I’m thinking of putting together a posting guide to make it clearer what kind of content is appropriate here and hopefully inspire some more non-mod posting. What sort of content and which men’s issues would you like to see more of?
I would be happy with just a men oriented space without misogyny, since those are rather rare.
Back on Reddit’s equivalent community, I enjoyed reading how straight men relate to and experience their masculinity in all those context of life where the default script would be provided by patriarchy. Basically reading about how straight men find ways to overcome that default script. This may be somewhat voyeuristic and I hope it doesn’t make any straight guys uncomfortable to hear, but it is, in some way, healing to witness such instances of non-patriarchal masculinity. It offers hope.
Secondarily, I liked that it served as a compassionate space to talk about sexual and domestic abuse against men of any sexuality. As a gay guy back on Reddit, I found that the gay male subreddits were horrible places to talk about abuse experiences because the patriarchal script was performed to a tee. The MensLib community was far better on this topic.
In summary:
What sort of content and which men’s issues would you like to see more of?
Advice and personal discussion posts, and posts tackling abuse against men.
I was also part of the reddit equivalent, hopefully this comes close to being similar :)
/r/daddit was great, even if it was primarily focused on fathers. One of the only communities I miss.
Healthy dad content is absolutely welcome here.
I would appreciate posts of various resources, especially (support) groups and reading material for those who communicate primarily through their keyboards and screens.
Didn’t want to make a whole post just for this, but looking at the sidebar,
Men at the top of society enforce a system (patriarchy) that ends up repressing the average man.
I don’t agree with this statement. I don’t think patriarchy is enforced by “men at the top of society”, but by most (if not all) men. Sure there is a spectrum of how much of a… patriarchy reproducer a man can be, but that doesn’t mean it’s only men “at the top” hurting the “average man”.
I would contest that only men are the issue. I have found in my personal life, when I have been vulnerable, or emotional, or distressed, the cost is quite severe socially. Men don’t open up, because often society doesn’t want them to open up. Weirdly enough, it’s the women in my life that have most frequently had a negative reaction to my humanity/distress/vulnerability, guys often have been there and they understand to some extent. They may not always know what to say or how to respond, but you often feel the empathy.
I don’t believe you have to assume men are the cause of all problem to believe in positive tenets of feminism such as that women should be free to be who they are, and achieve what they want and society and governments should accommodate that right and eradicate those things that hold them back.
I get what you’re saying and while you’ve got a great point there’s something to be said for the way you’ve quoted there too.
Consider a monarchistic kingdom. The king enforces the system but the people uphold it by going along. If they gathered together they could easily topple the kingdom but without that effort it persists.
But in modern patriarchy that kingdom exists because of a combination of tradition and a few voices being given a lot of extra credence.
At the same time it all comes with assumptions about the participation level of men at large. That’s difficult to discern because of how much of it is internalized. Removed from all of that would they choose to continue oppressive behavior, fight against it, or somewhere in between?
I think for a lot of men it’s unconscious. They participate without considering. We often have to fight against deeply held beliefs being wrong, so if we know we’re good people and *ism is bad we must not be. So someone saying we are must have a reason for trying to make us think we are.
Often that reason is because we are and we need to improve but that’s not always easy to hear.
It is undeniable, however, that there are men at the top who stand to gain from its continuance and work to see that happen.
All in all I do both agree and disagree with you. None of this is meant to be upsetting or anything of the like. I could just see an alternative point of view that was both men at the top enforcing and non-enforcing men still hurting each other through the enforced system and wanted to make sure you had the opportunity to consider it.
I’ve been liking what I’m seeing so far. I personally enjoy posts that ask for input from the community about their experiences and perspectives.
But lots of different kinds of content is useful, articles, videos, reading lists, etc.
Positive content about men or the issues they face.
Obviously there could be content about men where they can improve, but you’re just going to push guys away from engaging if the content goes down that line that “all men are the problem and you should be embarrassed about who you are.”. It’s going to be a pretty poor community if it’s just filled with guys with self-loathing.
I’m enjoying your posts. This hasn’t turned into an incel rage farm, which I really appreciate.
It would be interesting to talk about current events, but that has the risk of drawing out the trolls.
As a father of boys, I do like stuff about raising healthy men.
Pretty much this. I would like to avoid a bunch of posts with little engagement if possible.
I understand that that’s hard with smaller spaces but a bunch of posts with 0 comments is usually a turnoff when I look at a community. Kind of raises the sketchy incel/alt-right feeder community vibe in my mind.
I like the idea of this community I never really saw one on reddit nore did I really seek one out. Honestly current events even with trolls would be fine if it could be kept respectful. They usually just make a fool of themselves or ratioed.
Times are changing.
The biggest factor here is that I am currently still the only poster and am trying to get a vibe for what kind of content is appropriate here. The firehose of content will have to die down eventually because I will run out of content from my current sources.
Yeah wasn’t a dig or anything you are doing great!
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If you’re going to keep posting, can I suggest posting a little less often? A few posts a day would be great. It’s hard to engage with more than that.
