I WFH, every year one of the goals that the rest of the team decides is that it’s “so great” to see each other in person. The past few years haven’t worked out but one did. I spent hours in a couple of airports, the huge expense for the company, I spent days away from my family, and for what? So you could look me in my same face you would see if we turned cameras on every once in a while? My husband says I’m being weird, but I legitimately want to know, what is the benefit? I hate being there and have to play nice so you can…look me even closer in the face?
Not the same as interpersonal interaction, misses much of the communication we evolved to express and understand.
OTOH, I’ve had a few Zoom-only relationships where we’re pretty tight, but that’s rare.
LOL, one of those is my Zoom rep. We email occasionally, trade pics and jokes. Every few months we Zoom and shoot the bullshit about our lives. She gets me the skinny on upcoming stuff, where my account’s at, what I might need or not need. Because we’re tight like that, she jumps when I need a thing, and in turn, I read all her correspondence carefully.
Another is a coworker, nearly my best friend at the company. When we finally met in person at a team meeting, we were tight. Boss was like, “Had you guys met before today?!”
Again, pretty rare relationships. Know who I’m really close to? The guy who lives here who I used to work in the office with. Man came to my wedding. None of those remote people did. When he needs my help, I jump.
And if anyone wants to poo-poo interpersonal work relationships, I will ask that person what they think of long-distance relationships. The conventional wisdom is that they don’t work out. (Yes, I know those are different. But how different and why? Think on that.)
Great post and question! Much food for thought as we navigate this new world.
Anyway, I had some thoughts earlier tonight, both pro and con.
https://old.lemmy.world/comment/8056815
I’m sure you have friends outside of work right?
That’s the part I never understand about people who connect working in office and with the fun of seeing others is person.
Why are you so willing to put up with commuting, office quality furniture, public restroom facilities, sick people who realllllly should have leverage optional work from home days or just regular old sick time… When you could just have more time for friends outside of the workplace.
I see my friends on weekends or they come over and we have game nights spending quality time with each other rather than infrequent unplanned interactions when we both should be doing something else.
My personal life friends are the people I “jump” for. Not coworkers. Having to “jump” for a coworker is and should be an inconvenience in the workplace because it means a failure of planning occurred somewhere. You can still have friendly camaraderie in the face of inconvenient circumstances but I don’t think you need to have some deep relationship to help out a colleague. That comes with the job to some extent.
When I’ve become friends with people from work, I invite them into my entirely separate personal life and in fact that is the case for one of my closest friends.
I just feel like If you wanna hang out with people from the office invite them to something outside of the office. The whole captive audience thing is such a demoralizing foundation to start a friendship with.
Honestly, our office has quality furniture and nice restrooms which are frequently cleaned and restocked throughout the day.
It seems like the difference in this thread is people that like their work vs people that hate it. It seems like the latter is in the majority.
I like my work but I see my coworkers similar to the people I see on public transportation. Limited, friendly interaction when needed. Never consider your work colleagues as more than that. It’s creepy.
Yep, I really enjoy my job too and I even work with some really good people but I keep my personal life… personal. It’s not like I hide my personality and life from my colleagues but I’ve got enough friends that I don’t feel like I need to add any more to my inner circle.
Depends on where you work. My colleagues are brilliant, I’ve made lifelong friends at my work place but then it’s quite a radical work environment so attracts interesting people. I’d be gutted if I couldn’t see them every week.
A “radical” work environment? What do you work for, the Red Army?
Not far off, it’s a worker co-op 😆
It’s not as cool as you might think it is. You’re still operating in capitalism
So why not hang out with them outside of the workplace?
Obviously I do, some of them are close friends now. But being around 100 people I really like for 27 hours a week is really good for me. During the pandemic I only went into the physical office once a week and it made me realise how much I appreciate that kind of socialisation.
Or people may like the technical side of their work but hate everything else.
I’ve seen people in technical roles that love to do technical design work, but they are middling at it because they don’t cross-learn from others nor do they choose to do the bare minimum in coordination before turning in a submission.
And we have written in the job description that the role includes cross-discipline coordination and direction of less knowledgeable staff, so it isn’t like it isn’t part of their job like they claim.
I don’t mean to say that the place can’t be nice but I would hope your home is of greater comfort than your workplace in most cases.
I’ve worked retail, office jobs, call center jobs and warehouse jobs. I made an office ‘friend’ in two of those jobs. One who id grab drinks with outside of work and another who id chat to via text occasionally. But as our jobs changed and lives moved on. So did we.
I don’t feel the need to be forced into social situations, people are tiring and there’s better things I could spend my time on that being shoved into a room with co-works who I have no interest in talking to and have no interest in talking to me.
Both my best friends are long distance friends. I’ve known one for 13 years, we’ve met up once. And one for 9 years who I’ve never met in person. And they’re the best friends I’ve ever had. If they have issues, I’m right there via text or call to help. Same if I have issues. We send eachother gifts for birthdays/ Christmas, or just because. The 9 year friend and I do a book trade and recommend eachother things we think the other would like (not just book recommendations).
My partner and I have been together for almost 2 years now, we live in different countries. And it’s honestly the best relationship I’ve ever had. Not because of the distance, we visit eachother multiple times a year. But the distance also isn’t an issue.
So long distance friendships/ relationships can work.
Just because some people need that face to face interaction, doesn’t mean everyone else does. Especially when it’s forced by a workplace. If it was to meet up with a friend, I’m sure it would be more welcomed. But being made to meet up with co-workers who aren’t friends/ close with, that sounds miserable. Being made to do something you don’t want to do/ aren’t interested in is never fun. Ever try get a teenager to clean their room? Often not very high on their list because it’s something they don’t want to do. The same can be said for social events with co-workers for a lot of people.