• MuhammadJesusGaySex@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I went from heroin to methadone, and methadone to nothing. It fucking SUCKS. I hate being around people. I used to be quite the social butterfly. I have hacked away at the people I let into my life down to one friend. I hate people so much that it’s hard to put up with my partner and kids. Loud noises make me irrationally angry. I don’t leave the house unless I HAVE to. Since I got sober I have dreams where I talk to my friends that died from overdoses.

    I had a dream where a woman I knew that died of an overdose came to visit me. She sat on the sofa next to me and put her head on my shoulder. When I woke up I could still feel her hair on my face.

    I hate being sober. I wish that weed didn’t make me anxious. I wish alcohol didn’t make me feel like shit. I didn’t like uppers before I got sober. Opiates aren’t even an option.

    But you know what? As much as being sober fucking sucks, and it does suck make no mistake about it. I won’t die a slave. I am free. I am finally free, and I’m not giving my freedom away again for anyone or anything. I’ve been heroin free for about 5 years. I’m almost 2 years completely sober.