• Nate Cox@programming.dev
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    8 months ago

    I’d like to go to the Philippines someday, and I really dislike the stereotypes presented that there could only possibly be one reason.

    I’ve spent about a quarter of my life training in the martial art arnis; I’m knowledgeable enough that I have taught or helped to teach classes myself. I would love to go to the land where it was born and train with masters there… which just happens to be the Philippines.

    I’m also a software developer by trade and have worked with a few people who my company outsourced from the Philippines. A couple of them have really been a delight to work with and I would really like to travel and hang out with them.

    It’s irritating that I need to include a wall of text to justify that I may have a non creep reason to want to travel. Thanks a lot, actual creeps ruining things for the rest of us.

    • astreus@lemmy.ml
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      8 months ago

      The big thing I will say from my experience there: the people are AMAZING. I didn’t get ripped off, everyone was so friendly, got to play basketball with a group of kids and had a blast. And the nature is incredible.

      It also had some of the most downtrodden areas I’ve ever seen, some of the biggest displays of wealth disparity, and after a few weeks on different islands, Manilla felt more like a theme park for the rich than any kind of city.

      Overall, really recommend it, but try going off the beaten path!

      • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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        8 months ago

        I feel like there should be a disclaimer on this comment: “WARNING: you are more likely to get ripped off, shot, witness cartel activity, and/or have your organs illegally harvested in the Philippines. Please speak with your doctor to see if going to the Philippines is right for you.”

        • crazyCat@sh.itjust.works
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          8 months ago

          There should be a disclaimer on your comment that says you don’t know what you’re talking about.

          • TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee
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            8 months ago

            I think you’re going a little bit too hard on the denial. I get you’ve lived there and seen your share of things, but that stuff IS more present.

            I do appreciate that you don’t want to let these things dissuade others from traveling there, but honestly, I would have benefitted greatly from hearing that warning before visiting Manila.

            • crazyCat@sh.itjust.works
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              8 months ago

              Are there risks? Sure, especially if you purposefully wander into shady activity. If you don’t, though, it’s largely a normal, albeit economically challenged, place. And the people, food and natural environment are great.

    • harry_balzac@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      I understand this. I was underemployed for a while, so I was doing tutoring American English online. Since I was working graves, my schedule meant I ended up with clients from SE Asia, China, Japan.

      After a few months, I found better work and didn’t need to tutor as much. I cut my availability and was down to 2, then one.

      The one I still tutor is a Filipina in nursing school. Most people, when they find that out, go straight to the “I’m a creep/She wants a green card” duality.

      I get tired of explaining that she actually qualifies for permanent residency as soon as she gets her work visa. She doesn’t need me at all to come to the US to work.

      There are plenty of legitimate organizations and agencies that help Filipino nurses get jobs and visas at minimal cost above the required fees.

      She has mentioned that she’d prefer to live with me and would be open to a relationship with me, even though I am older…much older.

      I leave that last bit out when talking to folks because it makes me sound like a creep. I totally get why people would think that.

      On the other hand, an attractive, intelligent, hardworking, and fun younger woman is interested in me? It’s a challenge to say no to that.

      • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Most people, when they find that out, go straight to the “I’m a creep/She wants a green card” duality.

        Pro-tip. When someone says something like that just stare at them. When they start getting nervous and ask you a question like “what?” coldly ask them to repeat what they just said and perhaps elaborate on it. Keep starring even after they backoff or apologize. Keep it up until they walk away.

        No one will ever question your love again because people are fucking cowards and bigots are even more cowardly than most.

        • nomous@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          It’s like you didn’t even read their comment and just jumped to “make them explain it!” like that’s going to shame some 50yr old who thinks his buddy is picking up a mail-order bride.

    • VaultBoyNewVegas@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      My brother is 26 and his gf is a similar age. Because we’re on the other side of the world they’ve a long distance relationship but he traveled there last year to spend a few months with her. They talk basically all day on a Saturday and Sunday as he works during the week. There’s nothing creepy or pedophilic about him yet that’s clearly the assumption that would get made when despite being around the same age. And yes I have seen what his gf looks like and she speaks to the rest of the family sometimes too.

    • crazyCat@sh.itjust.works
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      8 months ago

      I’m a foreigner who owns a business in the Philippines and has worked connected to there for years. (Though I live elsewhere in China) You don’t have to worry about anything - the Philippines is awesome and tons of people go there for legit reasons and no one will raise an eyebrow about your trip, all good.

    • TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee
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      8 months ago

      as someone who’s visited, I can say the stereotypes are very real. and it’s the locals who will have that perception of you, not social media.

      they will still be very welcoming

    • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      It isn’t the creeps ruining things it is fuckers stereotyping people. The world is full of creeps no one has a monopoly on them.