• FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    It’s kind of nice when people reveal themselves to be insufferable douchebags at the outset rather than wasting your time.

    • scarabic@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      As my wife will tell you, there are benefits to being married to an insufferable douchebag. Chiefly, you can be pretty confident they won’t play around on you, because no one else will have them.

    • Rutter@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      He has a valid point there. If he doesn’t want to say , you keep talking the same shit and expect a different answer?

      • Jamie@jamie.moe
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        1 year ago

        Not wanting to answer a question is fine, but doing that by just being pretentious isn’t a good way of going about it. Being forthcoming about not really wanting to talk about your music preferences is fine, changing the subject politely is also fine so you don’t leave the onus of carrying conversation entirely on the other person.

        Acting like your music choices are too out there for anyone else to understand is a good way to not have them relate to you in any way.

  • GustavoM@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    If someone does not take the least amount of effort to answer a simple question like that one … then he doesn’t care about you in the slightest.

    “But its a generic question!”

    Two words: common courtesy.

    • CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      People (guys usually) also answer like this when they are trying to tell you exactly what you want to hear so that you’ll sleep with them. They feel like if they give any wrong answer early on, they’ve lost their chance. It’s a very manipulative mindset. He was like a deer in the headlights, not knowing if any answer he gave would be the right answer since he doesn’t know her at all yet. So he stalls, hoping she’ll drop it.

      Or he might just be an idiot.

      Either way, drop them and move on to somebody who will be real with you.

      • GustavoM@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        In other words, playing games, i.e trying to “tick her funne bone” so he gets someone else to play instead of himself. But what most of those guys fail to acknowledge is that “tickling her funne bone” takes time – it’s not a “free pussy pass” of any sort that you “say it”, and she goes “WHOOAAA fuck me mister! Fuck me right NOW!”. That is not “acting tough” or smart, but acting like a douche.

      • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Yeah, that was my thought as well. This is the type of person who is only going to say something of they think it will impress you. The second possibility is that they will share nothing of themselves, period. In either case, they don’t seem like good relationship material.

      • Aesthesiaphilia@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        They feel like if they give any wrong answer early on, they’ve lost their chance.

        To be fair, that’s usually correct. Women have their pick of men, generally. If a guy answers a band she doesn’t like, most likely she’ll move on.

        So guys lie and tell her everything she wants to hear. And then once they get their foot in the door, they can start telling the truth.

        This guy handled it very badly but I can see why he didn’t want to answer.

        • FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Yeah I may not be a relationship expert but if I have to lie for an ice breaker not even a deep question just an ice breaker I don’t think that relation will work

    • Cannacheques@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Nah it’s one of those things where some guys just prefer to talk about what they think matters to everyone, their job or financial conditions, music or other personal stuff might just be an extra on their minds

      • Poob@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago

        So an idiot.

        If someone asks you about your taste in music, then clearly music matters to them.

  • ShlorpianMafia@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    “It’s something you’ve never heard of”

    “How do you know?”

    “…because I’m never going to tell you about it”

    • Burstar@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      The whole conversation is a facepalm. This should have been 3 lines:

      “What’s the last song you saved?”

        'I am not comfortable sharing that information with you'
      

      “Okay, if you’re aren’t willing to let me get to know your basic interests clearly this isn’t the kind of relationship I’m looking for. Good luck and have a nice day” [ends transmission]

      • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        That sure would be nice but that pesky ego/personality is a tough one to ignore.

        I personally found that a lot of the women I talked to on dating apps acclimate themselves by becoming more jaded, sarcastic etc as a defense.

        Can’t blame em haha

      • Smokeydope@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        If only people were straight forward and detached.

        Fantasy: “This relationship is not working out anymore, it is time for a break up/ divorce so we can move on with our long term lives in a more positive way.”

        “Yes I agree let us proceed forward in a calm and reasonable manor with no screaming or anger. We shall split assets in a fair and non-childish way.”

        “Okay I will be staying in another house/motel until the house is sold, have a good one”

        “You too!”

        Reality: 5 hours of incoherent scream fighting, crying and baseless threats followed by another 5 hours of passionate makeup sex

      • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Nah, it’s the overall response pattern, tease, deny reject, feed after something really bad happens.

        It’s classical abuse techniques

        • HardlightCereal@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          How is the yellow one teasing? I just see a really emotionally unavailable person with no interest in vulnerability. There’s nothing appealing or interesting, so how is it enticing interest? And what does feed mean?

          • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Because someone is showing interest in him on an app that’s designed for finding interested people. He then reciprocates that curiosity and interest in him with “I’m not gonna tell you”

            “Come on tell me”

            “Haha no”

            That’s textbook “teasing behavior”. Feeding is when the abuser flips about face and apologizes and does big grandiose corrections for previous behavior and then the cycle continues. This dude didn’t get that far but that’s pretty sensible considering they were only just talking and that technique is reserved as a way to “reel them back in”

            • HardlightCereal@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Man, I don’t understand neurotypicals. In whatever world my brain is meant to be in, opaque people are unappealing

              • scottywh@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                I don’t think there’s anything typical about that behavior outside that incel, wannabe player, pick up artist community … Or whatever the fuck they call it these days…

                • HardlightCereal@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  Oh, no, I mean being susceptible to these tactics. To my autism brain, whatever “trick” this incel is using is the equivalent of holding up a huge sign saying “I AM VERY BORING”. I don’t get how this attracts anyone.

  • Haru@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    So glad I’m not going through this any more. I think I’d rather be single than do online dating again.

  • mrfriki@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    But you got to know what kind of person she is, right? The app did its job.

  • scarabic@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    He’s thinking “what does music have to do with me getting sex as quickly s possible?”