferences, to that it certainly creates problems. Honestly a lot of the problems people are talking about in this thread come down to implementation problems in the end, but we just need to do the best we can with what we have for the time being.

I appreciate your verbalization of the issue at hand. I like to think of the vote system more along the lines of appropriateness upvote=appropriate/good, no vote=appropriate/neutral or not good, and downvote=inappropriate/broken/rule breaking.

Not interacting with a post has about as much of an effect on the non-chronological sorting as a downvote does so essentially you’re just going out of your way to make someone feel bad if it’s an appropriate fit for the community and you use it as an “Ew” button. This behavior becomes especially problematic when it comes to non-promotional OC.

It’s not perfect, but I think removing the downvotes for a brief stint will have a pretty good impact on training user behavior to help facilitate growth until this place is at a point where there is enough core functionality to allow for better solutions.

I’m happy to hear that the overall consensus was for disabling downvotes for the time being. I don’t think this is something that should be in place forever, but for now it’s a step in a positive direction. I’d like to note that other instances can still downvotes posts and comments that are federated so we still might see some issues in that regard.

People seem to want to treat Lemmy as a platform exactly like Reddit, but the reality is that things just don’t work the same here. There is no algorithm filtering things out in the background to ensure you have a homogenous feed and keep you engaged. It takes a little bit of work to curate your feed to be what you’d like to see and just because something is outside your personal preferences and kinks doesn’t mean that it is bad.

I’ve seen people mention multiple times in this thread that they downvote all the “weird” stuff they don’t like. All the same “weird” things exist on Reddit in their own communities, but there is a greater volume of other content posted to the point where you likely won’t see it. This is a place that is starving for content and downvoting someone because they are curvier or don’t like the same kind of hentai as you only dissuades people from posting anything else. You can’t encourage growth by telling people to not post.

Edit: Forgot to mention that I appreciate you mods and admins! I don’t envy the firestorm that this change may cause.

At things stage I largely comment on OC. Mostly just to encourage it to keep being posted because it’s pretty sparse at this point on this platform and gets drowned out by pic collectors. Commenting is the best way to keep visibility high, as I’m sure you’re aware.

Commenting on OC is easy because you can default to observation and flattery. Commenting on non-OC content is more difficult so you’ll always be at a disadvantage. I need to either have a photo deeply resonate with me or maybe a question on my end or very specific comment on an element that I appreciate.

For me, I have a long-term partner who is not very into exploring boundaries and likes to keep things simple. Because of this I really only have experience with simple restraints. If you post an artistic picture of a complex restraint, a lot of that subtlety will probably be lost on me even if I still can appreciate that it’s a cool thing I like that I cannot or will not ever do. It’s difficult to leave a comment about something that you don’t fully understand though and if my best reaction is “Cool!” I’m likely to just upvote and not say anything because I don’t feel I have anything of value to contribute.

If your goal is to interact with other people with a similar interest, my suggestion would be to leave a bit of information as to what attracted you to that specific image in the description. This gives someone an opportunity to connect and a bit of information to latch onto and comment on. Sellers use engagement-baits for a reason - they work. The community is small right now so I don’t know how many fish will bite, but it might increase your odds.

For what it’s worth, I almost always appreciate your posts! We have a lot of kink overlap and, funny enough, I don’t normally run into interesting ties in my day to day life 😆

Please fix your attitude

You’re right that the default sorting being local-active definitely doesn’t help. The new user experience for Lemmy in general has issues at its core unfortunately. Setting communities as default is an easy solution, but would have its own set of issues.

I don’t think it’s a bad solution to have defaults, but it would require pretty clear and heavy moderation, likely from admins themselves. This would also have the secondary effect of forcing admins to take a stance on what kind of content should primarily be on the instance. All of this also ignores how feasible something like that would be across all the varying apps and front ends, which I have no idea.

Some interests are niche enough to be a turn off to a general audience though. When a new user shows up for the very first time and only sees two dozen hentai feet pics or whoever the fuck Matty Perez is as their entire feed it can be confusing. When they need to actively seek out content with general appeal it will make it seem like this is essentially only a fetish community. At a certain point it does become a detracting factor towards attracting new users.

I agree that these things take time and that there will be more waves of new users once porn bans are in place on larger platforms, but unless there is a stable amount of content with general appeal as a ‘hook’ to keep people coming back it will be difficult to see any real growth.

In my opinion this entire instance seems to be having an identity crisis. It’s trying to emulate too many different platforms at once without having the user base to successfully do this.

It’s things like this where I wish I didn’t have the most delicious blood on the planet. That’s what the mosquitos tell me at least.

God this resonates with me so hard. It’s not that she doesn’t enjoy it, I know that much, but she will always prefer penetration of some form. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in the same position you describe and being pulled up and told “sex now!” As someone who just genuinely enjoys oral it is quite frustrating and a little sad. We get a little kinky so at least sometimes I can just say no, suffer 😈! So at least I’ve got that going for me I guess haha