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The original was posted on /r/jokes by /u/MysteriousEntity on 2023-08-10 14:35:11+00:00.

Ridiculus goes to court and says, “I’m-a in-nocent-a! You have-a gott to beli-eve-a me!” (Ancient Romans sounded like Italians, in case you didn’t know.)

They sentence him to fight in the colosseum. Turns out he his quite good at fighting. In no time he becomes the best, and he makes a great friend along the way.

One evening, after another day of tough fighting, his friend says, “Don’t you wish-a, with all of your figh-ting skills, you could have-a your neigh-bor in front of-a you now-a? Wouldn’t you want-a to cut-a him right in half-a?!”

Ridiculus says, “I used to be-a furious about-a it, but now I’m-a glad he ate her!”